Thoughts.com Blogs - Definitely NOT a Groupie

I don't know what I want anymore. I feel like I want something real--tangible. I feel like I want someone who is there for me, a companion, a partner. But I keep choosing these guys who will only have room in their lives for themselves. Or if they do have room for someone, it is for a woman much smaller than I. I am a big personality. I give alot, but expect alot in return.

I am always the girl who cautions her friends when she sees them dating a red flag guy. And they never listen to me. Am I in the same boat? Both my therapist and my friend who also happens to be a therapists have mentioned that Crafty's time issues seem to be in direct opposition to my needs. Both have said that it sounds like a dangerous mix. Perhaps i should listen.

Crafty is meeting up with a producer this evening who likes his CD. This could good for him. REALLY good. He's talented, to be sure. And I believe that he has the kind of charisma to "make it" in the music business. I just know I won't stick around if he does.

I have enough love in my heart for him to wish him success. I also have enough sense in my brain to know that I don't want to be with a rock star. No interest. Whatsoever. Some girls get off on dating professional athletes, musicians, whatever. And although I find talent very sexy, I have no desire to be with a man I can't trust. And temptations abound for even a moderately successful musician. I couldn't do it.

So Crafty, knock 'em dead tonight. I truly want the best for you. And I know how much you would love to be a successful singer. In my heart, I want all your dreams to come true. And if it does happen, then my heart will have to close itself to you. This is totally out of my hands and what will happen will happen. I send you off with the best of wishes and sadness in my soul.