Thoughts.com Blogs - Birthdays, birthdays

It was Crafty's birthday on saturday and mine on sunday. That's alot of pressure!

Crafty worked all week and I asked what he wanted to do for his birthday. he was undecided and just wanted to play it by ear. He went out with some friends friday after work and I thought maybe he would call me to join him, but I didn't hear from him. I texted him happy birthday at midnight and then went to bed. I got a call at 2 AM. He was drunk drunk drunk drunk drunk.

"The bar's closing. Come and get me. I'm hammered"

I told him I was already asleep, but he kept saying he wanted to wake up with me on his birthday. How could I say no.

I pulled up outside the bar and he was barely standing. His pants were unzipped and he was babbling about how he couldn't feel his right arm. His friends helped load him in the car and I took him to his apartment. I don't think I've ever seen him that drunk before. It was amusung and disturbing at the same time.

He kept insisting on giving me my birthday present, but I told him I wanted to wait. That it was his birthday and we should celebrate that first.

Crafty's a talker when drunk. He was going on and on about his night and I just let him. It's amazing how much you can find out when someone is wasted.

He mentioned how a cute girl was chatting him up when he was at the bar waiting for his friends. How cool she was and just as I started to bristle with jealousy, he said, " and I was so relieved when she said she had a boyfriend. because i thought she was hitting on me. And you're my girl"

Still, I was a little upset. Why hadn't he called me to hang out earlier? Did he always chat up chicks at bars? That's what Douchebag did, and eventually he found one to cheat on me with.

I brought up my concerns. Crafty looked at me earnestly and started telling me how much he cares about me, how much he likes being with me and he said. "I want to take care of you", And then

"I love you."

There was an awkward pause.

"you're drunk," I said

"I didn't mean to dsay that. I mean, i am falling in love with you..."

I knew he felt it was premature, so I let him off the hook. I made some stupid joke and we pretended it never happened.

When we woke up the next morning, the first thing he did was thank me for coming over. He said that he really wanted to wake up next to me on his birthday. i was happy to do it, and quite honestly happy thats what he wanted for his birthday.

All week he had been saying how he didn't know what he wanted to do. Probably just hang out, watch some march madness and maybe have a few drinks. I was never explicitly involved in any of these plans and I wanted to make sure to give him his space if he wanted to be by himself or with his friends that day. But in the end, we spent the whole day together, getting breakfast, test driving a car for him, watching baketball, shopping. It was so calm and relaxed.

We ended the day at my favorite cheesy Thai restaurant/bar for drinks and nibbles. We were just about the only ones in the place, but it didn't matter. We were just having a great time. And when midnight struck, we passed the baton from his birthday to mine. I quite like having our birthdays next to each other! We went home and fell asleep holding each other and talking. At one point, i simply felt overwhelmed with emotion. He was in the middle of saying something and I covered his mouth with my hand. "I am going to say this because I want to. Not because I want anything in return. I love you." He kissed me and said "Happy birthday, baby." And we drifted off.

The next day was Easter and also my big party. I expected only 10 people but 25 said they were coming. I bought two hams and moved all the furniture out of the living room.

Crafty and I went to breakfast and then he dropped me off to make the food while he finished looking for my gifts. I'm a hard woman to shop for. It doesn't help that i also give awesome gifts. The day before, i had given him his presents---a mandolin slicer for his crafty work, a t-shirt that said "not a big masturbater" (a phrase he had uttered to me a few weeks before and I had found hilarious), and two box seats to the indians-dodgers game. He's a huge indians fan and I got him the best seats available over their dugout. I also baked him a cream cake with honey buttercream frosting and then finished the night by giving him the lap dance that I had learned in the class i had been taking. He was a happy boy, but also felt some pressure to come up with something big as my gift.

Generally, i am disappointed by my presents. I get alot of bath gels and lotions, even though I hate baths. Last year i received three sets of pierced earrings even though my ears aren't pierced. And with boyfriends, it's even worse. They get me things they would like. One got me a birdfeeer to hang outside my window because he liked birds. Another who loved movies got me some dvd's. My ex husband once gave me a heart paper weight. Really? Is my desk that windy that i need a paperweight to hold all that shit down?

Well, Crafty came through with flying colors. I had mentioned I liked gardenias, and he bought me a beautiful gardenia plant. He also gave me a signed picture of waldorf and statler, the two old men in the balcony in the Muppets. The whole week he had been working on the muppets set and he causually asked who my favorite was. those two old men who heckle everyone are totally me and my sister. So while he was on set, he befriended the puppeteers and got them to sign a picture for me. These are the guys who have done it from day one. I am not much for autographed picture, but come on! these are the muppets. I was so thrilled.

He also bought me the cutest vintage dress. I've never had a man buy me clothes before. I was surprised. It was a bold move. But if fit perfectly and is just my style. The boy is good!

The best part of it all, though, was the card. He wrote,

"Happy Birthday Baby!
I am glad that we met.
I truly enjoy every moment I spend with you.
Meeting you was not planned but the best things in life usually are not...
Thank you for just being you!
Two words that sum it up for me: wonderful and finally!
Thank you!"

I was touched.

We had about an hour to just hang out until the guests started to arrive. He was a little nervous, meeting all my friends at once. But almost all of them have asked me the same thing. "Does he make you happy?" And I always tell them yes, with a big grin on my face. In fact, i told him that while we were waiting for everyone. "Good." he said. "That's my job." Swoon.

Dinner was fun and relaxing. the ham, mushroom risotto and coconut pudding rolls went off without a hitch. Afterwards, we all went to koreatown, where I had rented a private karoake room for the rest of the night.

Now, I love me some karaoke. I grew up in a piano bar, and just have it in my blood i suppose. I end up organizing some sort of karaoke on almost every birthday and the few that I do not, i always regret.

Crafty is a gifted singer, from what i've heard on his cd, but have never heard him live. Not even goofing around in the car. And he had told me from the very start that he does not sing karaoke. He just doesn't. not even on his sister's birthday. He had been pretty adament about this fact for a while, but I was confident that i could get him to sing something.

Private karaoke rooms are the best. You can go up and sing and know that you are among only friends. I had some great singers in the group and some not so good ones as well. But we all had fun and were cheering each other on. Crafty was having a great time playing the tambourine that they had provided with the room. He had never done this type of karaoke and halfway through the night, he said he would go up if i sang something with him.

So he picked "say it ain't so" by weezer. To be honest, i didn't really know any of the song except for the chorus, so i just stood there while he sang.

Oh my god, he has such a great voice. he rocked that song. Looking at my friends faces, I could see how impressed they were too. He sang it way better than the original. I just stood there with the biggest grin. I haven't had such a big smile on my face in a long time. I felt like a little kid.

Although i didn't want it to end, it did and when he finished, he said, "I never do this. Happy birthday."

Then he hugged me and whispered in my ear,

"I love you too."

The rest of the night was great. There were some wonderful songs and Crafty actually got up and did a couple of more tunes. After everyone started to leave, he suggested we continue and go to a local karaoke bar, which we did. After that, we stayed up and talked while eating fast food mexican in his kitchen. we ended up going to bed around 4 AM, but for me the night stopped after he sang his first song and whispered in my ear.

He had some things to do this morning as did I, but we met up for lunch and a nap. At one point he was telling me about how he surprised his family last summer with a visit. Just hearing how happy and emotional his parents were made me choke up.

"It's nice to hear how much they like you," I told him. The kind of love and closeness he has in his family is something I never had in mine. As hard as his life has been, I am glad he always has that.

He gave me a big hug and said, "Don't worry. I'm going to make up for it. I'll like you enough for all them."

It was a sweet sentiment. I know he can never replace the love that I didn't have growing up, just as I can never love him enough to heal the wounds he suffered because of an errant bullet. But the fact that he wants to try, the fact that he understands the pain--it makes me feel safe and comforted around him.

All in all, it was a great birthday weekend for both of us. And no one gave me bath gels. All my gifts we thoughtful and lovely, but in the end, there was only one thing I wished for and I got it.

he loves me.