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Broken Heart

Ok, so most people who are reading this, you probably already know josh and maryssa (for others, I'm really really like my friend josh and maryssa's my frenemy who also like josh) and today my heart was broken violently by josh and smashed into a million pieces by maryssa.

This may seem small to others but to me it was excruciatingly painful to watch. At lunch today, maryssa sat in between josh and me and just when josh and I got joking, she grabbed his hand, and shattered my heart. The worst part was, he didn't even look at their hands or move, he acted like my father does when he and my mother watch television. My heart hit my stomach then ricocheted into my throat. I almost left the table and to cry in the bathroom.

I know, I'm being over dramatic, but my real problem was that I was lied to by maryssa. She told me a million times that she wasn't dating josh and they were just friends. She lied to my, and I can never trust her again. I will never talk to her again.

I'm a liar as well. I lied. I will talk to her again. We just both have a common ground that is rare to be a lunch table topic with other girls- dysfunctional family and abusive parents. (about parents- don't ask now I'll explain later)

I need her, but I don't want to.

Posted by darknessprevails on 2009-04-07 17:59:26 | Rating:

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Thanks! You're so sweet! ☺

Posted by darknessprevails on 2009-04-08 20:39:15

I am sorry that she lied and said that they weren't dating when they were. I am sorry that you genuinly felt something for Josh and that he didn't reciprocate the way that you wanted him to.

It sounds like he wants you as a friend. That is what it sounds like he thinks of you as. Now you have to decide whether or not you want to be his friend or not.

If you and Maryssa are meant to be friends then a guy won't come between you too. I would talk to her and ask her why she didn't tell you the truth when she knew how you felt. Ask her how this all came about. She may have some things to say if your really willing to listen. But when you listen you also have to hear her. Keep an open mind. Try to take yourself out of the situation and pretend this is all something that is happening to someone else online and see whether you think what she has to say makes sense. Are you willing to loose someone that you think of as a friend over a guy when you admit that you could have anyone you wanted? Maybe you should keep josh as a potential best friend with Maryssa and find your self another guy thats just perfect for you. It sounds like he may be perfect but just not perfect for you especially if they are truly acting this comfortable with each other over such a short time. Some people just click together like they were meant to be. It may be sad but if you think about it, maybe its for the best.

Posted by sarahbraun on 2009-04-09 13:56:04