...............*Sighs*
i have no idea where to start..... I'm mad at a couple of my friends... I just feel left out of stuff.......And right now I'm mad at everyone.........Friends, Family, Doctors............Everyone in my path. I'm tired of pretending.....Everything is okay,My tears are Starting to show...and my smile....is fading away. I'm Dealing with alot right now and i don't know how to hold my anger in without taking it out on everyone else.......*Crys*..... I'm loosing grip.........I'm loosing everyone around me.....some im loosing cuz of my own stupidity. Some.......... to things i cant control or help or do anything about............But i so deeply whish i could.  I wish i could go back in time and Change things but i can't and it sucks so much.  I'm a girl who is broken.......And Keeps breaking everyday more and more with every Phone call i get. ............I don't know where i went wrong in life so far......... i've got only 15 more days left as a senior in high school..........I should be excited.........But i'm not, i have nothing to be excited for.........Why do i feel so depressed all the time.........Thats all i feel anymore..........rarely ever feel REAL happiness. I may look happy but deep inside i'm not.............It's just a front so people won't ask whats wrong..........Cus i dont want to tell em'.  I don't want people to get close to me... cuz i'm afraid if people do get close and i let my guard down either i will get hurt............or i will end up hurtin them first so i dont get hurt.. Maybe thats why my longest relationship only lasted 10 months. I've been single for a year and some months now.......It doesn't get easier or any funner....It gets lonelyer, sader..... And u feel alone all the time.. I hate being single.... but i can't let my guard down enough for someone to hurt me again.... I'm scared to let anyone in.......Scared of getting hurt,betrayed, played. and everything else that comes with it. But i do relize that if I don't eventually let it down and take the chance.............i'll never find love................*Sighs*