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| You can't talk your way out of this
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You can't do everything, you can't do it all alone.
I realized yesterday, being my first day back at school, how little patience I actually have for people. Also that the students aren't getting younger, I'm just getting older...
I'm going to talk to my dad about doing the homeschool thing after all. I'll never get anything done here. Currently I'm sitting in my American History class... I just did two worksheets a preschooler could have done... I don't want school to end though, because then I'll have to go to the apartment and deal with Justin, which just keeps progressively getting harder. I'm very, extremely close to quitting. Nothing I do for him is ever good enough, and I'm sick of it. Yesterday he came home from work sick and he was so mad that I wanted to go to my mom's for the night that he just threw a fucking fit... ignored me for the rest of the day... even when I was like "I hope you feel better," or "The apartment looks nice, I'm glad you cleaned it," he just sat there and pouted like a baby.
I don't know what else to tell him. I'm sorry that I thought I wanted more of you, I'm sorry that the sex wasn't good enough to keep me around and you're too moody to tolerate? I've already told him so many times, that I'm not even doing it to do him a favor anymore. I'm only doing it out of love for Jaylee, and love for extra money.
god, the thought of what's to come drains me. I don't even know if I have to work tonight. Fuck.
I want to prove to people that I can do this, that I'm ready for this... that I'm not just a stupid teenager with no sense of responsibility, that I can handle myself & I don't need anyone... but I'm not so sure it's true anymore :/
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| Blog Comments
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I get the feeling you just needed to rant in this blog. Perfectly understandable. It is also the first blog of yours that I've read so far so I'm a little out of the loop. But I wanted to comment nonetheless.
I think sometimes that a person (in this case, you) can be a smart teenager with a great sense of responsibility, able to handle yourself, and still need other people at the same time. Don't feel like you have to do everything on your own.
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Posted by carlysquestions
on 2008-09-03 10:27:48
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| Views: 36
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