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They think we're all the same

I've had such a great couple of days. My special someone, as it turns out, is very special and worth every second of baby mama drama I have to endure.

Although, she said some shit yesterday that made me think a lot, and kind of doubt his intentions with me, blah blah blah, but when I expressed that to him, everything he said kind of made it dissipate, so it's okay.

I guess I'm just really nervous to open up to someone new, I don't want to get attached just to get hurt and all that. In all honesty, what Tyler and I went through together just really changed my perspective on things for awhile. I didn't want anything romantic or warm, I just wanted detached and easy. It's weird having all that change, letting it happen, allowing someone new to walk into my life and melt me so quickly. And yet... I'm happy that it's happening. I know that I needed to change, to stop being the way that I was. Eventually my apathy spread from the romantic aspects of life into all others, affecting my relationships with family and friends and I don't want that at all. I think I've found a healthy balance, I'm still keeping myself locked up a little bit, but I don't see how that's wrong. I don't want to scare him away. Honestly, sometimes I think that I'm a little crazy. A little over the top. A little too different. Out of the ordinary, in the worst way. I can't really remember a time where I felt like I belonged... anywhere. My school, meh, it's school and until this year I was still exiled to an extent. I'm proud of who I am, even if I am a loner from time to time, but sometimes I wish I could be different.

Anyway, my insecurities make life a lot harder than it should be. I over complicate things and think too much and try to analyze things that should just be left alone. I always want to suck the sadness out of people, like it's venom in their veins, but I've realized I can't help people who aren't open to receiving help. It's nice that he lets me help him, while helping me and not even realizing it. It's really nice that he accepts me, and has pet names for me, and treats me with respect. It's really nice that he kisses my forehead and isn't afraid to laugh at me when i'm being stupid or stop me when I'm rambling out of pure nervousness. It's just really nice feeling this way. Warm.