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Taking responsibility

I've read words written on blog posts specifically designed to humiliate. belittle, distress and cause upset. This type of writing is also designed, in my opinion, to make the other person responsible for your emotions. Well I'm responsible for how I feel but I am sure as hell not responsible for how any other person feels or for their comprehension or lack of.

I normally say "each to their own" and "hey whatever turns you on" but, just occasionally, I read something that leaves me with a feeling of sadness. I'm sad for the individual who wrote the blog and sad for those, who without knowing the full facts, leave comments in support. It is important for me to point out, I have no problem with anyone commenting but surely the comment ought to be informed as opposed to being based on the bias and prejudice of the writer. Yes, most of us and I include myself, have bias and prejudice (some more than others) but shouldn't we acknowledge that?

I've read some blogs in which boo hoo, someone is alleged to have written a bad thing. It's like reading a paranoid whodunit with the "who" left out. The perpetrator is not named, their "crime" is merely alluded to, their whatever has been copied and then the threat if there is any more of this I'll report you. I suppose the person writing will say it's not a threat but a warning.

There is, of course, justification: this is my home. Blog sites are not designed as homes not even metaphorically, metaphysically or any meta. If you regard it as your home then surely you should make your blogs only open to friends rather than having strangers trampling leaving crumbs all over. Don't you just hate cleaning!

Yet, another justification: I'm not going to be bullied. The bullied becomes the bully and I suppose there is a kind of symmetry.

I don't have the emotional wherewithal to hate anyone and don't engage in projection. If someone doesn't agree with what has been written why is it offensive when it is challenged and if you feel that way then perhaps you shouldn't have written it in the first place.

So, finally, whatever happened to counting to five and writing "thank you for sharing that with me" and leaving it at that.

Posted by croker on 2009-10-18 11:46:07 | Rating:

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Blog Comments

You hippy, Bob would have loved that I think.
As for the "It's like reading a paranoid whodunit with the "who" left out." That is a perfect description of the novel I am attempting to write. Thanks heaps. Good to see you putting your 2 new pence in around the place.
Cheers
D

Posted by desinq on 2009-10-30 19:26:56

I like the way you write. Of course I do allude to things in some of my blogs because I do
not want to share certain info (my blog, my way) nor do I intend to start a blog war (which
by the way can be tempting at times). But since 'pride cometh before a fall' is one saying
I have noticed following me around a lot, I tremble in fear of being a loser! And from time
to time I take my own advice - overestimate your opponents. It would behoove them to
do the same. (that was me just flexing for my own amusement).

Posted by vestigesofhermind on 2009-11-01 12:29:38

Well put. Someone close to me said, you can't stop what other people do, but you do have a choice over how you react.

I tend to follow my sainted mothers advice when commenting on blogs - if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. I have occasionally made critical comments on 'op-ed' blogs, where I think there is space for rational argument, but even then there s no excuse for not being polite.

Posted by Perigo_Minas on 2009-11-03 16:33:34