Thoughts.com Blogs - An Angel or A Matriarch

The Air Force was threatening to force my father to retire for being so overweight. He was struggling with so many issues. He could not even manage to leave his room except to work let alone make friends, a girlfriend, anyone. He put us in therapy but that really didn't work. As soon as the therapist got the Air Force off his back that stopped. Dr. Stewart was fun. All we did was go there for an hour and play games like sorry and trouble. Couldn't really tell the truth....here's a hint doctor....DON'T ask the kids to talk about their father and tell the truth when he IS sitting there with them. One that time the Air Force threatened retirement.

His mother came to visit. She wanted to see what the fuss was all about. She and her youngest son....her golden child. They were disgusted by how we lived. You could tell he was just a disappointment to her and his brother. We cleanned that house under her direction for a week. It was so beautiful. She decided to play a game. Let's make a deal. The deal she made was the following: you send money for food and clothes and I will take one of your kids with me. This will alleviate some of your stress. My father agreed. Eenie, meanie, miney, mo.... which one shall I choose? It was easy....she said show me your hands....she looked at mine and told me I had short strong fingers that made me a good worker so she'd take me.

I was so proud. Felt like wow...I was picked by this Angel. She was going to save me from this nightmare. There was good and there was bad. We moved 12 hours away. I left my father and sisters and was so frightened. Who would care for my little sister? What would my life be like? At first it was nice. My grandmother taught me how important my studies were. I got to live in a clean house, she taught me how to cook. I loved having nice meals. My father raised me on diet pepsi, little debbie snacks, and domino's pizza. She was rather strict though, I got to watch 30 minutes of television a night and of her choosing, no soda pop, studies 1 hour a night, and no friends. I know doesn't sound bad but hell I was secluded...I needed to be socially active considering I never had the ability to be. I wasn't allowed really to hang out with anyone. No friends allowed over, not able to go anywhere.

She cleanned houses for a living and guess who got to help her....free labor. Yes. Not only did I do that but she made me also clean her walls every weekend, cut and paint her crusty toe nails, mow the lawn, whatever else she deemed necessary. She did this because it costs her money to keep me and she let me know my father failed to live up to his part of the bargain so I had to earn my keep. How special. I learned over those years that she was racist. She didn't love my dad's kids because they were mixed and she didn't love my father. She said that she had thought my older sister was my grandfather's daughter. She hated my mother. I got told of how my father sent money when he was away and my mother was pregnant and staying there. That she kept the money. Always about money. She was the head of the house. Whatever she wanted my grandfather did. There was no fighting with her. She was the grand manipulator. The greatest puppeteer. Queen Matriarch.

Those 3 years with her I learned so much. I studied hard and worked hard. I had no friends and really that was ok because the kids hated me anyway. I went to a small town school. There were no asians except me. The kids used to ridicule me. At lunch the front of the line would be the white kids, the back of the line the black kids and in the middle all alone was me. The kids used to laugh and tell me to go back where I came from, that they should have kid me in the war. How stupid were they? I'm South Vietnamese...dumb nuts! I got a nickname...CC. Guess what that stands for...Chinese Chick. What if you were paying attention you'd know that I said I'm Vietnamese. So yes they called me chinese for 4 years. Oh those were the days... :) Though my grandmother treated me more like hired help she was so proud of me. I think because everyone said she should be. The teachers loved me, I did so well, I worked hard, never caused problems, was a goody goody by all means. I won them over the years. I was poor but was in the honors classes which is where the rich kids were and they loved me because I helped them with their homework. The poor kids liked me because I didn't judge them and the regular kids liked me because I'm actually pretty funny. I laugh more at myself than anyone else.

Ok....I was a goody goody all around...then things changed....the family followed me to Ohio...