| crashing_down's Blog Comments |
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there's a dead lizard in the garage on 2008-04-30 21:45:19 |
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Hi Anotherdaze, thanks for your comment. I think that's a really nice story that you told about your son. Its great to hear that the family supported him in doing a special send off. I agree with your last sentence and I just feel like if human life is sacred why isn't animal life too? (And, if humans deserve for their bodies to be carefully and respectfully laid to rest once they have passed on, why not animals too?).
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| Posted in
Is it ever okay to lie?? YOUR OPINIONS PLEASE!! on 2008-04-29 01:57:33 |
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My thought on this is that your approach needs to be based on whether this person is a good friend or not. If they are a good friend they need you to be honest.... or else you're not a good friend.
If they aren't a good friend let them know you read it and you found its not they type of story you'd usually go for. Let them know you did notice the absence of editing - just skim over it like that.
If its a good friend stop and think carefully about how you're gonna be honest. I suggest if you are asked in church what you thought of it say that you'd like to have a chat to them about it properly later on - suggest going for a coffee or something. You could start by telling them that the gratuitous sex parts made you uncomfortable - tell him you wouldn't normally read a story like that... but tell him so its like - that's not my cup of tea... but, a legitimate area of writing for someone who wants to take that part. Tell him that you are surprised after all the hard work he put in that he would stop just short of the finish line by not getting it edited. Let him know it did detract from the reading experience for you and that you'd like to see him get things edited in future to do him justice so that he comes off as a professional writer to the general public. As you go also reassure him by acknowledging the amount of work he's done and remind him that most people who write never get published so he's definately making progress. Remind him that by necessity we learn things as we go. Suggest that he sees how this print run goes and then perhaps edit it and release a 2nd edition. Let him know its not the end of the world but that he should set his sights higher in future. Tell him you think he should set his sights higher because you believe in him and know that he's capable of putting out a properly finished, properly edited book.
If he's a good friend he may go away a bit bewildered and a bit hurt by what you've said. Over time it will sink in and it will make the friendship stronger. I know, I've got an artist friend who has helped me like that - I consider him my best friend 'cause he's the only one who's ever had the guts to sit down with me and do a post mortem on something that went bad like that. All the other people who pissed in my pocket didn't help me - he did... and I know he did it because he cared. We have a very strong friendship.
If its not a good friend I don't think going into detail is going to necessarily be good - he might just resent you because he doesn't understand that you only said things that seemed cruel to be nice. In that case just confirm you've read it, confirm the subject matter is not your cup of tea.... and if you feel like it just gently tell him you'd love to see him get his next novel edited properly because that'd really be the icing on the cake.
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| Posted in
About friendship.. on 2008-04-28 10:54:49 |
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It is hard when you are at school because everything revolves around belonging (or not belonging) to groups. I would say try to be friends with anyone who treats you well and whose company you enjoy. This might mean staying friends with the people in the group you currently hang out with plus your best friend even though they are in a different group. Later in life you realise its more important to have good individual friendships - groups are good to make a party but it can be bad to have a big group of loose friends and no one whose shoulder you can cry on.
Thats my 2 cents...
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A Hate Crime, Baby! on 2008-04-28 08:51:18 |
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Hi,
Just leaving a comment to let you know I was here. I like your writing style. I can relate on some things like reading between the lines and wondering about how liars so easily lie... or why they do it...
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Yerr, I was bullied once ... on 2008-04-27 06:56:30 |
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Thanks for sharing this. It touched me because I've been there done that with the eating lunch by myself at school thing. It was a long time ago but you don't forget things like that.
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banal mind vomit on 2008-04-26 21:36:40 |
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Thank you for your kind words. Things with M are awkward... the situation is unusual. I hope I did the best possible thing I could have done.
I find a lot of people don't expect beauty from Henry Rollins.... its there but you've gotta be prepared to go on the journey. In fact, I wasn't sure if anyone here would see it. I'm so glad you did...
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| Posted in
Changes.. on 2008-04-26 21:29:29 |
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Hmmm... I have a friend - I think of him every day... I think I've thought of him every day since we met 8 years ago. I love him dearly. He knows my soul - when I met him it was like we'd already known each other for a thousand years. We are not in love - never were and never could be.
When I read your blog about your friend I thought of my friend. I can't imagine that you could do anything but see him. If he asks you the hard questions and gets you to examine yourself it will only make you stronger. I know the pain - that bitter sweet pain when a friend sees right through you and has the kindess to tell you the cold hard truth. The truth you've denied and that others have seen but didn't care enough to tell you.
When I think of my friend and I think of what you wrote I can only advise you to set time aside - go to him however you must.... or if not, invite him to come to you. Make sure you have at least one day set aside to just sit and talk shit. Don't worry about the hard topics - don't start with them.... if they come up they do. But mainly just enjoy each other's company. Let him see you to see that you are okay. Let him tell you he knows that what you have seen become of him scares you. He knows already... it will be a relief to speak face to face and come to be at peace with how things are.
Sorry if I've missed your point... we're all in our own unique place... sometimes we think we understand someone but we don't necessarily.
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Figured out meaning of life......NO bullshit!! on 2008-04-26 04:31:38 |
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We are coming from different places. If I were to ever walk in your shoes no doubt I'd reconsider. Been taken advantage of by too many employers though - I do work hard - the hardest I can... also been beat down by too many co-workers who find it easier to bring people down a notch than to raise themselves up a notch.
Sounds like your workplace has a positive culture. That's good.
I dare say we are both guilty of throwing blanket generalities at concepts that have a huge range of variants. Wasn't trying to give you a hard time - just to have a discussion... maybe play devil's advocate a bit. I do it without noticiing anymore... maybe not so good online with no context.
As for the meaning of life... I don't think you've figured it out... I don't seriously believe that you seriously think you have though.
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stupid missing brain cells on 2008-04-26 04:18:31 |
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Hi, I'm kinda surprised you read my blog. I know that's your style - what you like to do. I know that from your blogs. But still, never figured anyone'd read mine - I don't write for anyone or any purpose and besides - I write too much. Anyway, thanks (I guess).
Treacle is very viscous and sticky - its a syrup - I believe its derived from sugar cane. Like honey or something but way more intense.
I don't recall being aggressive in my comment on your blog. I'll go on over and have another look when I'm finished with this. I have to ask, would it make any difference if I was a guy in reference to what I said and how you'd take it? No apology expected really... for the purposes of this activity I might as well be a cyborg.
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| Posted in
Figured out meaning of life......NO bullshit!! on 2008-04-25 02:05:41 |
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Btw - i read everything, all of it. Just cause.... last night, and today - over beer and coffee and whatever else... between conversations on msn - that kinda thing. I only read your last post when I made my first comment - didn't know that you own a business and employ people when I wrote it - I still stand by it... but I can see how an employer'd be less for what I say - less for the theory more for the the real, downright dirty, ugly truth - just how things are - just how the world steamrolls on. I for one am not giving up yet. Not gonna lie down and die in a dead end job - there's still a long way I can fall before I have to just get up and serve the devil.
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Figured out meaning of life......NO bullshit!! on 2008-04-24 03:07:04 |
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Hi, I don't agree. We are all worth more than money - when a boss puts a dollar figure on our time its an insult. Nevertheless no object that someone is selling is worth more than the highest price someone is willing to pay for it. The price is arbitrary - and it changes. Too many workers, not enough work - there's always be someone who'll work for less so the price comes down. Too much work, not enough workers - there's always an employer who'll pay more for that worker - it brings the price up. Its part and parcel of capitalism. Not to mention the fact that the only way an employer makes a profit is by paying a person less for a day of work than the value of that persons day of work. If you don't get it but want to get it read "wage labour and capital" by Karl Marx.
People are just yearning for something more because they're sick of tripping out of bed without enough sleep to battle their way to work to slave their guts out for someone else to make the profit etc, etc. Its okay to want something more. Happiness is the journey not the goal - if the journey's not doing it for you find a new one. That is all.
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Tissue? on 2008-04-23 21:58:55 |
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I like this post - a kind of reflection on blogging. Why do we do it? The media seems to want us all to believe that everyone is blogging trying to find their 15 minutes of fame. At various times I have kept diaries to write my thoughts down in - its very helpful when friends are not on hand to discuss things with. But, the problem with putting things on paper is that other people don't necessarily respect your privacy and will start reading what you wrote for your eyes only. When I get online I don't use my real name and I don't use anyone else's real name - the reason I write online is for privacy. I know that sounds crazy... but really, if everyone is talking at once to no one in particular about nothing in particular what's the chance that anyone is taking an interest in your mind vomit? Not much I figure.
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