So I'm away from home once again.  I'll be gone for four months and will have plenty of time to write some more blogs.  For those of you that actually viewed my blogs and haven't seen any in the last couple months, I apologize.  I was only home for 3 months and was extremely busy trying to get things as situated as possible before I left again.

So I just got over here today.  Things are okay I guess.  These last 3 months were really rough with the wife and all.  We constantly fought about things.  I treated her like crap, but I feel like it's okay.  If you look in my previous entries, you'll understand why.  But yea, the morning I left, I let her know that I still love her and always will.  And that I will always want to be with her regardless of what has happened. 

She ended up sending me a text saying that she was sorry for being mean the morning I left and how she is trying to cope with the fact that she is going to be a single mom again.  She also said that despite all that has been said the last 3 months, she will miss me and the good times we shared.

I don't know.  The text made me smile because it showed that she isn't always going to have a grudge against me.  I know I was wrong a lot of times, but I hope that one day she realizes that she wasn't always right either.

Another thing that confused me a little was the day before I left.  Her and I were watching a movie together when she turned to me and asked me if I would like to sleep in her room that night.  I told her I'd like that and then asked her if she was going to end up changing her mind.  She said no and kissed me on the forehead.  So that was good and all and I just tried to not get my hopes up because something always changes with her.

Her family made her mad about an hour later and she ended up going to bed early.  I finished packing and cleaning everything up and then poked my head in her room.  I asked her if she had changed her mind and she said no, so I went and laid down.  I couldn't keep my hands off of her.  I kept holding her and feeling her skin.  I knew that this would be the last time I would ever be able to sleep in the same bed as her.  A few times, she would roll over and push me away, but then it would be fine.

In the morning, she said that I was "groping" her all night.  That made me feel bad, but whatever.  I wasn't groping her.  She used to use that word a lot when I would grab her ass in public and stuff like that.

Anyway, that last night made me pretty sad because I have no idea how she still feels about me.  But hey, at least I told her how I feel.  The ball will always be in her court.