1. I think I love you.  Dear god...I think I really do love you!  Aren't I crazy?  Aren't you crazy?  Are we both on drugs?  Are we insane?  But you are an incredibly special person and one sexy badass.  I fear disappointing you.  I fear anything and everything that can go wrong.  I fear my own feelings.  I fear how I'm going to feel...but...I'm pressing onward.  I love you.  Just over two weeks...I can wait for you.

2. Half the time, I don't know how to deal with you.  I don't know what to say or do.  I don't know what you want, but upon further reflection, I don't think you know either.  And I guess that's alright.  The other half of the time, though...you're an awesome person.  I guess we all have our moments.  But it's not great to make a jab at someone and then leave it unjustified.  I'm going to be thinking about that all night, but I think I knew what you meant anyhow.  ...I'm sorry.

3. Stop.  Fucking stop now.  Stop being so negative.  Please.  You hate everything.  You are critical of EVERYTHING.  JUST QUIT.  I mean...yeah...you do have your moments...but the majority of the time, I don't want to deal with you.  I am not your slut.  I am not your anything-slut.  And neither is any other girl without her consent.  And you need to watch that.  I think you misinterpreted someone's advice.

 4. Goodness gracious, you are sexy!  You like skinny boys, but I think they're overrated.  What do you think about girls, though?

5. I'm sad you didn't appreciate my "Ceci n'est pas une pipe" shirt, especially since you're one of the few who would understand it without further explanation.  I still laughed when you said, "Bitch, please," though, which is probably one of the funnier things you say...you are so amusing and infinitely quotable and the smartest and most well-read person I know.  You tend to be overly critical, but since you're such a badass, I'll let it slide.