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| damn it |
well tonight sucked.
i had no desire to starve or purge.
but i got just that
i go to the football game im cold me and my sister walk home early
she tells me she might be pregnant to the guy that kicked the shit out of her a few months ago. yea well hes been coming over every day for the last 3 weeks
oh yeah forgot to mention hes a druggy big time. and passed out today from drinking and was gonna get me high yea i asked to but still
my sister is 15 hes 18
he has no money and i have given him like 60 fucking dollars. god im scared for my sister.
so i come home im really upset. i dont show it though. i have to pee. i ate alot at the gmae i wanna purge so bad even though i still absorbed the calories i still want that shit outta me.
i passed cause i thought about baskerball.how well im doing, how much i love it. and how bad i would be letting my team down.. so i pass and go upstairs to watch a movie with my sister.
the dush bag guy calls so she tells me to go down stairs for a while.
oh and b4 this my best friend tells me her boyfriend almost got beat up.and will if he comes to montgomery my town. ever again.
so yea im mad pissed and need a stress release. so i purge. every thing came up the 2 things of cheese stick and the thing of frys ok i know.gross i ate that much, but i liked the relase and will probly do it again. i was doing great i mean everything was normal and great. i dont want ana or mia in my life. i dont know what to do. im gonna go purge again. i know i wont lose any calories i just want empty so bad. so ill purge. text.chew gum. watch movie and go to bed. i really hope i dont do this shit tommarrow. i dont want this. at all. god i feel so shitty.
and i know can hear my sister yelling at him through the phone witch is gonna push me further.
so ill put on a brave face cause im the good kid. ill suck it up and cope. and probly starve again. god im fucked. damn damn damn
i just wanna sleep and never wake up.
and here i am supposidtly have a perfect life. its so damn fun.
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Posted by colbygirl88 on 2009-11-06 22:02:01 | Rating: | Views: 63
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