Thoughts.com Blogs - What the hell happened?

View Blog

What the hell happened?

I'm so confused. . . I honestly don't know exactly what's going on! I'm in high school and I've always been the rock amongst my friends. Nothing could shake me. I feel like I've just been toppled over by an earthquake! My mom suffered from depression a while ago and I can hardly remember but it was when her brother, my uncle, died. I remember her taking pills and I could hardly tell that anything was wrong. Now she suffers from some sort of depression according to my dad and he's trying to be good about it and keep everyone happy but. . . I just don't understand what's going on! I'm so scared. . . I know my friends have divorced parents or some family issues and I always sympathized when they needed sympathy but I couldn't really relate to any of the situations. I still don't know about anything! This sucks! Just yesterday Mom was her usual self and Dad didn't seem any different until they started to fight that night. Stuff like that's happened before though and I figured that if I plugged my ears and distracted myself, the matter would be solved before I even noticed like it always was. If my older brother though gets stressed out over the thought of our parents divorcing, then there's really something wrong. If my dad is joking around about the positives of divorce though it's unlikely for them after 25 years, then I feel a little scared. If my mom is bedridden not because of her usual sinus problems, athsma trouble, allergy issues, or sicknesses caught from one of us, but is bedridden because she's tired and depressed, then I just don't know what to think. Dad treats me like it's okay for me to know all this, but I don't understand anything! I'm scared. I've never dealth with anything like this. What the hell am I supposed to do? I can't smile forever! I'm keeping a stiff upper lip for my little brother, but how will I cope at school? I can't even focus on anything! My grades have been slipping a bit because I missed a week, but how will this affect them? What if my friends notice I'm acting differently? I hate sympathy. I hate showing a vulnerable side, but I'm always so cheerful or spacey at school, how can I cover this up? I don't know what to do now. . .

Posted by coco13 on 2009-10-21 00:14:20 | Rating:

| Views: 22

Email This to a Friend

Print This Blog Post

Bookmark:

Permalink:

Blog Comments

Oh honey.. I used to be just like you... Once my parents also had a fight and I cried and cried, hardly because I thought they would divorce, but because I felt I saw a side of their relationship I had never seen, that definitely involved a certain amount of humiliation for my mom, but in the end I realized that even if it WAS a side of their relationship that I would've preferred they kept hidden, it's worked for 27 years! So it can't be that bad... And it wasn't even anything!! I was just so shocked that it felt like the total opposite of what I usually saw, when it was really not that drastic...

So you know, it COULD be that you're speaking a bit too soon... Or that you're blowing this out of proportion! I, personally, think its wonderful. I do that all the time, and I hate it! But its part of being who we are... And hey you know, lately my mum has been depressed and weird and it turned out to be menopause and so she went to her doc and he gave her some super sweet pills [not anti-depressants, just hormone whatevers] and she distracts herself more and she's really started coming along!! It did take her a couple months before she could deal with it properly.. But you know, I'm just saying, it COULD be that... Good Luck!
Cheers! <3

Posted by AshleyZane on 2009-10-21 00:32:33

Thank you so much. I've just never dealt with this before and I can see how I might be blowing this a little out of proportion. Thanks for the advice! I really needed it..

Posted by coco13 on 2009-10-21 00:38:19

its said preach only you can practice.
dear since you have been giving advises and counseling to your friends on the same track that actually meant that you always had better guts to tackle this situation. thats why suggested them. its just like a critic who guides and passes a judgement has to undergo the same litmus test. it is said in all spiritual books too when you pass a judgement you actually invite the same situation to you. frame by frame. so you must have felt its exactly what you always thought of.
now you need to be an observer in this case. and use your senses in order to balance it in such a way that it doesnt affect your studies. look dear keep only reason for worry or anxiety is fear. keep fear away and have a positive hallucination. if you have to think why not think good, its a thought yet change it before it becomes a reality.
prince.gera@rediffmail.com

Posted by princegera on 2009-10-21 00:49:35