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Well this is the first time i have ever used a blog. I am just gonna express my thoughts right now..I am getting married in less than a year and half and it already getting exhausting and my family is getting pissed that i am worrying about is so much but i want it to be perfect cuz it is only happening once except for when i renew them.
I just found out the other day that my cousin is getting deployed to iraq and on easter weekend we are having a small get together for her and i am severely pissed because i told my family not to fucking plan anything that day because i was going to Kansas City to look for a wedding dress with my mom and maid of honor but no my grandma will get pissed at me if i don't show because my cousin might not make it back from Iraq well people need to realize that here lately there have been more people dying in the US than there have been in the war and i have a bigger chance of being killed driving than she does fighting in the war. I am done being the granddaughter that dropped everything she does just to do something with the family everyone can kiss my ass i am putting myself first for the first time in my life and i am fucking 19 years old that is bullshit i didn't get to enjoy my chldhood dammit I am enjoying my time before i get married.
The main reason why i am doing this is to get my frustrations out so i don't take them out on my fiance like i usually do anymore and i want to stop that.
My job is really stressing me out to i am working up to 40 hours a week and draining my self because the hours i work are anywhere between 8a and 8p and i have no time with my fiance or my brother.then at the end of the month what ever parper work i haven't gotten filled out i have to fill out and i don't get paid for it.
And there is some one that is helping my plan my wedding that is family but i won't name names in case if she finds this some how. She is trying to overtake my wedding plans and make them her own..i need to learn how to say no to people and not worry about them getting mad if they do oh well who cares....and here is one thing that reallly pisses me off the other day she told my fiancee i was lazy and that he would most likely always have to do the work around the house. That is bull shit too i have always cleaned up after other people and my self. Who cares if everyonce in a while i don't make the bed or i leave a glass on the kitchen counter over night its no big deal i usually clean it up the next day. And this family member has been flirting with my fiance and it's really pissin me off because when she is flirting with him he could be spending time with me...ecspecially after i don't get to see him all day
Another thing about my life that i hate is that i am plus size and trying to find a wedding dress store that treats u nicely is hard to find...they always stick their nose up in the air once they see you because they are skinny bitches...i am very comfortable with my body until i see these people that work in clothing stores stare me down and start down sizing me by the way i look. i may not look beautiful to everyone else but i think i am drop dead gorgeous and the only person that has the right to jusge me is God not all u other fuckers. Yes i know i cuz and i believe in God a little ( i don't believe in everything).
Well that is enough ranting for today i feel much better now. i will be on here every night i can hopefully..
PEACE OUT BITCHES!!
CJ |
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Posted by cmj7189 on 2008-02-12 22:31:02 | Rating: | Views: 28
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