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 Dealing with Grief
My grandpa passed away on February 5th of this year. He had been sick with cancer for about a year and we knew it didn't look good, but it was still a shock when he passed. I was up here in Norman, Oklahoma by myself (all my family is in Austin, Texas). My aunt flew up here and was here within a few hours of his passing. One of my best friends, Chris, came over and stayed with me. He also drove me to the airport to pick up my aunt. It was just a crazy couple of weeks and it was so hard and very sad.

The way I grew up was different from anyone I know. My mom had me by herself, my dad left my mom before I was born. A month after I was born my mom divorced my dad and my grandparents, particularly my grandpa told my mom that they would always take care of me. And that they did, many, many times over. A month before my first birthday my mom was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and I spent my first birthday visiting her in the hospital. My dad never came around, never paid child support. He is a jerk. He "tried" to supposedly be a part of my life and I tried, but he just gave me broken promises and lies. So I don't have anything to do with my dad and I am better off without him. But it is hard sometimes to think, damn I have a dad out there, he is alive, married with 3 other kids and he could care less about me. Its hard.  But anyways, back to my grandpa, he was my everything. I got all of my morals and beliefs from him. My temper and my agressiveness come from him. He encouraged me and gave me every opportunity to do succeed. He paid for all of my college, to which I am forever thankful. I am where I am today because of him. He was a great man. He was the only father that I knew. So when he passed its like I lost my grandpa and my dad. I loved him so much. I got my love of traveling and longhorn cattle from him. I learned a lot from him and I still can't believe that he is gone. I think even though its been over 3 months that I am still in shock because he isn't here. I miss talking to him on the phone and I miss his jokes and the silly things that he would say! He had a ton of them. I will never forget him and I will live everyday of my life like he would want me to. I made a promise to him after he died, I said that my kids and grandkids would hear all about him and how great a man he was. I miss him so much that sometimes it hurts.

I love you Grandpa and miss you so much everyday.
    Posted by christilea on 2009-05-08 09:51:22 | Rating: | Views: 18
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I am so sorry about your grandpa. It is hard, but you will get through it - I feel the same way about my dad. He passed in January last year after fighting his cancer for 3 years, and it was the hardest thing I have ever been through in my life, and still is. The hardest part for me is the fact that my dad will never meet my children, and while they will know how amazing he was, they will never be able to know for themselves - I wish my dad was still here, and I miss him terribly.
So I feel for you about losing someone you love so much!
Posted by  kerry2001  on 2009-05-08 09:57:22 
  
Good job Christi - it's always hard to lose someone close to you. Sounds like you are handling it the way he would want. You should be proud of yourself.
Take care.
Posted by  gstiner  on 2009-05-08 09:57:57 
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christilea
Norman, Oklahoma, United States

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