In short it’s over before it had a chance to grow. From her side she says she had doubts lingering in her mind and the spark wasn’t there. I could see an end coming from the 2nd date if that but I didn’t want to acknowledge it. I saw glaring compatibility issues and though we got on amazingly well I bypassed them. I admit I am a bit upset because I thought maybe things would work themselves out. Obviously it’s not going to happen now so I’m back at square one. History has repeated itself for me but still I rise. That’s the spirit I hear you say but …yeah. I give up on women. I’m not chasing you people I’m not turning gay either but I honestly give up. I’ve had more false starts than an Olympic sprint final. When love finds me I will be found but I’m not rushing at all. I’m a good man – I come out of this experience knowing that I can hold my own despite minimal activity in my years. I know that even though she said she wanted to stay friends it’ll be interesting to see how this pans out. Not that I haven’t stayed friends with one or so people I’ve connected with but I know people grow apart. 

Last month a preacher said God will only show you a glimpse of the future -seems that message keeps hitting me over and over at this moment of my life in a very practical sense. First the friendship and compatibility side of things and getting close and the intimacy  - I've had 4 people each have a section of what if I was looking for someone that I would want. I keep hearing from friends that the person that I settle with is going to be extra extra special but I'm a little sick of hearing it. Not that I disbelieve them for one moment but its waring a little thin. When love finds me I will be found as I keep saying so its just gonna have to hit me when I least expect it. In fact I didn't expect for anything to happen form the intial contact but it did even if it was stupidly short. My words have a way of coming to life at the worst times and I guess I remember saying the very least I wanted was some dating experience and I got that.  People say its hard to gauge when to approach the topic of moving from dating to a formalised relationship and that is true but I hope that when I do meet that person that it really and truly is not hard. I'd prefer things just happened but If they make that move then I'll be waiting.