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Life seems to be calmer lately..I don't have as much turbulent emotions as when I started writing this blog. Maybe it's because letting out everything that's been building up in me like a dam has helped me find the calm after the storm. But I know that another storm's on it's way so I'm going to try and savor this fleeting peace as much as I can.
Yesterday while I was petting my cat and listening to her soothing purrs, I was stunned with just how much at peace I was in that moment, with nothing to disrupt me. No angry thoughts, no feelings of loathing or hatred or self pity or violence.I was scared. I'm so used to having those thoughts buzzing in my mind, even as background sounds. I don't know how to be at peace because I can't remember the last time I was truly at peace. I'm always upset at one thing or another..last week I was really upset because a friend who I thought I was close with at university suddenly stopped contact with me, no matter what I did to try and reach out to her again. I tried e-mailing her but I got no reply and whenever I'd try to call she'd shut the phone in my face..I felt and still do feel, betrayed. I want to talk to her to see what's wrong and to clear up any misunderstandings but she's not giving me the chance.
I got some good news yesterday though, I might finally land my dream job..but I'm not going to raise my hopes too much because there's still alot I need to do to make sure that I won't be taken advantage of or something..but the one thing I'm glad of is that I'll finally start feeling useful by using my skills in a field that I love. So I'm really hoping that everything works out smoothly...
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Posted by chibi on 2007-09-02 00:29:30 | Rating: | Views: 123
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Just wondering how things went?
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Posted by Traveler
on 2007-09-03 13:42:03
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Chibi: I happy that you are finding some peace of mind. I was working in the yard today. Pulling weeds, raking, and then some. I thought about it in retrospect and realized just how peaceful I was. I attribute that peace to being in the moment and not caught up in wandering thoughts. My focus was on what I was doing and the things around me in the moment. Being in the moment is where we truly find peace of mind.
I will pray about that job you are hoping to land.
Blessed days to you,
Kim
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Posted by Jesusmyvision
on 2007-09-04 16:47:04
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you always have the cutest pictures :)
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Posted by Traveler
on 2007-09-06 11:29:23
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