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| Once a worrier...always a worrier...
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This song is for David, and for Stan. Now...usually I have to say, Celine Dion is not my cup of tea, but this song just...fits, and when you're in an emotional state, for some reason old Celine pushes all the buttons. The words are just...right.
I am...one lucky lady. I have an amazing man, a beautiful son and a lovely family. David in particular has been great today, cheering me up, chatting away to me and cuddling Stan. We've had a nice day, the three of us.
I talked to him about the things on my mind from yesterday and he was great, listened to me and was very supportive as he always is...man, he's amazing.
I have no doubt I will get through this and I, and the three of us will be fine. Until then, I'm gonna keep blogging, through the good and rough times and take on board the wonderful advice I have recieved. I really need to try not to think too far ahead, and also not dwell on stuff thats passed or out of my control.
The only thing of any major concern to me at the moment is that I am increasingly getting a bit over protective of Stanley. I mean...if David is holding him, it doesnt even phase me, or his mum, or my mum...but if anyone else does - doctors, nurses and such, I am borderline panicking, I dont trust anyone else with him, and I hate not having him in my sight. It freaks me out. This could be a problem, I mean...I need to trust other people with him, dont I? I cant always be the only one caring for him, or expect David to be...sometimes we will need time to ourselves. I think this comes from what I was saying about me going home before him, and I'm worried its going to become an issue if I am asked to go home before him. Hmm...needs some thought.
Anyway...I guess thats it for now.
I'd really like to thank everyone who commented on my blog yesterday, I really am feeling better today, but then the moods come and go so...we'll see and take it a day at a time. |
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Posted by chebtastic1 on 2008-05-25 13:40:47 | Rating: | Views: 201
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I'm so proud of you, really I am xxx I love you xxx
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Posted by geordiedreamer
on 2008-05-25 20:31:55
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Remeber it's very early days and your hormones and emotions will be all over the place. You're doing great!
Just try to take one day at a time. and enjoy these special moments together. This is the time when bonding is so precious, enjoy it as a family.
The time will come when you are ready to trust others a little more. I know what it is like to feel that your're the only one who knows what your child wants or needs, that feeling is our maternal instinct.
Don't forget to look after you too. I wish you much happiness.... :)
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Posted by Kaybee
on 2008-05-26 02:09:57
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Hey cheb...
Im really glad that you're keeping us updated and everything, but please, please, please get enough rest! Dont be up blogging when you're supposed to be sleeping!
Take care, and lots of love to all three of you!
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Posted by angelwings
on 2008-05-26 02:57:12
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Hey Cheb,
GUESS WHAT!!! ... YOUR Mummy instinct has kicked in ... of course you want to protect your SON!!! Of course you don't want to trust anybody else.
Because you know that you & David are the only ones aside from family who will ever love Stanley unconditionally. Others will care and learn to love him, they will take the utmost care, BUT nobody can do it like you & David can.
I remember freaking out at the thought of getting Miss 8 babysat within the first month of her birth. Finally after her father got out the steel pryers and removed me!!!! LOL I agreed to let her be "baby-sat" for 3 hours!!
I did NOT enjoy those 3 hours when we went to an IMAX movie.
I was constantly checking my mobile and watching my watch.
It took another 4 months before I left her with someone again.
Then the first time I had to go back to work I felt like I'd left my right arm at home...
I can relate to how you are feeling. But you are right eventually you need to get him used to other people looking after him - but not until you are completly comfortable.
Oh also it is a time of adjustment for you too ... he'll be great .. he's got you & David to learn off! :)
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Posted by EasyToSay
on 2008-05-26 06:01:30
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Thank you for your honesty...it shows the strength of you love for your child.
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Posted by semi_formal
on 2008-05-26 06:29:35
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Dave - thanks baby, for everything. xxx mwah xxx
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Posted by chebtastic1
on 2008-05-26 13:16:20
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You had it all
you almost lost a big part of it
you did not
now you worry that something must be going to happen to "drop the other shoe"
You are fine
If you were not worried that would be a problem
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Posted by whiteknight
on 2008-05-26 13:42:49
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I tried to post a comment on your other post, but Thoughts ate it...
Congratulations, Lady! I'm so excited for you!
You deserve every bit of happiness that is coming to you.
You're an inspiration, and I'm glad that I've "met" you.
It's perfectly normal to feel so worried at the beginning...your hormones are raging just now and I've heard post partum can be...intense. Just remember that you have lots of people who care for you, and there's no reason not to seek help.
<3
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Posted by wee_star
on 2008-05-27 02:07:37
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congratulations! Just so happy for you.
Don't worry, most of us feel like that when other people hold our babies.
It takes a bit of getting used to, especially if you've got a very tiny baby as they look so fragile... took me until about 10 weeks to accept his aunts and uncles, health visitors etc. weren't going to drop him!
Next hurdle once you've been home a few weeks is childcare, going out without him, even for a few hours.
in the meantime I wish you decent sleep, easy feeding and tolerable nappies!
Take care
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Posted by rose22
on 2008-05-27 15:42:25
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Thank you for your kind words on my blog... now let me return them.
You child as small and as helpless as it is, came from you. The people you have in your life that you have found shelter in, your man, you mom, his mom are still a shelter in your mind for the child. But strangers like the doc and the nurses, make your skin prickle, that is all natural. For a while you will be ever so carefull with the child, when it wimpers you will jump, when it coughs you will hold your breath... but in time you will learn that baby much like you know your self, you will know what cry is an ut oh cry and what cry is a mommy I really need you cry. You will find in your self the best book you can ever have on children... its your motherly instinct... powered by your love. All there fears you have are normal, its your way of wanting to protect something that can not protect it's self.
do you remember learning to drive? you had both hands on the wheel and your palms were sweaty? scared to back up and hated the busy streets? but now you got your phone up to one ear and driving with the other while changing the radio station without even a second thought, as you wip in and out of traffic. Having children is kinda like that, untill you get to know your child you are ever so carefull and you go to great lengths to make sure everything is safe. Once you learn your child you will be able to relax a little. I am not sure if that helps. But just remember Love is one of the few things you can not buy that you can never get enough of... and there are not many forces on earth that can compete with the love that is between a mother and a child.
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Posted by DouglasMB
on 2008-05-28 15:21:16
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