| Never Knew Dreams Could Be So Powerful |
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Okay...just a quickie but I gotta get this out before I forget it...for some reason I don't wanna, even though it hurt so bad.
I went for a nap and just woke up in floods of tears over possibly the most...arrgghh I dont even know what the word is...I guess powerful will do for now...dream I ever had.
Okay, so as I've said my dad died seven years ago. Seven years and 20 days ago to be precise.
I've dreampt of him many times, practically every night for the first few weeks and months after he went. His loss hit me very hard, because I found him dead, and because he was much more than my dad...he was my best friend.
Anyhoo...the dream I had this evening was so weird because it was so real. I cant remember much of it, as its already dwindling, but the upshot of it is...we were all together as a family - me, mum, my sister and David...and my dad was there too. I introduced him to David, and they hit it off right away. My dad kept putting his hand on my belly (the baby is really showing now) and smiling, shaking his head as if to say 'I cant belive my baby is having a baby' I was so happy to see him, I just wanted to hug him, and never let go...and I did hug him. And I could feel him and smell him and it was wonderful. I asked him how come he was there, he was dead...he said there'd been some mistake, and not to worry, he was back now.
We all revelled in having him back. We had a party, it was a summers evening and we sat in the garden until it got dark, drinking and laughing and eating burgers. Then we all went to bed.
The next morning my mum told me he had passed away in the night and this time he wouldnt be able to come back.
I know it was just a dream, but man it broke my heart...all the feelings I had when he first died came flooding back and now I feel so sad.
How can something as simple as a dream hit so deep? And where the hell did this one come from?
It's gradually fading, but has left me with a dull ache, and empty feeling I just cant shake off.
Man, my emotions are all over the place right now.
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