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| Is It Weird I'm Not Jealous??
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David's best friend lives literally a hundred yards down the road from him. Often when I ring him he is there. He spent New Years Eve there and slept over.
He is 44 and his best friend is 33. She is a single mother of one. I know her, I text her all the time and consider her my friend now too.
Dave's previous girlfriend had a real problem with her, and all but insisted he have nothing to do with her. In the past he did have a sort of one night stand with her (they slept together) but nothing came of it and they stayed good friends. The thing is she has told me that whereas she thinks the world of him (I can't believe anyone wouldnt, he's such a sweet guy) she just doesn't see him 'like that.'
She's not a 'touchy feely' kinda gal, in that she doesn't like alot of kisses and cuddles, feels a bit smothered by it. Dave, like me, loves all that. When we are together we are very touchy feely and I can't get enough of it. If we walk down the street we are holding hands, if we are standing together, we are hugging, if we are slouched on the sofa watching TV, nine time out of ten his arm will be over my shoulders and my hand will be settled on his belly, gently stroking him. We kiss slowly, openly regardless of where we are. She's just not like that, is not a tactile person.
Until I met David I thought I was a little odd to be so tactile and it was wonderful to meet someone who is just like me. I love him and I like to show it.
On New Years Eve he slept over at her house and in her bed, top to toe. I know this because he told me. He wasn't overly drunk and he knows nothing happened. Way I see it, he didn't have to tell me anything.
I know there are people out there now thinking that he probably slept with her but the thought has never crossed my mind. I know he didn't. I think its very synical to assume he did. We are happy together and besotted with each other and if you knew him, you'd understand.
We had this conversation today at college about whether men and women can be 'just friends', and I used David and his friend as an example that they can. No one was mean about it, because these are my friends but they all admitted that they would be a little uncomfortable with them being friends.
Thing is...the more I thought about it, the more I realised that would be the way anyone who knew me would expect me to feel, I used to be so insecure. But it has never entered my mind.
So what do people think? It is weird that I'm not jealous? That I would stake my life on knowing that nothing is going on with them, that it never even crosses my mind? Or does it just mean (as I think) that I have simply found the right man for me, who I love and trust, and who loves and trusts me?
Man, I think too much...lol x
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Posted by chebtastic1 on 2008-02-01 12:59:23 | Rating: | Views: 92
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If you're no longer insecure, and you're very very sure of your place in his world, I see no reason to be jealous or weary of it.
My personality, however, is very insecure, and I would have a serious problem with such things as sharing a bed, regardless of how they managed it. But that's me, :).
I think it helps that you have become friends with this friend of his, because in general, women will think harder about betraying a friend than they will their friends' girlfriend. Does that make sense? It did in my head, lol.
I think you're fine, and shouldn't worry. If he made up stories, or lied, or didn't take your calls all the time, that would be cause for concern. But being totally open? I'd trust that.
Stop thinking so much.
Hope you're doing well, otherwise.
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Posted by wee_star
on 2008-02-01 17:52:36
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Thank you, lol. Yes, that made perfect sense. It hasn't bothered me as such because the thought hadn't crossed my mind at all until someone said it to me, and even then I haven't even considered it to be remotely a problem.
I do trust him, a thousand percent. After all...if he didnt want to be with me...he wouldn't be. That's how I see it. He sees me once every 7 to 8 weeks, it would be very easy for him to finish it.
And yes, I definitely DO think too much...lol x
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Posted by chebtastic1
on 2008-02-01 18:13:47
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When you're okay in your skin and no longer worried about whether or not they are cheating, you've grown. You are wise beyond your years! Enjoy your soul mate, your time together and his friend. Peace xxx
p.s. my best friends live in Surrey and in London! Love your part of the world.
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Posted by Ellie2008
on 2008-02-01 20:47:57
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When your heart and soul say "all is well" then it is. My best friend is a man who used to be my lover. When he moved 2,000 miles away it wasn't possible to continue our love affair. We speak often by phone and our relationship has blossomed into a beautiful friendship. He comes to me with his girlfriend problems and I come to him with guy problems. We both want each other to be happy.
You are exactly like me in the area of affection ... the more the better. Nice to know there are men out there who like that as well.
Peace
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Posted by ColoradoDreamin
on 2008-02-02 00:57:50
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