Thoughts.com Blogs - If I had Known

A year ago I had no idea. I knew I loved him...I had no idea how much. I loved what he stood for, how he made me feel about myself. I loved that if I had a lousy day, he could make me laugh. I loved that if I had gotten an A for an assignment at college, he would tell me I did good, he was proud of me.

I hid him from everyone...no one knew. I loved this man, this reason for the return of my smile...but I couldn't tell anyone.

377 days ago, literally exactly to the minute, I met him face to face. I was supposed to meet him off the train, but I was a little late. I got waylayed in a wine shop - all I wanted was a bottle of white, but the guy in the shop wanted to give me a review of all the wines they sold.
As a result I was robbed of the romantic 'running across the platform into his arms' meeting I had hoped for.
It didnt matter.

I got to outside the station and stood on the street, frozen on the spot. I took a deep breath, turned around, looking down at the floor, and this pair of feet came into view.

I looked up this giant frame of a man, and theres a face I recognise, looking at me through sunglasses, smiling his cheeky smile. So I'm standing there, craning my neck to get a look at this man, this gorgeous man, and desperatly trying to think of something to say. Before I could, he just pulled me in and held me. We stood like that for ages and from there on in there was never an awkward moment. We walked to the hotel hand in hand, chatting away like we had always been together.

If I had known then that a year later he would have turned my whole life around...I would have found something to say, I would have thanked him.
For supporting me through college, giving me the confidence to apply for university, for making me happy on the times we were able to spend together, for making me feel special, like I mattered to someone, for making me feel like a woman, for giving me the gift of a child, and a future I can look forward to, and for loving me like I need to be loved.

I am in bewildered awe of this man, he has turned my life around. I just cant believe where he has brought me, how he has turned everything around. All of my dreams are coming true and it is all because of him.

A year ago I was lonely and afraid and trapped. Now I am free, loved, in love, wanted and needed, I am fulfilled.

I am happy.
Thank you darling.

Cheb xxx