| chebtastic1's Blog Comments |
| Posted in
Barack Obama For President on 2008-01-31 19:19:24 |
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agreed!! xxx
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| Posted in
Do Soul Mates Really Exist? on 2008-01-31 17:28:10 |
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I love this post...and I absolutely agree. I too have found my soulmate and its just the most indescribable feeling. I have like a million faults (don't we all), but he loves me anyway, unconditionally. I feel exactly the same about him. He lives 260 miles away and yet he knows when I am down and will ring me or drop me a text to tell me to cheer up, he loves me. I always say we are not two people, but two halves of the same person, that's how I'd describe a soulmate. This post made me think of my man and I got so emotional I just had to ring him and tell him I love him! Lol
Thank you for this post...I'm so glad you are with yours too, and I wish this feeling for everyone.
'Love is not seeing the perfect person...it is seeing an imperfect person perfectly...'
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| Posted in
WHAT WOULD YOU DO? on 2008-01-31 16:59:27 |
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Caps or not...its a beautiful post. Thanks for sharing xxx I don't think if I could go back I would change very much because I have come to believe tough times exist to make us stronger and regrets exist so we learn from them and don't make the same mistakes again.
To me, part of being a good person is knowing what you did well, what you could have done better and as long as you can recognise that, then all is good within you.
Peace to you xxx
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| Posted in
About Me: on 2008-01-31 16:07:35 |
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1. I'm 26, almost 27 years old
2. I'm a mature student (though I use the term loosely!)
3. I used to be blonde, but recently dyed my hair brown
4. I am off to University in Newcastle Upon Tyne in September
5. I am separated from my husband, and head over heels in love with another man (long story)
6. My favourite subject is Sociology, its one of the subjects I'm studying now and the one I will be studying at Uni
7. I stopped smoking 17 days ago
8. I love 80's music
9. I have one sister, older than me
10. I love a debate and can talk for hours if no one stops me...
Thats it in a nutshell I guess...! xxx
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| Posted in
Does Patriarchy still exists? on 2008-01-31 13:47:26 |
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Jeez that was long...sorry! x
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| Posted in
Does Patriarchy still exists? on 2008-01-31 13:46:58 |
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I think patriarchy does still exist. I don't support feminist theory that men are to blame, or that men deliberatly suppress women (at least, not all men). But yes...this is largely still a mans world.
Like you said...the evidence for this is in the way Western society functions. Our laws are passed largely by men (in the UK this is particularly true), many religions actively suppress women - consider the struggle for women to become priests for example...this is still considered unacceptable to many (men), Catholisism condemning abortions and contraception (taking away a womans choice), women in the UK still do not earn as much as men in many professions (although we have the Equal Pay Act), often being overlooked for promotion because they are seen as a liability (because they might suddenly choose to have a baby and need time off).
So yeah...I think patriarchy definitely still exists, though women have come a long way.
I just don't feel that feminism particularly helps the women's cause. The theory states that women should have choice, yet is critical of those who chose not to work and chose to be wives and mothers. Is there still not a general idea that women who are in their 40's and 50's who are not married or don't have kids are slightly odd? Of course, they're not, but its still percieved as unusal.
The reason for this, I believe, is socialisation and social control. It begins from the day we are born. We are influenced by everyone and everything around us. You buy toys for kids and you wouldnt buy a truck for a girl and a doll for a boy. You learn how to be a boy and how to be a girl and act accordingly. This can be obvious and it can be subtle but it still exists.
One myth I don't personally buy into is the so-called 'mothering instinct' - if we have these feelings of wishing to be a mum, its becuase society tells us we should feel that way. Of course, if we have children we love them, because they are a part of us, but anymore than the father? I don't think so. There is nothing that a mother can do for her baby that a man cannot, except breastfeed.
I don't think things will be equal until consideration is taken into individual experiences and other factors, such as race, ethnicity, and class - the experiences of a suppressed black woman will be different to the experiences of a suppressed white woman, Western women find the concept of veiling Muslim women oppressive, yet many Muslim women speak of wearing a veil as liberating, being able to go out in public and maintain dignity and feel safe from prying eyes. It takes away the superficial habit of judging by appearance. A working class woman from a relatively poverty-striken area of London will find life very different to a woman living in a five-bed apartment in Kensington.
Until all these other issues are considered, patriacrchy will always exist.
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| Posted in
Superbowl Sunday on 2008-01-31 12:42:42 |
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Patriots, no doubt. They rule!!! hehe x
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confidence on 2008-01-31 05:20:41 |
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ColoradoDreamin - thank you. Everytime I start to question or doubt what I am saying, you always leave a comment that restores my confidence and sets me back on the right track.
I can't tell you what that means to me, so from the bottom of my heart...thank you. Peace x
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| Posted in
Porn so good...LOL on 2008-01-30 20:29:07 |
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I understand where you're coming from, so don't worry. I have at times questioned my own sexuality, because at times I have found myself drawn to women. I don't know if its about being attracted to them, (as well as men) or just feeling a connection, from one woman to another...now I'm not making sense...!
My college tutor is a lesbian, but she has had relationships with men in the past and does not accept the label of being lesbian. She made a good point, and said something I've never forgotten. We don't need to label ourselves, or be labelled - be it as bi, gay or straight. What if its not about that? What if its just about falling in love, and the gender of the person you love is irrelevant? That really got me thinking.
It seems like men have more control because the majority of societies are still very patriarchal - things are not equal yet, but we are getting there! All men are different too, as are all women.
Maybe we need to place less emphasis on gender, and just surround ourselves with good people, people we love and who love us...whether at the time that be a man or a woman...
Hope at least some of that made sense!
xxxx
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| Posted in
Night of a Thousand Farts on 2008-01-30 19:47:37 |
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Haha...yeah. Just watch out for his wife...scary lady. The only trouble with us and our football is that we're no good at it. Sportwise, as a nation..we are very good...at coming second.
I made a promise to myself to explore American football further...if for no other reason, then because it seems a damn sight more exciting than our football. You guys take to everything in style! :-) xxx
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| Posted in
I might be a Satanist?! on 2008-01-30 19:40:34 |
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gsh2096 - my comment wasnt a personal attack on you or anyone else for that matter and was, knowing how inarticulate I can be, badly written. I have recieved alot of judegment and condemnation recently on this blog site (mostly via mail and not comments) based on the person's beliefs and not mine. If I have offended, I apologise genuinely. Because I can see I did the exact same thing.
I do think the world is a beautiful place, but I agree the people in it are not necessarily beautiful. I don't live in a bubble where I am oblivious to the worlds troubles. I think we just look at things differently, because I have not given up yet. I still believe in people, that we can turn things around. Maybe thats blind optimism, but its what I believe. If I agree to leave you to your beliefs, whilst thinking before writing sweeping statements in the future, will you agree to leave me to my thoughts and beliefs and not laugh them off? That to me seems like a good idea. I too love a good debate but I don't trust myself to articulate myself adequatly and do myself justice - its a skill I need to work on!
Thank you though...for challenging me and making me think again. Thats always a good thing. I appreciate it.
Oh and apologies to crystaldroddy, for hijacking your page! xxx
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| Posted in
what is "important"? on 2008-01-30 18:57:15 |
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I always say that race, gender etc are what you are, not who you are...who you are is like you said, your emotional characteristics, the things that make you unique and special.
Thanks for posting this xxx
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| Posted in
I might be a Satanist?! on 2008-01-30 16:28:01 |
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Thank you for this post.
I hold true to no particular faith and I like to keep my mind open. It has certainly made me realise that all my misconceptions about Satanism were totally unfounded.
What is it about Christianity that makes its followers so defensive? I know I will get a barrage of critisism for this, but I decided recently to just say what I think. How arrogant is it to assume that we are wrong and everyone who is Christian is right?
I also agree that morality is relative to the people and the context.
We are all individuals and our perceptions of the world are different. Thats what makes it such a beautiful place to live in.
I don't think I would want to become a satanist, mostly because as I said, I don't want to be part of any set system of beliefs, I just want to live my life.
Oh and it doesn't say that theres anything wrong with people being equal, or that they shouldn't be equal, it just says to dispell the myth that we are all equal, cause lets face it...we're not. If we were...there wouldnt be any condemnation of anyone who dares to suggest an alternative, as is present on this page.
This is a refreshing post, and I appreciate it being put here.
Thank you xxx
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| Posted in
Why I Am Not Religious (and never will be) on 2008-01-30 16:09:55 |
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thank you so much...happy face now :-)) xxxx
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| Posted in
I'm not sure if i'm sane... I am always lying on 2008-01-30 14:07:31 |
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Don't worry...you're completely sane. I was like that too, and I think everyone is a little, but most don't have the courage to admit it!
For a long time I was a different person to different people, and I think its mostly done to please others.
As for now...well, I'm coming to accept that I'm fine as I am, so I've let alot of those people living within me go, in favour of the 'original me'
So long as you're a good person, what does it matter if you're normal? Come to think of it...what's normal anyway? haha xxx :-) xxx
Don't worry...just enjoy being 'you'
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| Posted in
Hey ! on 2008-01-30 04:17:38 |
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Welcome to Thoughts.com...have fun!!!! xxx
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| Posted in
confidence on 2008-01-30 04:07:15 |
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Thank you faithcaper!
I fully intend to go for it ! Happy face!! :-) xxxxxxx
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| Posted in
confidence on 2008-01-30 04:05:42 |
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Alot of people ask me why I stayed with my husband as long as I did, before I met David.
Partly I was scared of being alone. But also for a long time I wanted a baby so bad it was all I could think about, literally, 24/7. I knew the chances of me conceiving were small, but I also knew that chance was reduced to nil if I left my marriage and that it would be a long time before I met someone else (if I ever did) by which time it was too late.
I have sort of calmed down alot on the baby front, because for me it was an emotional hole inside me that made it such an issue, and I have now filled that void with the love from David (and of David).
I just understood how you were feeling. Your situation is different to mine, and I have a feeling fate will let it happen to you, but as with all wonderful things in this life...just when you least expect it.
Thank you for your comments too xxx :-) xxx
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| Posted in
a magical journey on 2008-01-30 03:40:13 |
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I find this post inspiring. It reminded me of my mum, who also had to learn to do all the little things my dad had done for nearly 30 years when he passed away very suddenly seven years ago.
I am so proud of her, and though I don't know you, I'm proud of you too.
My mum once said to me, there are two routes to go down when you are widdowed - you give up on life, in which case you might as well have died too, or you can get on with your life, embracing it and in doing so honour their memory.
I wish you only the very best of health and happiness. xxx
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Captivity and Tears on 2008-01-29 18:10:24 |
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Thats beautiful. I wish you both the very best. Peace and love to you xxx
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| Posted in
Can you handle the truth? on 2008-01-29 17:19:24 |
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I agree completely, which might surprise anyone who's read my blog. But I know I would have found happiness alot sooner than I did, if I had been more honest with the people around me, and most importantly...with myself. xxx
Thank you xxx
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| Posted in
Uncomfotable Love is Real Love on 2008-01-29 16:52:36 |
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I completely agree. You have such a wonderful way of expressing love that I totally can relate to. Comfortable can often lead to apathy...I think it's good to always be a little uncomfortable and to be aware that waht you have cannot be taken for granted. Love is hungry and must always be fed and worked on, or it simply fades away. I look on it as a work in progress, ever growing and changing...and that is, I think, the best way to keep that butterflies feeling going.
Thank you for another lovely post :-) xxx
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| Posted in
Thoughts On Thoughts on 2008-01-29 16:23:08 |
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I really enjoy both your blogs and your comments. Unlike alot they are supportive and constructive and I can tell without meeting you that you have a good heart.
I'm glad you're enjoying the experience, it has lost some of its sparkle for me recently but I hope to restore the feelings I got when I first blogged on here and want to thank you for support that I have recieved from you.
There is nothing like a simple but nice comment to make someones day. If only there were more like you!
Peace to you also. xxx
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| Posted in
LADIES, (AND GENTS) DON'T APOLOGIZE!! on 2008-01-29 11:26:44 |
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A lovely post...I am one of those irritating people who is forever saying sorry, even when I know something is not my fault! But I'm working on it! If you don't mind, I might write those words down and put them on the wall in my bedroom so I read them everyday before I leave the house.
Inspiring, thank you :-) xxx
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| Posted in
Why Does the Caged Bird Sing? on 2008-01-29 08:36:25 |
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A beautiful post, of a beautiful verse from a truly talented lady. One of my all time favourites. Thanks for posting :-) xxx
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| Posted in
What do you think? on 2008-01-28 19:05:43 |
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Being in the UK, I like another type of football...that said, my fella lives in Newcastle (UK) and he's been a mad Patriots fan for 25 years...so much so he and 7 of his friends are having 'Superbowl' weekend this weekend. The game doesnt start til 11pm over here but he'll not miss a second! Doubt anyone could convince him they won't win, but as with any sport I guess...you never know...! xxx
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| Posted in
19 Ways to maintain your Insanity on 2008-01-28 19:02:14 |
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hehehehhehehehhehehehe....I like. Thanks for making me giggle xxx
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| Posted in
Kids today! on 2008-01-28 14:17:50 |
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God, I didn't realise how long that was until I'd submitted it...might copy and paste it, has the makings of a good essay...haha x sorry! x
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| Posted in
Kids today! on 2008-01-28 14:16:35 |
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I have a slightly controversial view on this, that I raised in my sociology class and got shot down for...waiting for the same thing to happen here...lol
I think alot of the problem is down to the fact that there was a massive boom in teenage pregnancies in the 90's. Kids having kids...not grown up enough to teach their children right from wrong, and so disillusioned to have lost their freedom they dont care what their kids get up to. I want to make it clear I'm not condemning ALL young parents, for the majority it is the making of them and that's wonderful. Just a select few.
Also there seems to be a huge problem with respect. We always knew the limits at school and at home and we pushed them...but we didnt over step them. Now they just get trampled over.
Because the law is firmly on the side of the kid. They can say they were raped by a teacher, pluck it out of thin air...if they are found to be lying...the teachers career is in ruins whilst they get away with wreaking havoc scot free.
I don't agree with corporal punishment but boundaries need to be re-installed and consequences need to be set and adhered to when they are crossed.
Parents need to take more notice and be aware of their kids, where they are and what they are doing, and take some responisbility for their actions, because they are the child's first teacher, before school even starts.
It's not a class opinion, I consider myself working class. My sister and I didn't awlays get what we wanted growing up but we always got what we needed. We were loved and we were happy and we never got into trouble on the scale you hear about today.
It's scary how kids just aren't able (or don't want) to just be kids anymore. They just seem so unhappy.
As for education...even when I left school eleven years ago...they catergorised us into those that would do well in GCSE's, and those who wouldn't. And they concentrated all thier effort and resources on...those that WOULD. And why? Two words...league tables. The Government has turned children into figures and the result is pressure on teachers, who then lose heart...and this reflects in their teaching which fails to inpsire and engage the students.
Thus you get the lethargic youth you see before you today.
Of course...this doesn't apply to ALL the youth of today...but I'd say the majority, who just need more support, more faith and more support...and most importantly...someone to inspire them.
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| Posted in
Abortion...How can you murder YOUR baby? on 2008-01-28 13:53:24 |
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Hope I haven't come across as rude...it's a touchy subject and I tend to get kinda carried away...don't take it personal!
Be thankful every day you have two children...it truly is a gift
xxx peace xxx
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| Posted in
Abortion...How can you murder YOUR baby? on 2008-01-28 13:51:53 |
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I understand your frustration, I do. I will probably never have children without alot of help. That said...you can't (no one can) comment unless you have lived through every single scenario you just mentioned.
I used to be completely anti-abortion, because it breaks my heart to think of a baby I could be loving effectively going to waste...dying needlessly. I used to say under no cicumstances could it ever be right to have an abortion.
But then I had to ask myself...how do I know what it feels like, to be in a situation where abortion seems like the only answer? Could I be strong enough to carry a baby that I had been forced to carry because a rapist put it there? To live with a permanent reminder of being raped? Could I then have the inner strength to love that baby unconditonally?
I think I personally could do that, because as you rightfully said...it's not the baby's fault. But the fact is I don't KNOW that I could...because its never happened to me.
Also...what about abortions that are necessary because the mother's life is in danger? What bout carrying twins and being told you will lose them both unless you abort one?
It's so complex, that I no longer believe wholeheartedly that abortions are wrong...it's rarely done because its the easy option, and its something women have to live with forever.
I think murder is a very strong word to use as it implies a sense of malice and 'non-caring' and I can't imagine very many women go through abortions thinking this way.
I imagine it to be the hardest decision a woman can ever make.
But as I said...it's never happened to me...so I don't know.
I do understand why you wrote this though, I just wish there were a little more compassion in this world, and a little less judgement.
For every woman who has an abortion simply because its the easiest thing to do...I'm sure there must be a million women who agonise over the decision and I would always offer support and help before condemnation.
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| Posted in
curvy vs. skinny on 2008-01-28 13:16:53 |
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They must find two bits of random information and stick them together on a graph or something!
I don't think it has anything to do with being curvy or skinny. That said, I have always been on the curvy side and as a kid I was so shy I just hid behind books and stuff, so I guess that's why I'm geared towards study more than say, my skinny sister, who at the same time was confident and out going (literally, she was never home!). But that's just us...hehe.
But nah...smart kids are smart first because they have found something (it's usually a specific subject) they love, they've worked hard, and have supportive parents (be that one or both parents).
I agree with your post. We are what we are and it has nothing to do with how we look. It comes from within. xxx
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| Posted in
How Do You Know You've Found 'The One?' on 2008-01-28 03:38:49 |
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Thank you. Just a year ago, no one was more sceptical than me, about anything really. But the right person really does open your eyes. xxx
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| Posted in
hello my name is on 2008-01-27 03:49:33 |
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As a Sociology student, with an absolute passion for the subject I totally embrace your ideas on this, 100%. I love this subject because it isn't something you are taught, Sociology is a praxise, you LIVE it. It has completely opened my mind.
At the beginning of the academic year my tutor asked me who I was, and I replied with 'I'm Joanne' and she said 'how do you know that?' making the point that you only know what you are told. That's the name people use to communicate with me. Its my name, not who I am. I totally understood and when she asked me the same question last week, I answered with 'I am whatever and whoever I chose to be.'
I totally agree with labelling theory - you can't categorise people off, and you shouldn't.
People will always attach labels, but it is up to the individual to say 'No, I don't wanna live under your restrictions.'
So I agree with you...we are always going to p*** someone off, so we might as well live our lives how we chose to, in freedom of ourselves, and reject labels. After all, we only get one chance. Might as well be happy.
Thank you for this post xxx
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| Posted in
A bit more about me... on 2008-01-26 09:56:17 |
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Hi again!
All I really wanted to say was good luck. You sound like a lovely person who would make an exceptional mum.
I guess it's been about seven years since I had serious thoughts about really wanting to be a mum, and I'm still not but I'm not trying to scare you!
I've come to believe that things that are meant to happen, do so...just at the right moment. I don't think that right moment has ever arrived for me.
I've just split with my husband and it wasn't an especially great marriage, however hard we tried. I wanted a baby so I would have that unconditional love in my life. I know I would make a great mum and I still believe if it is supposed to happen for me, it will when the time is right.
I think your time will come and I hope so...too many children are born into this world unwanted, while those who want them always seem to struggle.
Learning to relax and leave something to fate (or God, depending on your beliefs) is hard but if you can manage it, everything will fall into place and your dreams will come true.
I really do wish you the very best of luck, and keep us posted!
xxx
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| Posted in
Obsessed... on 2008-01-24 08:27:29 |
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I've been where you are and know exactly how you feel. It's patronising to be told you're still young and there's still time, and it just makes you want it even more.
Often the people trying to tell you how to feel already have children.
Never mind how much time there is, if you're ready, you're ready.
All I will say is this. Be sure you want it for the right reasons, for good reasons. For me I wanted a baby to have someone I knew would love me unconditionally. If your reasons are good, and your husband wants it too, then fate will take care of the rest.
Be warned though...stress makes it even harder to concieve, and many women find that once they let go of the urgent urgency of needing to have a baby...lo and behold they find they are pregnant.
Good luck! xxx
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| Posted in
Heath Ledger Died?? on 2008-01-22 17:45:51 |
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Its on the news here too...seeems he may have overdosed. It's a dreadful shame, he was only 28.
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| Posted in
Timmy Love on 2008-01-22 11:22:11 |
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Awe...your post touched me deeply.
We had to have my mums dog put to sleep in December of 2001, just six months after my dad had passed away.
It's an agonising choice to make, but sometimes you really have to be cruel to be kind and it is selfish to want to keep them alive for our sakes.
My mum couldn't go in there, her emotions were just too raw, so I had to. The worst thing was, she appeared to be fine, but she had a tumor in her stomach, she was riddled with it and there was nothing in her future but pain and misery.
I know I will never forget holding her in my arms as she slipped away, it broke my heart.
I have rescue dogs myself now and they are the only type I would ever have.
Its hard for anyone who doesn't have pets to understand the impact they have on your life, I think its because they love you unconditionally and rarely do people do that.
Keep up your good work, I think its just wonderful. xxx
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| Posted in
My Perfect Day on 2008-01-21 17:28:01 |
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Thank you, I couldn't agree more. Peace and Love to you xxx
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For Cheblanco49 on 2008-01-21 17:25:06 |
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Thanks for your support and for introducing me to the blogs of DifficultSoul, she seems to be along the same mindset as me on so many things, but is much more articulate!
Thank you and peace and love to you too! xxx
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| Posted in
Punishment or Reform? on 2008-01-21 17:20:57 |
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Personally I don't think any of those suggestions would be much use. I tend to think that the Government (and society as a whole) should be looking at prevention rather than cure - that is to say, finding out WHY people are offending and doing something about that, because until we understand why something occurs, how can we expect to be able to deal with it?
As a Criminology/Sociology student this is a debate thats raged on with us recently. Certainly theres alot of mixed opinion. The trouble for me has always been that there is no consistency with the outcomes of committing a crime, but then if there was...what consideration does this take to individual reasons for committing the crime? I'm firmly against the death pentalty, however I think there needs to be reform of laws and sentencing, to reflect the different society we live in today.
Life should mean life, there should be set sentences that if the jury finds the offender guilty the judge HAS to impose.
In the Middle Ages they used public humiliation as a deterrent to the offender and other potential offenders - I am of the mindset that they ought to bring that back - if some kid thinks its funny to chuck bricks through someones window, bung em in the stocks in the town centre and have people chuck rotten tomatoes at them and see if they find that funny!
Anyways...my thoughts on this are always changing and I liked your post...alot of very good points and it is true - you get nothing in this country for being a decent, law-abiding citizen, but if you offend...everything your heart desires is offered on a plate. What a system.
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| Posted in
Who Did the New England Patriots Play Tonight? on 2008-01-20 19:25:09 |
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Hehe...thanks. As I understand it from my significant other they won tonight...21-12. He's over the moon, hehe.
I guess its surprising to most that he comes from Newcastle, England and supports the Pats and he doesn't tell most American's he meets cause he believes they will think he is a 'glory supporter' (over here we call it the 'Manchester United effect'), but he's backed them for 25 years. I am banned from calling/texting/instant messaging him on 3rd Feb, cause he and eight of his mates are settling in for the Superbowl. Eight men, eight pizzas (extra chillies), 4 cases of beer...eww, is all I can say!
Oh yeah, and Go Pats! I should really find out more, they sound like an awesome team....
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| Posted in
Getting Ready on 2008-01-20 18:41:36 |
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Hahahahahaha...you are really funny, and have a great take on life, though I suspect you have ben told this before. I will check out your column, asap xxx
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| Posted in
Your Soulmate on 2008-01-20 18:10:17 |
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I agree with the comment about marriage...the step shouldn't be taken unless you are sure. I made that mistake and it has caused me unnecessary heartache, and my husband too.
Instinct is crucial and to ignore instinct is fatal. Your head can sometimes let you down but your heart never does. My head told me I would come to love my husband more when we were married...it let me down. In contrast my heart tells me the new man in my life is my soulmate and I trust in that completely.
Thank you for a lovely post that got me thinking.
I leave you with this thought - you come to love not by seeing the perfect person...but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly. And when true love hits you...you just know its right, when you don't even have to question how you feel at all.
Peace and love xxx :-)
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| Posted in
My dogs on 2008-01-20 18:03:26 |
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Dogs are awesome...they know when you are happy, they know when you are sad and they each have their own personalities. Best of all...they will never let you down! :-)
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| Posted in
Cheating on 2008-01-20 17:25:49 |
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As I started reading your post, I was thinking...'Wow, this sounds a bit like my situation.'
However, as I got further into it I was absolutely stunned to realise that we are (or rather were) in exactly the same situation. It's a tough place to be (if you read my very first blog you will see just how similar our situations are).
I had alot of people saying I should leave my husband, and I knew I should, however it isn't as easy to do as it is to say.
I did leave him, last week, for another man and it was extremely hard but a choice I know I will not regret. I'm not going to say you should leave your wife, because only you know if that's the right move for you, I am only going to say that I hope also that you make a decision one way or another soon and find your peace and happiness - I have found from my experience that agonising over what to do, was far more torturous than actually going through with the choice to leave.
And now, finally, I am truly happy.
All the best :-) xxx
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| Posted in
What happened to Price Charming on 2008-01-20 17:10:57 |
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He's out there somewhere! I'm a lucky one...I found mine. My only regret is I wish I had found him sooner than I did, but regardless, he is in my life now and when you find yours it will be so wonderful. i can't put into words how wonderful...its something you have to find out for yourself. Just keep your eyes open and don't settle for second best, ever. xxx :-)
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| Posted in
Little wonders and regrets on 2008-01-20 14:06:12 |
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My dad used to say..."Better to do and regret, then regret not doing" and I think that is so true and i try to live by it, at least I am learning to. I also try to hold onto anything and everything, every little moment that means alot to me...it's these moments that mean the most in life. When you look back and smile. I have found that the most special moments in my life have been the ones that followed tough times...those moments that make you think...actually, life is good. And yet we always forget that which we most want to remember, does anyone else think that? Anyhow...I'm rambling again now!! A very insightful blog. Thank you :-)
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| Posted in
My first blog! on 2008-01-20 13:12:07 |
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Welcome to Thoughts.com. I hope you find all which you seek and have a good time here. :-) xxx
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| Posted in
Newbie... on 2008-01-20 12:56:51 |
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congrats indeed...and welcome to thoughts.com! Have fun! xxx
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| Posted in
Here I am at 47 on 2008-01-20 12:44:04 |
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Oh yeah...and happy birthday! xxx
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| Posted in
Here I am at 47 on 2008-01-20 12:43:38 |
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Haha...I wish I had your courage...i'd have just moved then kicked myself for it afterwards! I too, attract nutters...sigh...
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| Posted in
My Boyfriend Is Bagpuss.... on 2008-01-20 12:08:55 |
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Oh believe me, I had to look deep within myself before I made any of the choices I made, lucky for me I don't have to live up to your morals, just my own. It matters little to me what you think, only what my family think, what David thinks and what my husband thinks (who, by the way, I am now separated from). Being religious doesn't make you morally superior. I commend you for being in a happy, stable marriage and wish you well, but it was not to be for me. I gave it a go but my husband is far from blameless. Would you prefer I had stayed in a marriage where my husband thought it ok to hit me, drag me down to an emotional level where I end up thinking I'm good for nothing, than find happiness? Sometimes marriages fail...I refuse to feel guilty about that anymore because if you had bothered to read any of my earlier blogs you would know the emotional turmoil I was going through. Of course I knew what I was doing was wrong - that's why I left. But neither you, nor anyone else, has a clue how it felt, and so you cannot pass judegment on me. Looking at my life and rethinking things is exactly what I had to do...and now its done and I have no regrets.
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| Posted in
MY MOTHER on 2008-01-20 11:37:33 |
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That is beautiful. I lost my father seven years ago in March when I was nineteen. I've always enjoyed and been good at writing and so badly wanted to write something for him when he passed but I just couldn't find the words...I think it's wonderful that you could and a lovely tribute. Thank you for posting this, I'm sure she's very proud of you xxx :-)
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| Posted in
Smoking Ban3 on 2008-01-20 06:45:32 |
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I agree...I always used to get people saying...'you know, you're gonna die of cancer', and I used to think 'how do you know what I'm gonna die of, what are you gonna die of?' fact is...I could get hit by a bus tomorrow. I have quit smoking (well, for 6 days so far anyhow) but I purposely didn't do it when the ban came into force in the UK because its not a decision someone else can make for you and for a long time I didn't WANT to quit. I just decided that the time was right.
And it is true that emmissions from cars are far more damaging passively than the smoke off someone having a ciggie near you...so what I want to know is...when will cars be banned?
I wouldn't have smoked in someone's face anyway, nor around children (or pregnant) but its reached a point here where you get evil looks just walking down the street holding a ciggie. When did being a smoker make someone a bad person?
Everyone has their addictions, their pleasures and smoking was my grandads, right up until he died, aged 92, peacefully in his sleep.
No one on this earth could've made him quit!
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| Posted in
Hitting 40 hours. (My Perogative) on 2008-01-20 06:35:46 |
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Well done! I dont know you but am very proud of you and wish you the very best of luck... :-)
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| Posted in
My thought for today: on 2008-01-20 05:30:28 |
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so true...xxxxx
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| Posted in
if only i had had a camera on 2008-01-19 16:55:02 |
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Haha! I was with my fella once and we saw a man on a tandem bike (no one on the back) and with his typical Geordie humour, he shouted after him 'Hoo man, I think ye wife's fell off!'
Ahh the Great British Public...there's no one quite like em...xxx
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| Posted in
Looking for My Heart of Gold on 2008-01-19 12:34:21 |
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I experience pure happiness, complete and true, every time I get on a train and step off in Newcastle into the arms of my man....unfortunately I also feel the total opposite everytime the train leaves to take me back and I have to watch him on the platform, getting smaller and smaller until I can't see him anymore. I cannot wait until August, when I shall be getting on that train to Newcastle for the last time, and then I will be happy everyday for the rest of my life...of that if nothing else, I am certain.
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| Posted in
Real Love on 2008-01-19 12:27:11 |
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I continue to be inspired by you, and wish every day that sooner or later...you achieve that which your heart desires. You have exactly the right attitude and most importantly you are a good person. I wish you love, luck and happiness xxx
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| Posted in
umm..hello, just new to this blog thing on 2008-01-19 09:38:21 |
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Hi, welcome to thoughts...I only have one bit of advice...feel free to speak your mind, so long as it doesn't offend anyone, and you will find the people on here very friendly and empathic, and quite often get some great advice. Write about anything...and have fun! xxx
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| Posted in
Funniest Dream I Ever Had... on 2008-01-18 03:24:39 |
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The idea of fat men with chocolate covered hands is very appealing (memories of a special night involving me, David and a bar of Dairy Milk springing to mind...but the least said the better...)...but short green men...hmm...there I have to draw the line. Thanks for the support, I can't quite believe I've got this far, and would recommend these patches to ANYONE.
I can't even say it's mind over matter, because I was absolutely adament they wouldn't work. But...81 hours later and I'm still smoke free. Woo hooooo!!!!!
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| Posted in
Trying for a baby on 2008-01-16 11:45:06 |
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I tried for a baby for seven years, and only just in the last year or so did I let it go, primarily because stressing about it makes it even less likely to happen, and I was told when I gave up trying...then I would concieve.
The problem I have is polycystic ovaries. I was told it didn't mean I was infertile, but it would be difficult. I was given medication to regulate my periods, (or rather, in my case, bring them back) and they worked, but my cycle is a week or so longer.
I don't know if I will ever concieve, but I do believe it's better not to neccessarily 'try' if you're experiencing problems, as the anxiety will just decrease your chances as I said.
I wish you luck and keep us posted!
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| Posted in
whant annoys you? on 2008-01-16 11:37:39 |
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Graffitti where the people who do it can't even be arsed to spell right, lol...and people acting like Nottingham is the only place you can get shot in...how it takes a week for a cheque to clear in a bank when in France it takes a matter of hours...oh yeah, and how we have no seasons...just three months winter and nine months bad weather...how the government ask us what we want and then do the opposite...the constant invasion of tesco's here there and everywhere...how there can't just be a bit of empty land...someones always gotta build on it...what annoys me the most, is that there is no sense of pride or unity...in communities or in the country as a whole. And when you talk to people about pride, they only see being English from the BNP slant (ie largely racist)...we cant even legally fly our own flag...why does everyone goes for a piss up on St Paddy's Day, but then ignore St George's Day?
Apart from that it's fine! Lol x
Rant over...hehehehe xxx
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| Posted in
The saddest thing I've ever seen in my life. on 2008-01-16 10:28:29 |
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Awe that really is sad. It's partly why I've always had dogs, and never cats, because I couldn't bear to lose my beloved pets in such a heart breaking way.
My dogs only go out with me and always on a lead.
People who are not pet owners, do not understand (sometimes even laugh at) the pain caused when a pet is lost. They become family members, like children and for people like the elderly, they are vital company, something to love, who loves them back unconditionally.
I have said a prayer for her, and urge others to do the same.
What a pity the person who ran the cat over didn't have the decency to at least take it from the road and try to find out who it belonged to? That would have at least saved her the pain of discovering it for herself.
I hope she will be okay. xxxx
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| Posted in
It's a calling on 2008-01-16 10:18:49 |
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This is part of what ruined my marriage and ended it so I commend you for having more srength than I did.
The trouble was...I need the emotional stuff even more than the physical stuff (though they are both important to me).
It's not being with someone, turning over in bed and not being alone that I crave, its being told by someone they love me, for no reason, a kiss and a cuddle, those things and loving glances that seem so insignificant but can lift your mood.
My husband didn't understand that and it cost us the marriage.
I'm with someone now who fulfills both sides of it, physical and emotional.
I am of the belief that alot of it comes from within, a large amount from your significant other, and also from all the other important people in your life who you love and need for different reasons.
It's hard to find the healthy balance, because it's so rare, but I am the closest I have ever been right now and I am happier than I have ever been in my life.
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| Posted in
Dream Interpreter on 2008-01-16 10:07:06 |
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Two dreams to ask you about, but the first one isn't really to be interpreted, so I don't know if you will be able to help me.
The day my father died, I started out sleeping in my mums room that night, but later in the night I went downstairs for hours to watch a video of a birthday party, which he was on. Eventually I went back to bed but in my old room at my parents house.
I dreampt of my dad.
I heard him coming up the stairs, every detail of this dream was so real, down to the creaking of the steps and the rustle of his clothing.
He came in and I was so happy to see him.
He asked me if I was ok, and I said I was now, and he told me to keep an eye on my mum and sister. He said he was ok.
He hugged me and put his hands on my face and they were stone cold. I could physically feel them. Reality set in and I said...'But we both know you're dead, right?'
He just smiled and said...'I won't be far away. I've got to go now.'
I watched him walk back down the stairs, and then I woke up, in floods of tears, borderline hysterical.
I've had people tell me it was my father saying goodbye, others have said it was just a dream fulfilling my own need to say goodbye. What do you think?
The second one isn't a specific dream as such, just a reoccuring theme of my dreams. I have a lot where I am going somewhere but I never actually get there.
In some the only way I can describe it is like being stuck on an invisible treadmill - my feet move but I never get anywhere.
In others I simply get distracted by random people who mean absolutely nothing to me.
In either instance it's incredibly frustrating.
These haven't been as frequent since I went back to college and met my fella, but they're still happening. Any ideas?
Thanks xxx
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| Posted in
have you ever???? on 2008-01-16 09:51:33 |
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I forgot to mention...there are millions of men out there who just love the larger lady.
I didn't believe that, so settled for the first man who asked me to marry him, believing better that then being alone.
It wasn't until last year that I discovered, as I say, that there are men out there who would rather have a cuddle and actually feel it, rather than hugging a stick.
I left my husband (for a multitude of reasons) and now I am with someone who is a wonderful, 6'3" hunky chunky man, self-confessed 'chubby chaser' and the more I believe in his love for me as I am...the more I have come to love myself, as I am.
the same will happen to you. Don't change...xxx
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| Posted in
have you ever???? on 2008-01-16 09:46:05 |
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I am a UK size 20, not sure what that is in the US, but I'm a big girl...lol...although my own body image is improving, I never really feel smart when I go out, unless I am with my fella. I have many times gone out thinking...yeah, I look and feel pretty good...but then I might catch sight of myself in a mirror and think...God, I look so scruffy.
I tell you what I am beginning to learn though...that I was right in the first place...I look absolutely fine, the only thing thats changed is my confidence has slipped a bit.
And in relationship to the last thing you said...I find nothing more irritating than thin people saying..'ooh, I'm soooo fat!' Part of me is always thinking, 'no you're not and you know it, you just want an ego boost', whereas the slightly more evil side of me wants to say...'Yeah, you are...but who cares eh?' Lol xxx
It's a mental, not a physical thing, purely to do with self image, so I am learning to ignore it and just enjoy myself.
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| Posted in
Am I Pregnant? All Advice Gratefully Recieved!! on 2008-01-16 06:50:15 |
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Yes, I'm very aware of what you mean about hopes being raised and then being disappointed. So many times I've had supposed signs of early pregnancy - signs that for most women mean they are pregnant, but I cannot assume the same. When you have this condition and you want it so badly, your mind does play tricks on you, and you find yourself picking out any small thing and convincing yourself your pregnant. That's why where most people would now be racing out for a test, I am simply hoping my period comes soon, to stop me kidding myself!
I've decided to hang fire and get on with my life for a few more weeks...if nothing by the time I go to see David in February, then I will take a test, with him by my side.
Thanks for your comment, I've actually never talked to anyone else with the condition, and not who has managed to concieve - was beginning to believe it just wasn't possible! xxx
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| Posted in
marriage?? on 2008-01-16 05:07:08 |
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You are right. The important thing is to be able to compromise, but this isn't as easy as it sounds, not when you consider you are committing to do it everyday for the rest of your lives. There is a feeling (especially for women) that you will be able to change the little things that don't fit in with what you need. But people cannot be changed like that, and even if they can...sonner or later you will find yourself getting sick of being with someone who gives in so easily.
I think its so important to make sure you have found the right person before getting wed, your soulmate, because if you marry anyone else...sooner or later you will just want to be yourself, and then you are faced with two options...grin and bear it and settle for second best...or leave and accept you have failed your marriage. Int he end, I had to do the second. So I think compatability is finding your 'other half' and when you find them...you'll know.
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| Posted in
CAN MONEY BUY HAPPYNESS? on 2008-01-15 14:40:22 |
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Money can probably make you happier, but you have to be happy to start with. Me and my fella are moving in together when I move to Newcastle in autumn (the fall) to go to University. Although I have chosen to go to University for a better career and hence a better financial future, we are both in agreement about one thing - we don't ever want tonnes of moeny...we just want to be secure and comfortable, and thats all that's needed to be happy I reckon. I know this because we are always happy when we're together, whether we have tonnes of money between us...or literally none at all. Happiness comes from within and from the people we surround ourselves with...not from the size of your bank balance.
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| Posted in
Haunted? on 2008-01-15 13:47:44 |
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Like you, I have a massive fascination with the paranormal, but I have been disappointed with photos I've found on the net, they always look so false!
I've had a few minor experiences, though they were pretty major to me at the time.
First of all the night my dad died I slept in the room with my mum and my dad hugged me, a full and strong hug, complete with a little squeeze at the end. It was the most profound experience of my life.
Second, I went with my family to a museum in the West Midlands called the Black Country museum, and we went on a tour of the 200 year old coal mines. It was creepy anyway, being so old and claustrophobic. I was second to last in our little group and there was a man behind me. As it was pitch black, I could barely see him, just his outline, but I could sense him there (just like you always know when someone is behind you) and hear his feet shuffling along the rough floor. It wasn't until we emerged back into the sunight and I asked where the guy was I was told that I was the last person in the group. Nothing will ever get me to go down there again!
I have tonnes more stories too, but I don't want to get carried away. To anwser your question...yes, I absolutely do believe though unfortunately I have no actual photographic evidence.
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| Posted in
Walkies on 2008-01-14 11:40:13 |
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Oh yeah, and I can't even say walkies in my house - cant even spell the word out, cause they know, they recognise it! People reckon dogs are dumb...but how many dogs step in humans poop?? haha xxx
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| Posted in
Walkies on 2008-01-14 11:37:58 |
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Awe bless...thats what makes dogs superior to cats in my oppinion! You can't stick a cat on a lead and take it for a walk to set the world to rights, can ya? I too have a Jack Russel, a four year old boy and also a German Shepherd who's 12 this year. Can't walk em together cause they go in opposite directions and the Shepherd just wants to do what he's gotta do and get back to his spot in front of the fire. How on earth do you cope with a Jack Russel and a Border Terrier?? My mum has a Staffie cross Brindle Terrier and when she gets with the Jack Russel it's chaos - she has no flower beds anymore, and they run around so much they turn into a blur before your eyes! Man, I love dogs....
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| Posted in
January 14, first day on 2008-01-14 11:26:51 |
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I remember mine, yes. I went to school earlier than most kids in the UK, I wasn't quite four. The reason for this was because I went with my mum to look at nursery school and announced (very loudly I'm told) that it was rubbish and I didn't want to go there. My mum and dad took me and my mum cried even though to start with I only went half a day. she told me to be careful and keep my uniform clean. I remember being disappointed because I thought I'd be with my sister but as she was 3 years older she was already at junior school, while I would be at infants. I remember not really being nervous, but falling over (I was a clumsy kid) and the teacher (Mrs Kelly) helping me up and calling me a 'clumsy clogs' I had a good time and made a friend - Shirley - who 23 years later is still my best friend.
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| Posted in
How do I say good bye? on 2008-01-14 11:17:48 |
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Hun, I know exactly what you mean. I loved my husband but never felt in love. He was always so miserable even though in perspective his life wasn't that bad. He had both parents, a wife, a family, a job and a roof over his head. His mood was dragging me down too and I had to leave in the end. It was tough because he never did anything specific I could say was my reason for going - it was more what he DIDN'T do. I just couldn't get him motivated to enjoy life, and so I wasn't able to enjoy mine. It was the hardest thing I've ever done but without doubt the right thing. Sometimes, you just have to be a little bit selfish, it's the only way. What good does it do for both of you to be unhappy? I blame myself entirely because I knew I wasn't right for him (or he for me) and I still married him. Although it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, I firmly believe I did the right thing because now I am with the person who is right for me, and he is free to find his soulmate too. And like you said...that's not me. If you are unhappy, or sure you cannot salvage it...then you are doing the right thing. I wish you the best of luck also and wish you strength and happiness. Believe me, it will be a huge relief to let go, and eventually...he will see it that way too. Peace and love to you xxx
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| Posted in
Any advice... on 2008-01-14 10:41:26 |
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If you can handle the sleep interruption, set your alarm to be up when he's going out. Just give him a kiss before he goes. If the fight was your fault, apologise and then give him a kiss. If it wasn't...just the kiss will suffice. It should be just enough to clear the air and eliminate that feeling of dread at going home to an uncomfortable atmosphere that evening. Best advice I ever got was not to end the day on a cross word, so if you can resolve it before you both go to bed...all the better! And remember...the occasional arguement is quite healthy. It's just another expression (albeit a negative one) of emotion, it's when you can get through those arguements still in love...that you know everything will be okay and you will hopefully change your feelings from dread to looking forward to going home to get back to loving each other and being happy. Best of luck! xxx
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| Posted in
First entry, always a good sign, no? on 2008-01-14 03:58:07 |
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Cheers. I will leave stick thin to my sister...because I love my 'love handles'...as just as importantly...so does my fella! hehehe xxx take care xxx
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| Posted in
First entry, always a good sign, no? on 2008-01-13 19:42:51 |
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Welcome to Thoughts!
You seem to have a sensible attitude to your looks so I'm sure you'll have success. It's so nice to not hear someone say 'Oh, I want to be 'x' stone...' etc...
This time last year i was a size 26, I'm now a size 18. I haven't gone on a mad diet, I just got a life, got out and about and fell in love lol.
My long term aim is to get to a size 16 and then stay there. That's it. Have never had the desire to be skinny and never will have. I guess I should do more exercise too, but as I run like a chicken it aint happening.
Good luck anyways and keep it sensible! I hope you enjoy this site and I am sure you will find it very supportive, as I have! xxx
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| Posted in
What Makes You Feel Desirable? on 2008-01-13 07:32:42 |
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Sorry, I got carried away!! hehe xxx
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| Posted in
What Makes You Feel Desirable? on 2008-01-13 07:31:44 |
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My fella is an absolute EXPERT at making me feel desirable. The gift he has is that he can evoke that feeling whether I am on a high or a low. When I am happy, or all excited he's right up there with me, sharing it with me, and when I am feeling low he knows just what to say.
He lives 260 miles away, so when we are not together it's the things he says that make me feel desirable. Example - the other week I was going on a night out and he sent me a text saying I looked stunning, even though he didn't even know, let alone had he seen, what I was wearing. I went out beaming from ear to ear.
When we are together it's the things he says AND does. Something as simple as a big cuddle makes me feel desirable.
He's one of those rare guys who is not only not embarrassed to shop in the women's section with me, but gets actively involved. He'll look at some sexy undies and say...'God you'd look goreous in that' and because of my insecurities I'll roll my eyes and laugh and he'll look at me and say 'Oi, I mean it'...and I know he does. He constantly tells me how sexy he finds me and how beautiful I am. In my mind, I'm not. I'm not ugly, but I'm not particularly pretty either. But hearing him say I am to him, and better yet, being able to believe I am, is what makes me feel sexy.
I think for alot of women to feel desirable, they need to be told they are to their partner, he needs to say it, but then he needs to back that up with actions, and that doesn't mean just sex. Being chased for sex has never made me feel desirable, because to me it is just a physical need for most of the men I've known, therefore it doesn't make me feel special. However...knowing someone wants to make love to you...that's different, because there's emotion involved too. So to stop myself rambling, what makes me feel desirable is being told by my fella I am beautiful, or that he loves/needs me, the way I sometimes catch him looking at me, his wonderful way with words and the extraordinary ability he has to know exactly when I need a cuddle or a kiss, these are the things that mean the most. Hope that made sense!! xxx
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| Posted in
I'm Late on 2008-01-13 05:18:40 |
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I just wanted to point out that we now realise how folish it was to be having unprotected sex these last few months while I was still with hubby. I guess we thought a baby would never happen, what with my fertility issues and David being a 44 year old diabetic, he has always believed he missed his chance to be a father and that no way would he be able to make one now...but anyway...we'll see xxx
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| Posted in
creepy forwarded email I received today re Obama on 2008-01-12 20:11:56 |
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What I find most sad about this information is that if he is a Muslim he feels he needs to hide that fact in a country like America, supposedly the land of the free, a tolerant nation. Also, I'm not a Muslim, or even that religious but I'm insulted by the constant use of 'the Muslims'. I would hope that eventually people will stop lumping people together under the same umbrella. These terrorists (as any genuine Muslim will tell you) are not even real Muslims, as true Muslims are pacifists and the Koran states that those who commit murder in this way shall be damned. Not being Christian doesn't make a person automaticlly evil. As a British citizen I only hope that if elected he has the sense not to drag the US into any more wars where young people lose their lives to fight for oil...because as we all know, what America does, Britain is sure to follow, and we have lost enough young people already. I also just hope that in this election EVERYONES vote will count, and wish you guys every luck with whoever you get next! :-)
I urge people to fight against this type of propaganda, allow themselves to see all sides and make up their own minds, and denounce all forms of racial and religious hatred and radicalism, terrorism and extremism in all its forms...and with family in Northern Ireland...I know all about terrorism.
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| Posted in
Abortion is not the answer. Never on 2008-01-12 18:43:46 |
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Abortion has always been a touchy subject for me. Having had 4 miscarriages and polycystic ovaries I was never able to understand how someone could be blessed with the chance of having a baby and throw it away. However, as I've grown up I've come to see things differently, and as I always say to people...you can't know what it is like to be in a situation until you are in it personally, and even then you can only see it from your perspective as everyone is unique. What I don't agree with is people having an abortion just for the sake of it, but it's clear you put alot of thought into it, that it was not an easy decision for you and that you have agonised about it ever since. I agree with what everyone is saying on here. You're a good person who realises you may have made a mistake. Please let go of the guilt and move on because there is no room for regret in this life. The past is gone, the future does not exist...so live only for today. Wishing you peace and sending you love. xxx
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| Posted in
Happy Birthday Dad on 2008-01-11 18:23:16 |
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This is lovely...my dad's birthday is one of the hardest days of the year for me and I always leave a card by his grave and a pair of socks ( a running joke because when asked what he wanted for his birthday, he would always say 'oh, just get me socks!').
He may have died but I still have a dad and he is with me everyday. I love him and miss him. There is something quite special about the bond between a daddy and daughter - it is unbreakable, love is eternal and has no boundaries - death cannot kill what never dies. peace and love xxx
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| Posted in
Muslims on 2008-01-11 18:17:34 |
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Thank you for posting this - yesterday I answered a blog that was very critcal of 'the muslims' and the guy who is running for the presidential election in the US (because as it turns out, he is Muslim). I think the problem is propganda and paranoia, which is rife particularly in the US and UK, where I live. Every opportunity I get I set people straight on just who is responsible for terror attacks and it is not Muslims. I always live by my dad's philsophy - we are all part of one race - the human race and as has been said on this, more needs to be done and said to draw people away from the ignorance of uniting against 'Muslims' and instead draw us together against the evil of terrorism, regardless of who commits it.
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| Posted in
Are you weak? on 2008-01-11 14:06:32 |
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I cheated on my husband for nearly a year. I agree with you, it can be because a person is weak, I certainly felt that way many times, because I wanted to do the right thing by all involved but just couldn't.
However is, it's not as easy as just breaking up with them, not when marriage is concerned. If I had just been with someone, I'd have left him, but marriage is harder to walk away from, even when the love is gone.
All I'm saying is, until someone has been in that situation, it's impossible to understand the emotions involved.
Luckily I have now left and am getting on with my life (and allowing my husband to do the same).
Also, I should add that often it is about sex but sometimes its not...it is usually an emoional void that needs to be filled, that's how it was for me. I only stayed as long as I did because I didn't want to fail at marriage. But sometimes you just have to concede that even with the best of intentions some things are not meant to be. And I feel that my strongest moments were when I first made the choice to leave my husband, and when I actually did.
Please just remember to be compassionate, and remember that all situations are different. Nothing is that straightforward! xxx
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| Posted in
I'm new to blogging on 2008-01-11 11:44:23 |
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Welcome to Thoughts.com! I hope you find it fun, eye-opening and supportive as I have. Happy blogging!! xxx
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Where am I "BEING" on 2008-01-10 19:18:53 |
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Being is definitely about experience. About living and being alive and seeing and feeling everything around you, taking it in and embracing those things that make you happy. Maybe just by doing that you will find God, who knows? My mind is gradually opening to the possibilty of His existance and you know what? Since I opened my mind just a little...I have never been so happy. Just by 'being' myself and recognising what and who I need to be happy and content. Am only just beginning to relise how wonderful life is! You have a very open mind and it's just lovely to see it so clearly in your words. Thank you xxx
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Where Are You? on 2008-01-10 17:57:49 |
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I agree. I was in a similar situation. I took a pregnancy test which came up positive though, after my peroid was nearly five weeks late. When I went to the hospital though...no baby. As it turned out I have polycystic ovaries, which is one of the main reasons for women not having periods, having irregular periods or just being late. Give it a while longer, then see a doctor for a more reliable test...if still negative or no period, ask to be referred. Most problems are easily treated and it saves all the stress of wondering. Good luck!
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MEET BARAK OBAMA? EVERYONE SHOULD READ on 2008-01-10 16:26:59 |
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'The Muslims' have not all said they plan on destroying the US, only a very select minority of so-called 'extremists' who in my humble oppinion are not true muslims, as the Islamic faith advocates peace and 'true' Muslims are pacifists. These people who support and indeed carry out acts of terror do so hiding behind the name of islam but do not speak for the millions of genuine, decent Muslims across the globe. Unfortunately they have succeeded in causing damage that means all Muslims are placed under this negative umbrella they do not deserve.
I understand that the US is a Christian nation, but I would hope that in the 21st century a country such as the US would have a far more tolerant attitude to ALL religions. I for one would support anyone to believe in whoever and whatever they want to, provided they are not hurting anyone. Not everything is a mass conspiracy. So he might not be a Christian...so he's a Muslim? Does this automatically make him a terrorist? Incidentally there are not that many differences between the Bible and the Koran either. The only thing I find disturbing about this info is that he feels the need to hide his truth faith, because clearly it is not allowed to be anything else in the US without being a terrorist. THAT is scary stuff.
As a British citizen, I find the prospect of George Bush scarier than anyone else, as he has dragged us into wars over oil where we have lost many young people. If you believe he is concerned about dictators, ask yourself this - why has he done nothing about Robert Mugabe? Could it be because there is nothing of any use to the Western world in Zimbabwe??
I'm not having a go, far from it...I believe its important for people to say whatever they like...I just wanted people to look on here, consider both sides...and then make up their own minds.
I will be watching the US elections this time with great interest as a Sociology student...and I hope this time EVERYONES vote will count.
All I'm really saying is keep an open mind...and I'll do the same.
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Why? on 2008-01-10 07:43:41 |
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I was married to a man like this, although we didn't have children. All the time we were married he just wallowed in self-pity and for a long time he dragged me down with him.
For me in the end there was nothing to do but leave, for the sake of my sanity. If I hadn't, I would have been miserable forever. I spent seven years waiting for him to prove to me what he could be but in the end I had to accept I couldn't change him.
However I wouldn't advise you to leave him, except as a last resort, simply because of the kids. Having said that, if the quality of life is as bad for the children as it is for you, it might be all you can do. Have you told him how you feel? Would it do any good to try? I wish you the very best of luck. xxx
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A Surprise Visit on 2008-01-09 04:43:24 |
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Thank you. I realise this high probably won't last forever, sooner or later things are gonna be tough, but for now, I'm just happy to enjoy the here and now. If I've learnt anything from all that's happened it's this: 'The past is gone, the future does not exist...live for today.'
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I Did It!!!! on 2008-01-08 14:05:59 |
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Thanks...three days on the sense of relief is still with me and i'm feeling good. It was my hubby, not David, who got physical with me, but I reckon thats what you meant!
main thing to me now is that I am happy and for the first time in my life I have total faith in the future being everything I want it to be!
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Beautiful on 2008-01-07 20:42:19 |
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Lovely way with words...and the best bit? I have someone in my life who actually looks at insignificant, ordinary little me, in precisely that way, and I him. And its a truly wonderful experience. If I had one wish it would be for everyone to have that feeling, even if it were just once. Lovely post. :-)
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I Did It!!!! on 2008-01-07 11:36:56 |
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Hi...yes the word divorce had already occured to me. I guess I will be officially to blame for the end of the marriage, and I can live with that, I have to really. Am only so, so glad there are no kids involved, nor had we ever bought a house...so that's two issues that will help. If I end up forever labelled an adultress...so be it, it's worth it! As you said, still a bumpy ride ahead but I'll get there in the end, especially now I have finally made a move. Thanks for everyone's support! :-)
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I Did It!!!! on 2008-01-07 11:05:29 |
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Thnks Bullseye. Have to admit, it feels good. I expected to feel sad in some way...I still expect to at some point, can't feel nothing after 7 and a half years together, but for now it's just a relief and as I said...the right decision. Hopefully soon enough he will see that too! happy New Year! xxx
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Question? on 2008-01-01 20:44:58 |
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The dictionary says being is something that is, or is thought to, exist. I think there's a difference between existing and being. Existance is passive. You can sit in a corner and never move and still exist. Being however, is what you are, or what you chose to be. I exist as a woman, I am being a friend, a lover, a unique person...I don't know if that makes sense or is what you meant, that's just my take on it. And believeing something to be right doesn't make it automatically right either in my eyes...what's right to one person is not to another. Example - I don't believe in God...but I would never tell someone God doesn't exist if he does to them. Life is introspective and a personal thing, and everyone's view of it, is right to them, precious to them...and utterly unique to them. That's just what I think...and only on here could I ramble like that without being told to stop talking rubbish! hehe x And incidentally I'd like to read more of your book...I want to know what happens next! xx
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HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!! on 2008-01-01 17:13:48 |
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I wish you every success for this coming year...I share your deep sense that there is something very special and positive about this year...and I look forward to it with the same positivity. Like you, i believe everything starts with self-love and all else follows. You're daughter is lucky to have you and your mother would be proud of you...all the best for 2008!!! xxx
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chebtastic1
Newcastle Upon Tyne, United Kingdom
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