| View Blog
|
|
|
sunday night and its been a good weekend - no alcohol for three days!!
weekends so much easier and more relaxed than week days -
this site really helps - not just what i type but i think what i may talk about and how i feel and more importantly why i feel like i do - just met a lovely lady who has similar life to mine and has been diagnosed 3 years ago with MS and we all need to think about how lucky we really are but we get so wrapped up in our own problems we can easily forget - illness scares me a lot too - i have had many operations but have been ok for five years now - i dont really talk about being ill to anyone but i do think about it sometimes - especially last time as it was quite traumatic - not sure if all ops have affected me too and made me lose some self esteem - i had an ovarian cyst which was benign when pregnant with my first son and then another one a few years later which was borderline cancer - followed by lots of biopsies and more tests for a further five years - til i had a full hysterectomy which i have always been ok with - i could have had hysterectomy earlier but wanted more children and was very lucky to have 2 - then i got a blocked bowel which was misdiagnosed for 4 days - it was horrible and deep down i know it could happen again at any time - however, dont think this is why i feel like i do - i seem to clench my teeth a lot - sign of anxiety and stress - no one i know would believe any of this! - i do worry all the time internally - about my children being safe and all our health being ok and i have started to think about death too - my death - i have always been terrified for my children but now i think 'how will i die' - and then you see people going off to work and being killed in accidents etc...and think how do their families cope - then i get onto thinking 'what is this all about' why are some people ok, some people really not ok and some just living fantastic lives - any ideas? and the big question - is there an afterlife? or is this it? have read lots of books - what do you think?
tomorrow i am going to write about my childhood - just write and see what comes out........... x |
|
Posted by charle17 on 2008-04-06 16:00:07 | Rating: | Views: 19
|
| |
|
|
