Yesterday was a pretty good day for me. I try to do stuff everyday that make me happy, Little stuff  mostly. Some time it's just a few min to myself.

I make pottery. So I spent most of the day out in my studio. I didn't have supper ready,, I didn't know what I was going to have for supper.

Hubby comes home all bummed out. I don't know why.  I didn't feel like asking. After we had supper. My daughter and I started watching a Girlie Movie. During the movie I got up to go the the bathroom. I ran into Hubby. Who asked me if He was going to get lucky tonight. I don't remember exactly HOW he asked that. but you get the idea. I told him with the way he came home all bummed out that NO he was not going to get any. I then told him that he was not happy with his other job. That he moved us here to MS for a better job, His Dream job....as he called it. That he better not had moved me down here and not be happy.

So I don't know what  going on with him. It is taken everything I have right now to keep my head above water, I can't hold both of us right now. I used to do that. Put his feeling before my. Not any more.

I want to come first. I don't want to have to deal with his problems, I did that already. I am so tried of the word HAPPY.. what does that mean???????  I would like a nice normal life..But what is that???? I would like a husband who really cares for me. Who love me for who I am. Laugh with me,, and take care of me.  but can I find that? Do I really want that? I know I want something different then what I have now.