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im back. i have not blogged in a long time and now i am ready to blog away. i stopped this because i got so depressed and upset with my problems that i gave up on a lot of things. i feel shitty and worthless even though i know im not. my problems keep piling up and i cant seem to get a hold of myself. my main problem besides my financial situation is my alcoholic mother. if you have read my previous blogs you will know what i am talking about. she drinks and drinks and drinks. she even lost her job based on the fact that she would drink so much that she would wake up and feel all shaky from drinking so much the night before that she woild have to call out of work and she called out so many times that her boss decided that she was no longer necessary to employ. as i am typing this we are arguing back and forth. the problem now is that she keeps asking me for money because she is broke and she wants her ''fix'' and when i tell her no she gets all pissed off. i feel bad telling her no but the only reason i am saying no is because she will just buy beers and ciggarettes with it. now i dont usually get really pissed to the point where i curse at my mother but she is really pissing me off. when i tell her no she gets mad at me and tries to make me seem like the bad guy. i simply cannot take it anymore. i keep all my anger bottled up inside and i am constantly depressed. now i dont want anyone to think that i am a suicidal maniac but i do get depressed to the point where i dont want to go out with my sweetheart and i have no ambition. i know my mothers problem is not supposed to be my problem but it is. i wish i could move out but i simply cannot afford it. i only make 300 dollars a week and thats if i work seven days a week which i have been doing. its tough but honestly, as long as i am out of the house i dont mind. the only person i have to talk to is my fiance whom has enough problems at her own house and i wouldnt want to burden her. she sees what i am going through but she cannot do anything about it. i am sick of lying to everyone and telling them that my mother is a noble woman. but she is not. i hate saying it but i hate my mom.
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Posted by captain on 2008-03-08 17:44:02 | Rating: | Views: 48
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welcome back. Let it all out, we are all here to hear it. Unfortunately we dont get to choose our parents and we have to deal with what we got. You might feel like you hate your mom right now but once you cool off you will feel like that less. If you truly hated her, you would not care enought about her to worry about her alchoholism. Hopefully things start looking up soon, all the best hun.
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Posted by smileforthecamera
on 2008-03-08 18:00:19
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