| I don't want to miss her like this anymore. |
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I keep trying to call her. She won't answer. I shake uncontrollably half the time. I've smoked seven packs of cigarettes since I found out. I have no appetite. Seconds seem like minutes and minutes seem like hours. Everything is moving slowly. I have dark circles under my eyes.
I heard today that it's possible to die of a broken heart.
The only reason I don't want that to happen, is because I'd never see her again.
I haven't gone to school for an entire day yet. Yesterday I saw her coming down the hall with her man, holding his hand and laughing. She looked at me, and her expression didn't change. My heartbreak doesn't even phase her. Not having her with me is changing my entire fucking LIFE. All she does is replace me with a boy.
The worst part is that he doesn't even fucking care about her like I do.
My boyfriend stopped by today. (Ha, what a fucking joke.) He came in and sat on my bed with me, not that I wanted him there in any way, but what can I say? "I'm in love with my best friend and your presence unnerves me because you have a dick and I don't want it. The last month has been nothing but a cover up, thanks for playing part in my play, have a nice day"?
Anyway. He sat on my bed and started playing with my hair, saying he thought I should see a doctor because I don't look so well.
Well, I don't fucking feel so well, either. Asshole.
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