i was dumped last night by the one person i believed honestly loved me.  And i did nothing. This is what i wrote to the ex:

i don't know how to handle all this. you're right; i can't understand you because i don't know you that well. You didn't let me know you that well. and you're wrong; you were very mean to me. why in the world did you not say something before christmas? before you went away... before you got sick... before anything. i can't understand that. why you lead me on to believe something that was never true in the first place.

i can't say i'm surprised at the entire situation. afterall, you stopped calling me "baby" back before christmas and you stopped saying "i love you" right after new year's. talk about dishonesty. saying you're not a good liar; you're a great one. to lead me to believe that you loved me. then saying you're not sure you ever actually did. that was mean. it was very mean for you to put ideas in my head... giving me hope. you talking about looking at jobs in forsyth county so we could be closer. you talking about laster living together telling your mom 'oh we're just roommates". remember, i remember everything you said. you were the one who was so nervous to meet my family so i thought it actually meant something. that i actually meant something to you.

i was never looking for the love of my life like it came across. i was just looking for a best friend. someone to do things with. someone who didn't mind my goofiness or the rest of me. i hadn't had an actual friend in so long when i met you.

and now i don't think you ever even liked me... even as a friend. i told you from day-one that i had severe abandonment issues and suddenly you're gone. that's not the way to treat a friend so we must not have ever been friends, in your eyes. the friends i make in life, i cherish because i know i don't get that many chances and you threw me away like i was expendable. people are not expendable!

i had no idea that the talking on the phone for hours at a time annoyed you. i thought that you liked it because you were the one who was calling so much at night in the beginning. it just kind of stuck. i was simply following your lead because i knew you had never been involved in anything like it before. and yet, you ran off anyway. remember when you got down for a weekend and i was scared of you shutting down on me. i wasn't afraid of being alone at the moment or whatever. i was afraid of this happening... of you shutting me out entirely. and look! it happened anyway. after one conversation, you shut me out entirely.

you said we grew apart... we didn't grow apart; you fell apart. and tried to blame it on me. you're the one who couldn't face herself in the mirror. i'm not scared of what i am or what may happen. i grew up afraid. poor. scared. ugly. and afraid. but i grew up. i went off and found myself and came back a much stronger person. and i hope, your own self, you will too. i hate seeing you so down all of the time. and so afraid of your own reflection.

i think you lied to me friday night when you said you didn't think you ever loved me. i think the entire relationship scared you and you ran away. not from me but from yourself and what you were becoming. if you were with me, it meant you were one thing and that scares you. so you used the only excuse you could think of, the one you knew would kill me. i would hope that in those 4 and a half months you would've learned something about me. i don't let people go; they let me go. i stand beside them no matter what, unless they tell me to leave. i've been told that i'm like a cookie. hard on the outside but a gooey and soft on the inside. and i break easily. i try my hardest to hold onto people but they still leave me. do you know what that's like?

Why does everybody leave me? Why am i not as important enough to other people as they are to me? why do they let me go and cut me off? i don't hurt them. i am there for them, but they leave me. they always leave me. my family may appear to be close and tight-knit but when you saw us together, that's the only day of the year we get together like that. i don't mean anything to them. they don't mean anything to each other. i was so hoping you would see that. but you didn't. they don't care about me. they don't answer the phone when i call. they don't call me for advice. they didn't even tell me when my dad had his heart surgery and triple by-pass until three days later. i didn't even know he was sick. they begged me to come home from florida because they said they missed me. but when i finally came back, i heard less from them.

in was hoping you would figure out by the way talked about how your family treated you, that i was jealous. i was so jealous. that your family cared so much. that your sister was your best friend. i am jealous. that's what i've always wanted. more than anything else in the world. you really should've just shot me last night; it would've been less painful than to be told you weren't loved. AGAIN.

i'm sorry that i took up your time and i wish you luck with everything. please never again tell someone you love them, if you're don't.