With age comes wisdom....I'm at the point, where I no longer want to hold grudges, I dont want to reminisce the past, but yet live for the future.
I dont have the perfect family..but then again, who does? One of my biggest regrets in my life to this point, is not saying goodbye to my dad. I was young, and I held grudges...I was mad at him, I was hurt...I didnt understand how all of my friends could have dad's that were wonderful...and I had one..that..well...Didnt know how to be a father. I doubted his love for me...something I wished I would've known differently when he was alive. He was never there for me, and the last 6 months of his life...he tried to come into contact with me, I had every chance in the world to go see him, but yet could not build up the strength to do so. I always thought there would be "Tomorrow"....but one day came and there was No Tomorrow. I then realized that....He was gone...forever....I could never say my peace to him..I could never hear him tell me he loved me....or tell me he was sorry.
I saw my Half sister a while back for the first time in 2 years. It was great to see her....i had a nephew that i had never seen and he is 2 years old! I have 2 nieces that are gorgeous, but I hardly know...and a nephew...that I hear is doing wonderful and his daugter is beautiful...but yet i've to meet her as well. All of this hit me....look at everything I've missed out in their lives...just because I couldnt be mature enough to say I love you....that I didnt want to lose them out of my life as well. They are my family....They aren't perfect...but I love each and every single one of them.
I am proud to say that I stood up, and faced my fears and put all the past behind me. I've learned life is too short to hold grudges...or to live in the past....and I'm sorry that i learned that too late.
To dad: I always did love you...i just never understood why you were hardly ever there. I found out after you were gone...you truley did love me...I'm sorry that I didnt know that alot sooner. I love you...and I'm glad you're not suffering anymore. Watch over me please...and guide me down the right path.
...Live life for Today!!! Dont have regrets....Forgive!!! That's all I can say!
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