I wonder how much trouble you could get in, going swimming in the pool that's already closed for the night? That's the question of the night. I'm dying to go for a late night swim but the sign posted says the pool closed at 10pm. Boo :(.
Today was a busy day. Did some shopping at an outlet mall. Whoo hoo, I just love a good bargain! :). I got a few good buys as well as J some presents as well! He's already pestering me wanting to know what I've gotten him. He's worse than a kid at Christmas time! I can only imagine how he'll be then! Anywho, after a few hours of shopping I went and spent a couple hours lying by the pool! It was a scorcher out there! I ended up laying back with my head resting on the pools ledge, and floating in the water soaking up sun! My finger tips were like a prune once I got out! But wow did it feel amazing! My mom and I decided that we'd hit another outlet mall, and take my grandmother out to dinner. Well that didn't plan out like I'd hoped. After the outlet mall, my grandmother stated that she wasn't hungry. Then my mom said we'd just go on home, and here I am in the passenger seat absolutely starving. I ended up eating Wendy's, not what I wanted to eat while on vacation. Oh well, too late to complain about it now I suppose, right? While eating my salad from Wendy's at the table my grandma and mom joined me.
The conversation quickly turned to my Uncle & crew once again. Does this topic ever end? It turned to issues that have happened in the past, speaking years ago! I then spoke up stating that if you don't want to try and help yourself then you have no one to blame but yourself. I then said that I feel as if he thinks he's better than all the rest of this family, as if you have a problem he's already gone through it or has one even worse. Simply just the truth. That apparently was NOT the right thing to say, but I've never been the one to keep my mouth shut when I have something to say. Just the way I am. What you see, is what you get with me. Nothing more, nothing less. Well from what I can tell that's not liked in this "neck of the woods". I was told by my grandmother that I apparently didnt know what I was speaking of. And that I was babbling non sense and what I had to say was not worth listening to. I simply got up from the table, and went and sat on the couch. When will they realize that I am a 24 year old woman and that I'm not a child anymore. I stated that we all have our own opinions and that was mine. I was entitled to speak it as well. That started another uproar. What have I done to deserve this?
I was told that I needed to be a niece and maybe, just maybe he'd be an uncle to me. What else do I need to do? Everytime he calls my mother, I tell her to tell him hello. I ask how he's doing. How the family is. He never asks, never reciprocates. At what point, does one just quit trying and just accept reality. I then, am expected to act as if everything has been the happy family for the 7 years that I've not seen nor talked to him. I can't do that. I'm not that type of person. You will not shit on me, or not be in my life to then turn around at an instant and try to be the "doting uncle". I said that as far as I was concerned, he had not been an Uncle to me. He was a realtive, yes. A family member. But never had he been "there" for me. My night ended up by me sobbing crying, and went outside and away from everyone. I talked to J for 2 hours, crying telling him I wanted to come home. He told me for the remainder of days to just walk away. Remove myself from any situation that involves drama or arguments right away. Sounds like a great plan, but sometimes is easier said than done. I'm sure going to try.
I've cried every single day that I've been here and don't want to shed another tear. Am I simply being unreasonable in my thoughts?
~Peace~
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