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I'm afraid of being gay.
I'm afraid of being straight.
I'm afraid of penises.
I'm afraid that no one has the capacity to love me the way that I know I can love others.
I'm afraid of needles.
I'm afraid of getting married.
I'm afraid of Katie.
I'm afraid my sister knows.
I'm afraid of my father.
I'm afraid of church.
I'm afraid of God.
I'm afraid that I'm suicidal.
I'm afraid that Katie isn't good for me.
I'm afraid of being diagnosed with depression.
I'm more afraid of not being diagnosed--- that means this state is normal.
I'm afraid of people who can read me. who can see through me.
I'm afraid of you. You'll read this. And it probably won't be significant. If it is, it will be only momentarily.
I'm so afraid of giving it shit. It hurts. so much.
I'm afraid that I'm the most self-centered person on the planet.
I'm afraid of heaven.
I'm afraid of hell.
I'm afraid that happiness is blindness. |
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Posted by brightbluecotton on 2008-07-07 23:07:20 | Rating: | Views: 46
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This ranting rally is what initially caught my eye tonight. Fear and its all seemingly endless power. You only are afraid of God because you call yourself that. He/She is supposed to be your best friend when all else fails. That is what faith is about. Not fearing some lightning bolt striking you down. If you were evil or chose to break rules, would you give a damn?
The only fear you have to think about here is Katie. Examine your feelings, if that matters. You are afraid of happiness, apparently. Affraid of it shattering for some unknown reason. Same as me. But, right now you seem far luckier. And, young.
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Posted by brainstormer
on 2008-07-08 00:19:07
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