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i feel like i have the need to explain myself to myself. i need to get over this thought process. i am always gonna be stuck with myself.
today i've decided i want to go on a safari. somewhere deep within the africa. my mind id just wondering . i wish i could record all the things that are going on in my mind without forming words and beliving thats my only way of thinking. i believe that that is my only way of thinking.
alright. another theory. what if humans were never given the chance to walk. what if we were always trained to run everywhere. we would be in the best goddamn shape of our lives. hahahah but no really. what if our houses were miles long. we thought that a mile would be like ten norm steps. BEST GODDAMN SHAPE of our lives. but its just another thought.
my boyfriend wants me back. i mean i don't know why i never expected it. why teh hell would i not? i was heartbroken yesterday. and am already head over heals again. i know its just gonna hurt as much the second time. maybe i won't get as attached. hmmmm. well anywho i know that he cares about drugs over me. and i see it more and more as i get away from those things.
i think about how many smart people i've known lost to drugs. it scares me. they think with everydrug that they get smarter with life, and more in sync with the world. but there just deteriating their brains. and becoming more in sync with the ground and being buried in it ..
blab blab blab. i want to think that i'm becoming more independent , but with all these goddamn phone calls i feel like my time is just wasting away.
i hate phones. i hate talking to someone who's not looking at me in the eye. i want people to connect with me while there talking. i think eye contact is the single most important thing in anyones personality.
if you can't look at someone in the eye when your talking, why even fucking bother? your not connecting with the person physically, unless they have their dick in her cunt... weird, but u get my point?
I HATE FUCKING GOSSIP. i dont care about the shit that doesn't relate to me, sure its a great passtime. but i really dont fucking give a two cents.
hah, YA KNOW? another thing, i was looking through facebook, likei do on a normal occasion and i realized that my friends that i used to be with when i was younger, ARE COMPLETELY different than i am. entirely different people.
i mean and i know ill look back at the people that i talk to today and just know that there are nothing like the poeple that i will get to know in the next years of my life.
SABI SABI HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my newest happy place has found itself a home.
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