"Him"
Current mood: bored


Last night I went out and ran into someone I used to "date". (This is a family show right?) Anyway. There I was sitting at a bar with a lot of trouble all around me. I surveyed the crowd and found several "future baby daddies". When I say there of every kind you could have I mean EVERY KIND. Tall, short, wide, shaved, locks, bald, balding, broke, pimping, blinging, I mean all kinds of men..lol... Okay so I was drunk, but some of them WERE CUTE. Anyway as I surveyed the crowd my eyes hit a familiar face. As my eyes attempted to focus and I squinted to hit my 'ZOOM' I realized it was "him". At that moment I was full of a number of emotions. Happiness, anger, and anxiousness.

Let me tell you about my history with "him". I met "him" in the 7th grade. To say that I didn't like him is a major understatement. He tortured me everyday in class, and he made jokes ALL the time. He made fun of my last name, talked about the way I dressed and then criticised my look. I was the focus of many of the taunts of my classmates. I was lightskinned with green eyes, wore dresses everyday and was smart. It was like they couldn't stand me. I kept to myself. and rarely ever talked to them, I feared being "me", because I thought they would just tease me more. So I just had a few friends, whom I kept in stitches. and I secretly wanted to have him instantaniously combust, right in the middle of lunch. I wanted to put my hands on him and not in a good way AT ALL.

I only got a chance to pay him back once, and it was a small victory, however I cherished it always. I specifically remember doing a lesson in science where we had to disect a frog. Our teacher Mr. Schlotterbeck was a hippy white guy with a head full of curly hair. He was funny and loved teaching science. I remember him, because he trusted me, and was the teacher I used to steal passes from to sell to my classmates. (I never said I was an angel) So needless to say I befriended Mr. S, to be mischievious, however, he was a very nice man. (Eventually, I stopped stealing his passes... I chose to use someone else because he was just too nice... in the words of Nina.. DON"T JUDGE ME)

Anyway, Mr. S wanted us to be engaged in the dissection and suggested that we "name" our frog. Now since Mr. Schlotterbeck liked me so much, he would often allow me to grade papers, or take attendance. These duties gave me access to the print out of the class list. Now back in the 80's when I was in school, the print out had your middle name on it. Low and behold one day I paid attention to "him's" middle name. Wilbur! LOL. I could barely contain myself. "Him" was so COOL... how dare he have a name like Wilbur!!! I couldn't wait to use it on him the NEXT time his ass decided to harass me. I couldn't decide if I wanted to use it during his lunchtime rant, or wait till the class was quiet. Or I could write his entire name on the chalkboard right before lunch, so that when we returned.. he would be mortified. I just couldn't decide what I wanted to do. Decisions decisions....anyway when Mr. Sclotterbeck instructed us to name our frog.. done deal.

My group wanted to use typical names, "Kermit", "Froggy" and number of other names that just didn't seem to quite fit. I won the entire group with WILBUR. We laughed and giggled and I managed to convince them to not let anyone know the name of our frog until we posted on the tray.

The next day "him" was chosen by his group to go up front to get the tray and that's when he saw it... "Wilbur" labeled on the tray. The look of horror across his face was more than satisfying for me. My group thought it would be absolutely hilarious if they said "Wilbur" all throughout class... No one was the wiser to my little personal joke. Now, though this humbled "him" for about two weeks as we finished the unit. Noone ever figured out it was his middle name that we chanted everyday.. but I knew it was making his ass uncomfortable. And that was enough for me.

We never talked about it untill years later. But he never really knew how they came up with that name. When he found out it was me... he did manage to laugh about it. Trust me I still was. He really was mean guys. He deserved that and more. I just chose to ignore most of it, without really retaliating.

YEARS later, while working a waitressing job, I ended up waiting tables at a local restaurant and "him" walked in. He hadn't changed a bit surprisingly. He had however forgotten how he harrassed me everyday. We talked that day and guess what he asked me out. lol.. We dated for about 6-7 months. Throughout we shared several moments where I was like "wow" we are "connecting". He sat with me under many starry nights, and shared stories of his travels to Africa and other foriegn places. My encounters with "him" were always over the top. If we weren't in the rain, we were under the stars. He never failed to make me feel like there was a connection. As time went on "him" clearly started loosing his ever loving mind. He was rude, and impatient, demanding and just down right ignorant.

I slowly moved "him" to the friend zone. He was ANNOYING and it started to take away from the excitement I was feeling when we went on an adventures. Eventually we had to go seperate ways... so one weekend without contacting him lead to another. Until we had a talk and decided that we were not meant to be anything and let it go.

Now that I have you up to date.. let's talk about last night. "Him" was across the room and saw me and started waving and smiling. Immediately I had flashbacks of all that I just shared with you. Man it was a trip. I wanted to be angry, I wanted to be "huffy" (lol). But I just couldn't do anything but smile. I was no longer angry with "him", I had honestly forgotten about "him". So intially it was really nice to see he was alive and obviously well.

Eventually he decided to come over and say hello. Soon after he came over to greet me, he managed to do some thing dumb and not just piss me off but my girlfriend as well. I was like are you serious? As we stood there trying to enjoy our evening.. He brought this huge rain cloud down on my parade. I started to think back on how we met and how it looks like "him" will always be a thorn in my side. It seems he will always want to torture me in some way. I hadn't spoken to him in 7 years, however for somehow he managed to piss me and my friend off in less than 20 minutes. How is that possible? Because some people will never change.

Maybe our connection is harrassing one another? I didn't get a chance to really do any damage to him last night, but I did sit for aminute thinking up several ways I could spill my drink, or tell him to meet me somewhere and have him waiting.

Before he left, he asked to see me again. Now I am no village idiot, I know what that was about, but I was thinking to myself "Is this dude for real?" I just don't understand why men think we are supposed to put up with craziness, yet when we don't we are considered "bitches". I told him that he would do best to go home and NO.

I hate to be rude to folks, but just trying to be nice and relaxed usually gets you in situations like last night. I could have carried him the moment he walked up, but I don't have hate in my heart for the man. I often think about Maya Angelo's famous quote "People are always trying to show you who they are. Let them". It's a trip. I knew long ago he wasn't shit, but last night was just crazy to me. I was wrong for expecting him to be reasonalbly pleasant. And that was my fault. I should have greeted him coldly, like I still took issue with him, allowed him to call me a bitch under his breath or to my face and walk away. Instead I tried to treat "him" the way I would want to be treated. I have to remember, that not everyone can handle kindness. It has been my experience that most folks want to be abused and mistreated. It's kindness they can't handle.



thanks for reading.

Lendel