Part 7 Woe the Little People
"I am a new day rising.
I'm a brand new sky
to hang the stars upon tonight.
I am a little divided.
Do I stay or run away
and leave it all behind?"
("Times Like These" by Foo Fighters)
Part 7-1 What the Cluck?
In his pursuit of new adventures, the white rabbit came upon a fertile land littered with cornstalks. His sensitive ears detected a faint clucking sound. Chasing it like a butterfly, he eventually found a clearing where a brilliantly colored hen paced back and forth along a stretch of well-groomed soil. The creature appeared to be twice his size both in height and width. Upon her head was a golden crown accented with puffs of crimson fabric. At the very top, Anonymis could see a polished red heart. The queen hen held her tangerine head high and puffed up her buxom lemon chest as strangers--a pair of blond-haired kids in denim overalls--approached bearing gifts. Upon thanking the visitors, she reached behind a wing with her beak and presented them with a basket brimming with food.
"Thank you, Queenie," the kids chimed in unison while bowing politely.
The white rabbit's heart was greatly warmed by the scene. He felt as if this hen might be the generous change he needed. [Of course, considering his past experiences, he was not going to simply repeat himself.] He had heard stories--legends--of how rooster and hare could not get along, but this female kept "calling to him". Music from a harp which only he could hear drew him across the field to a spot within a few feet of her feathery bosom.
When the hen turned to find the drooling white rabbit before her, she could have punted him into next Tuesday for giving her such a sex-crazed look(not to mention his lack of pants). But, instead, she put both wing tips on her red hips, tossed her tangerine head side-to-side and said in a sultry voice, "You gonna just stand there and gawk, stranger? Or, are ya looking to do business with yours truly? Cuzzz if you're here to do the latter, then tell Queenie where you're from and show her the goodies. Annnd, ya better do it friendly-like. Cuz Queenie only does business with friends."
"Uuuh...Pretty rooster make nice with the kids," babbled the rabbit, still entranced by her presence. "Pretty rooster is nice lady."
"Hmph! That's 'pretty hen' to you, pal. And, don't ya forget it! Now, enough with the sweet talk. What's your story?"
Wiping the drool from his face, Anonymis gradually came to his senses and attempted to "re-present" himself with slightly better manners.
"Forgive my casual intrusion, madam."
"I'd prefer you call me MS., sugar."
"MS. Sugar--"
"No, not--" puffed the hen as she shook her head. "Nevermind. Continue."
"Your royal hen-ness, pardon this humble rabbit if he is simply distracted by your earthly beauty and considerable generosity. I am simply in awe of your nature."
With those glorified words, the queen hen was practically glowing with pride. Her buxom lemon chest brimmed fuller than ever, and her beak grew a beaming smile as she raised her tangerine head toward the sun.
"Mmm, you sure know how to talk to a lady, don't ya, sweetheart? Maybe ol' Queenie oughta take you into the hen house over there and show you around. And, maybe you will show me a thing or two as well! In fact, I insist!"
Without hesitation, she lunged at the rabbit and--scooping him up with her wings of sunflower yellow and pumpkin orange--drew him into her bosom. Marching toward a shiny hut made of sharp, red steel shingles(with a Mexican? design painted upon them), she rapidly diminished in size with a heated breath and then ducked under the canopy to place Anonymis upon a soft, pink feathery bed. He quickly noticed the lavish interior of the deceptivly small abode. Most shocking of all was the enormous kitchen area loaded with appliances and utensils.
"How's that, hun? Comfy? Now, tell Queenie everything. Or, do I have to squeeze it out of you myself? Cuzzz, I'd sure enjoy that!"
As she proceeded to share her deepest, darkest secrets and desires with him, the white rabbit was vexed. Torn between his rapidly advancing hormones(as the tiger within became extremely restless and consenting to her wishes) and personal boundaries(responding with several alarms from both the hen's actions and her stories of a richly sexual and complicated past including children of her own). He felt that at any moment this hasty stranger(blocking any exit he might have wanted) might strip him of his remaining dignity--his privacy--and have her way with him. She would have immediate access to his body AND his heart(the one in the form of a cardboard box). [How was this female any different than the temptress Jun Chikawawa?]
Before she could make her move, Anonymis cried out, "Hold it, sister! I ain't going down like that!"
Gasping at the fierce words, the queen hen let out a cool breeze and shrunk down to a size no bigger than that of the rabbit himself. Her once tantalizing eyes now trembled like pools of cool white water grazed by the wind. Her brilliant, warm colors reduced to shades of blue.
"B-But, I-I...I thought..."
"Think again, old bird!"
"Old...bird?!" she sputtered as her left eye started to twitch. Suddenly, her lungs filled with heated breath, and the queen hen puffed herself back up into her previous boisterous and buxom stature. Now, with fire in her eyes and steam streaming from her beak like a tea kettle. "Old bird?! Listen here, gringo!"
Before he could either retaliate or make amends, the white rabbit was rattled with a barrage of harsh words and pecking. Though not fond of the language being used at all, he was strangely affected by the physical assault. Instead of simply crying out in pain(as he normally would), he(oddly enough) found himself somewhat pleased by it. [What sort of twisted brainwashing was this? To think pain--though hardly the worst he had ever endured--would bring him pleasure? Ridiculous!]
He didn't have much time to enjoy it before the queen hen grabbed him by the ankle and threw him from her hut. Flying through the air, he had but a moment to reconsider his strategy before slamming face first into a thick patch of tall, green grass. It took a while to spit and paw the foul litter from his mouth. Meanwhile, he debated with himself over mixed feelings. He had been through many trials already. He had foolishly pursued (and perhaps negated) relationships that may not have been meant to be. He had failed to make many if any real, lasting friendships since he arrived. And, yet, he desired more. More from this moment. More from this hen who both gave him a taste of her passionate flame and the backside of her beak. He might have failed just then, but he would do himself a greater service to try again. To prove his courage and determination.
Rising to his feet, he puffed his own chest up as full as it could grow and groomed himself as he marched back toward the crimson hut. Hastily poking his head through the openning, he confronted the queen hen just as she was sticking a pie in one of her three ovens. The slightly humbled(in size) hen turned and gasped(once more with surprise), "What are you doing back here?!"
Fearing a repeat of her transformation into the mighty butt-kicking form she had previously donned to thrash him, the white rabbit quickly gathered his wits and proceeded to channel the best of his charms.
"Dear lovely and most generous Queenie," said Anonymis as he lowered himself on one knee and bowed his head. "Forgive my previous slip of the tongue and take me back into your mighty arms. I have only but to look upon or think of your beautiful face to forget all my troubles and give you my heart. Is it too much to ask you to tolerate my silliness?"
Tears sprung from the hen's eyes as she dropped her pie and raced to once again embrace the sweet, charming white rabbit. Her brilliant colors returned as she puffed herself up, pressing her bosom into his face.
"Oh, sweet rabbit, I knew you would come back to me and admit to your manly foolishness. You know us ladies are emotional folks. Oh, I'm so glad to have you back in my arms. Now, I'll never let you go. You are mine, you know?"
Those last few words echoed in his brain. He could almost feel the shackles forming upon his ankles. He wanted to shake his head, but it was lodged between mountainous breasts. [What was he doing?! This "woman" had children of her own. And, countless men courting her. Not to mention a nagging ex-husband. Plus, she was a smoker(with the steaming nostrils and all that jazz).] Upon coming to the realization that the "business" she had mentioned prior was sex-related, a tiny light sprung from the depths of his heart(his genuine, beating heart).
"Nnnnooooooo!!!"
Peeling himself from the crevace of her feathered cleavage, the white rabbit clawed his way to freedom and took but a second to catch his breath before striking a defensive pose to prepare himself for the inevitable. As expected, the queen hen became dwarfed, unsettled and blue before rapidly returning to her fullest of figures with flames spewing out of her nostrils.
"How dare you reject me a second time! Who do you think--"
"I think I'm not cut out to be some kids' sugar daddy! That's what I'm thinking! And, I'm not gonna let some trumped-up, sex-crazed, invasive, well-aged--though unbelievably appealing--and neurotic rooster have my heart and soul! Not on my watch, sister!"
The queen hen let loose a sound best described as a "Godzilla cry" as she flailed her wings and breathed fire toward the sky.
The rabbit had but a moment to tell himself "Oh boy!" before leaping out of the way. When she grabbed hold of his extended leg with her beak, he quickly turned and peppered/pummeled her face with clenched fists. Flying across the floor, he slammed into one of the support beams holding the canopy up overhead. A slender crack formed at the point his head struck. He took a moment to rub his sore skull and then lunged forward to knock the riled hen onto her backside. She tumbled into a rack of pots. One of which managed to flip atop her head with a "donnng!" [Amazingly, the crown did not fall out of place.] The combination of collision and vibration created a second crack in the hut's supportive structure.
"How do you like them apples, granny sex-fiend?"
"Are you calling me a whore?!?!" she bellowed with her eyes wide open and full of fury.
"Hey, don't put words in my muzzle, missy! But, if that's how you are, then..."
"How dare you--"
Realizing she would attempt to throw him from her hut once again, Anonymis decided(yes, he decided) to avoid this outcome and make his own exit.
"I dare because I care!" he interjected. "'Sorry this couldn't be resolved in a better way. But, I've had it with this game and will have the last word."
Though the rabbit had not planned it, the roof of the hut started to rattle and squeak. Both contenders looked up before Anonymis decided to respect circumstance and make a hasty retreat. He had wasted enough time, energy and words on this sultry vixen. He paid for his ride on the "merry-go-round"(thankfully not the "marry-go-round"). Now, it was time to bid it all farewell and save some skin. As the queen hen flapped her wings in a frenzy under a rain of debris, Anonymis turned tail and ran into the field of corn stalks.
He looked back to see the hut still in one piece and the queen hen back at her "old game" with new visitors joining her for a house party. He felt his head spinning in circles as he struggled to comprehend what just happened. It was as if everything and yet nothing at all fell apart at the same time. [Did he imagine the whole scene?]
He decided to put the whole experience behind him and continue his quest. He was still determined to find purpose from his presence in Thoughtsland. Friend or no friend. Love or no love. However, with his recently swollen and bruised head, he needed more time to reflect upon himself to avoid future mistakes. Like an obstruction of the brain, he seemed unable to see things clearly and be sure of what he was seeing. A feeling that was likely to repeat itself.
[To be continued...]
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