Part 7-3 One Small Problem
While rubbing his head, he trekked alongside a crystal-clear lake with the reflection of a snow-white mountain on the surface. He found himself shifting glances between the image and the real thing.
Along the way, he encountered a large, golden-brown bear with fur bristled like the quills of a porcupine. The mighty creature was more than twice his size and could easily have torn him to pieces with its massive paws and...painted nails(?)...as she trudged down the path beside him.
Hesitating to say a word, Anonymis finally blurted, "Hi, bear! Beautiful day, isn't it? Keep on trekking, right? See ya later!"
"Yes, darlin'. It is a bee-you-tiful day," the bear gasped cheerfully with a southern accent, taken surprise by the rabbit's sudden appearance and greeting.
Not sticking around for small talk(and a possible dissection), the white rabbit hastened his pace and left the bear on his trail. Before long, he was standing in front of a convenience store comprised of misshapen reddish-brown boards. Various wind-chimes and colorful decorations hung from the jagged canopy. Signs on the windows featured messages like "Unsafe Sex Is the New Safe Sex", "Age Is Just a Number" and "Buy the Burger Buddy Now!"
Out the front door, a boy wearing a fuzzy white headband, a yellow sweatshirt and extremely short red shorts ran with a glittering pink lip print on his cheek. He took one look at the rabbit, mumbled something incoherent and then huffed as he jogged out of sight. A minute later, a girl wearing a navy blue jogging suit(with a red stripe down the sides) and a fuzzy red headband over her brown hair appeared sipping something from a tall plastic cup in one hand while clinging to a shiny, plastic hamburger in the other. She gazed long and hard at the rabbit from head to toe before stalling upon his face and giving him a nod while continuing to slurp her drink.
"Nice duds, rabbit," she said, tossing her short ponytail side-to-side. "Very stylicious."
Anonymis felt his legs wobbling under him as he threw her a curious look. He sensed some sort of attraction as well as a warning sign(a red flag).
"You...dress nicely, too, little lady."
"Geez, daddio," she groaned, rolling her eyes. "Do you have to be so formalistic? My name is Squirt, and I'm not some 'little lady'."
[Which brought up a good question.]
"Just how old are you?" asked the white rabbit.
"Is that really important?"
Suddenly, she tossed her drink and plastic hamburger aside and threw herself against his tunic. Clawing the fabric with blue fingernails, she looked up into his eyes and batted her own.
"You know, fuzzball. You really are quite the hunkster."
"BWaaaah?!?!"
Feeling her warm breath tickle his whiskers, Anonymis hastily tore himself free and leapt back a few feet. Striking a defensive pose, he retorted, "You didn't answer the question! How old are you?!"
The girl let out a heavy sigh as she twirled a strand of her hair between two fingers and looked down at the ground while tapping her right foot.
"I'm twelve, okay?! But, it's no big deal! I've dated guys much older than you already!"
"Holy Hannah Montana! Twelve?!?!"
The rabbit nearly had a heart attack. His thoughts began to spin. He felt a feverish sweat forming upon his forehead.
"Yea, well the last guy didn't seem to mind it so much! He treated me like a princess! Til he...popped my cherry."
While verging on the urge to vomit, Anonymis was once more tackled by the girl.
"Oh, fuzzy! Don't die on me! I need you, fuzzynutter!"
[If only he had something in his stomach to purge.]
"Hey! What's this stuck in your back fur?" Peeling herself from his chest, Squirt fingered a Carolina blue business card. "M-Madis-on--"
The rabbit's eyes sprung wide open as he lunged at her to retrieve the card.
"Ow! Hey! Watch the nails!"
It was in fact a business card for Madison Sunshine(the mighty ace reporter, Part 2-D). Unfortunately, the print was smudged. [He deciphered her name from the distinct resemblance to the letters "M" and "S" and Squirt's own verbal confirmation.] On the back of the card, he found a slightly more legible note which--to the best of his abilities--read "Rock on. Your friend, Banana Split".
"Quick. Kid. You ever heard of this 'Banana Split'?"
Squirt pouted her lips in displeasure and said, "Don't call me 'kid'. Yea. I know of her. I think she's some sort of showgirl. She likes to dance late nights at a place called The Carmen Veranda with a group of her girl friends. It's a bit of a trek north of here. Me and my...ex...used to go there once in a while."
Cringing at the thought of a twelve year-old girl and a much older man at a night club, the white rabbit swallowed hard. Then he cleared his throat and said, "Well, it's been a slice. But, I'm outta here. Later, tater...tot."
"What?! Where' you going?! Waaait!!"
The white rabbit had intended on having time to reflect. But, this little girl was not going to leave him alone. She chased him half-way across Thoughtsland over hills and mountains, through rocky valleys and shady towns and around lakes of all shapes and sizes before he was able to escape her(or, at least, convince her to stop trying). [Rumors say she spread a rumor of her own after he disappeared from her life. She told other citizens that the reason he was not interested in her was because he was gay.]
"Carmen Veranda, here I come!"
[Though he had no idea what he would find there, he was determined to chase any link to the one who came closest to capturing his heart. Little did he know that his next encounter would prove to expose one of his deepest recent fears...addiction.]
[To be continued...]
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