| Why Did Her Mouth Have To Be So Big? |
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Why did her mouth have to be so big?
When I couldn't listen to her screeching any longer
And stuck the grapefruit in her face,
I didn't know that it would actually fit in her mouth
Or that she was allergic to grapefruit peel.
When I had to take her to the hospital,
Explain why and how events progressed
And deflect repeated verbal assaults from
Staff and patients alike
Before filling out a pile of paperwork
Which made me late for work.
When I finally made it to work
And had to re-explain events to the boss--
Which circulated like wildfire around the building
With laughter erupting repeatedly--
He didn't take it well and gave me a stern warning
Like a child who disrespected his parents
By saying something smart
That he picked up on the street.
And, when a horrific day at work--
With everyone pointing and hissing over my shoulder--
Came to an end,
I finally received the call from the hospital
Informing me that the grapefruit had been
Successfully removed and that I could come pick her up.
When I returned to the hospital and received
Another volley of heated commentary,
I was greeted with the silent treatment
(Along with the doctor holding the bill for the procedure).
[Gosh, he works fast! The check is in the mail, pal!]
Granted, her mouth was sealed with gauze and tape.
When I took her home,
We sat for a while watching TV together
Before I finally had to say something.
Unfortunately, it was the wrong thing to say
Which she let me know with a swift knee to the groin
Which left me flinching on the rec' room carpet
With choice words sputtering from my quivering lips.
Me and my big mouth.
Why did her mouth have to be so big?
--by brainstormer (another attempt at free-style/unique poetry:P)
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