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What's Wrong With Me?
What is it that Lady Macbeth says in that play of the same name? Get out, spot? Get out? That is how I feel every time I find someone pointing out what's wrong with me.
Now, don't get your panties in a snit trying to tell me not to be so hard on myself. These are obviously genuine things wrong with me that I don't like to admit. If I get called on it more than a half-dozen times in my daily life, it has to be true.
I don't like to be in the wrong. I don't like to lie or break a rule/law. I don't like it when others do these things or make excuses for them. So, why do I let it continue?
I am tired of letting the years go by and not fixing myself. I don't accept imperfections. I suppose I do set higher standards for "shlubs" than most do. If I can do better or be better, why wouldn't I want to improve and be the best? If it is too much strain on myself and my body knows this, I won't do it willingly. But, I guess until I'm in charge of the world, I don't have a say:P
So, painful as it may be, I want to know what all is wrong with me. Get it out in the open. And, then deal with it. Cry buckets of tears and scream like a baby if i must. Cut me, whip me, beat me senseless. [No computer chips, tattoos/branding or drugs/brainwashing.] But, get it over with so I can be the best person that I am able.
Not that I am one to talk, but we all should try. Shouldn't we? Or, do we continue to lax about with our vices and excuse them because life is so hard on us? Just when you think it's okay to be a "bum", someone comes along and puts you in your place. And, deny it if you will. Make excuses if you think you must. But, the boss is the boss. And, more than likely, you are not the boss.
Some days I feel like as good a guy as I can be...I still come out a monster, "shlub" or bad guy.
Posted by brainstormer on 2009-05-29 23:49:34 | Rating: | Views: 70