Hmmmm, I'd say you are just being very honest, directly honest, brutally honest? Unfortunately, sometimes this is the only way to go. The internet...not an ideal way of getting to really know those behind the screen.
Oh, and the wedding photographer.....everything automatically quadruples in price when the word "wedding" is mentioned. Homework really does need to be done in this area first or they'll get you with everything! :)

I won't comment on the photographer one, don't know what to say.

On the one about your friend, like Kaybee said, you're just being honest. Truth might hurt but it doesn't kill. What else can you do? be in a relationship with someone you're not physically attracted to? Kind'a hard, yuck! Hope you feel better soon.

I agree with the above comments,the truth hurts..yes BUT building a relationship based on guilt is way worse.

Well this is a HARD one! I guess there is nothing you can do if your not attracted to this person.
Did it go too far to remain friends? Does the other person expect more? If so I have no idea what to say. If you think you can remain friends then do so. If it's gone it's gone. You'll get your words back soon. This having you so distraught that you loose your thought process or abilty to flow your words, well that just shows you do care.

I know what your saying about exposing too much about yourself and feeling like once again you've put it out there. I to worry when things go bad with people what they will choose to do with my personal business! It's just a matter of leaving things to chance to have real friends or a more intimate relationship.

You can't help what your attracted to. It doesn't sound like a case of complete narcissism. I think it's way worse to proclaim your love for someone then drop them like a hot potato when they gain some weight!

BS, you are not shallow simply because you need a physical attraction to get into a relationship with someone. If physical attraction was your ONLY requirement and brains and personality meant zip, THAT would be shallow. I don't know how far your connection with this person has gone, but if you've made no promises to be "more than friends", you shouldn't feel guilty about not going further. I have told my "just friends" extremely intimate things about myself and never for a minute assumed that doing so suggested I wanted to get involved with them romantically. Don't be so hard on yourself.

I understand feeling shallow but I think it's normal. I think there are times when we can fall for someone that we were not initially attracted to because of their personality but we cannot make our selves fall for them. It's either there or it's not. Don't be so hard on yourself, it happens. If you started off as friends do you think you can still be friends?

I dont know whats more unbelievable. Getting 10 comments on this and learning it made a popular list...or finding adverisements among the comments including an animated one?? How the heck does someone get an animated ad in a post comment???
Fricken outrageous!!(and I mean that in a bad way)

Kaybee, yes, research should have been done, but sis went with a recommendation. And, the rest of us just end up paying because none of us were smart enough to take our own pictures. How sad is that?

I sense you or a few might have a problem with my honesty?(again)...calling it brutally honest. What am I supposed to say? Half of you here don't know what to say either. So, maybe nothing can be said...just done.

Mer, you committed that old mistake I thought I made clear:P DONT call me by those initials, please.

Now as for you and 'lit, I thought I made it clear. And, isn't it nice how you two found each other and became friends despite what Kaybee says about the internet not being the best way to meet someone. Two very different perspectives(considering she already has EasytoSay as a friend in her area and they just happen to "blog" together here).

I thought I made it clear that our chats/communication had gone so far that it was not simple friendship anymore. Flirting and the like keeps happenning and puts things out of "friendly perspective". It simply shows the effects of man and woman being friends only to find more. It is like the difference between sitting on a plastic bag stretched between two brick walls and sitting on a stone bench. Eventualy the bag will give way, and the person would fall through and feel something different. The stone bench never changes(normally). That is the difference between a same sex or stable friendship and one with two people of the opposite sex who spend enough time together to develop other feelings.

And, as I said, the trouble seems to reside around physical and "historical" quams. And, I can't say the physical has anything to really do with my "standards". Because, I have been attracted to many types.

Oh yea, I forgot to mention, I got 10 comments but NO notice about them. What is wrong now with this thing? I really miss the old comment system.

Ineed_peace, yer right...and I said that a few times to myself and her already. I said things could change and suddenly I would see her differently...I think I am greatly affected by the difference between what I see and what I hear/read. If I put the two/three together, Im sure the feelings would change either for the better or worse. The only thing I can relate this to is an episode of Eek! the Cat(if anyone has a clue what Im talking about or is curious, ask).

Aaaand...that last comment left me a lil creeped out. Because, I know someone who married a Sam and ran into a situation I dont care to discuss...but that is very creepy. And, he sounds like me...also creepy. And, if you tell me he is a Sagittarius as well, I will scream like a lil girl and run the other way.

Aside from all that, I didnt mind the "book" or the nice cocoa and marshmellows thought.

brainstormer....I have no issues with being honest. By saying brutally honest, I'm meaning truly honest, outwardly honest, VERY honest...simply honest! :)

Hey Stormy,
I agree ... if there is no PHYSICAL attraction then it dies in the water.. However if you are genuinely friends with her (I'm assuming it is a HER) then why can't you remain chat buddies?? If you pretended to still be keen then well that's being shallow.

As for your comment about Kaybee and I knowing each other, that perplexed me... wonder what the relevance is here? or whether you just took the opportunity to have a dig so I'd bite??

We've known each other a lot longer, and I think most people would agree platonic total friendship unions, don't have a physical element .. infact most people just relate to each other so what if she's brunette and I'm blonde?
So what if another friend is short and I am tall???

I don't know maybe I've missed the point.

Brainstormer, I will comment on the wedding photography... those prices are very typical of what wedding pictures cost. It didn't just happen to your family. Those prices sound very competitive. Professional photography is not a cheap market, and usually is one of the most expensive parts in the wedding. Not counting the reception of course. :)

About this other problem. I personally don't think it's right to seek out relationships on line, develope a special close relationship, BUT, then discover what this girl looks like, and realize you are not physically attracted to her, and now you are torn as to what to do, so you write a post about it, hoping for advice. Like I mentioned to you months ago, I think you would have much better luck in the relationship department through a dating site. You see pictures right off the bat, THEN get to learn more about the person, and situations like this will be avoided. I don't want to see you hurt...but I also don't see different results for you when you don't change your patterns. Does that make sense?
I also am a firm believer in making life happen for yourself. You just can't wait around for it to happen TOO you. If you want it, go out a get it. If is just too short to sit around and spend all our time "waiting for our future". We live once. Get up, go grab the bull by the horns, and forget any fears that have ever held you back. If you fail, whoopie ding, brush yourself off, and try again. You only fail if you give up. Give up the search for the perfect mate for right now, and focus on YOU. When people see your confidence in yourself and your will power to make something of your life, the rest will piece of cake. You won't need anyone's advice.
God Bless!

Yes, Easy...if you couldn't see the use of the word "her" a few times or the mention of a man and woman being friends...then you sure missed the point. And, no, I have no desire to start tensions or rile up a fight with you ladies. Again, you did not get what I was saying...and I dont feel like explaining.

Keepdreaming, you reaffirm my wasting my time online. I have been thinking about that again. I do all this for what? Not for what I seek, really. So, if others want to waste time and think this gives them any real comfort? Fine. But, I guess I waste my time the more I spend here. But, like so many, will that change? Probably not til Im thoroughly sick of myself.

Dating sites? Not an option Im fond of. Putting me in a lineup of 10 other guys all for the attention of the same girl knowing Im not a hotty to most I meet. I am tired of being one in a million going after some hoop dream woman I take an interest in from afar whether it is on a site or in my face. If she is scoping out 10 other guys and comparing notes because she can while the guys are the ones who have to do all the "applying"(like for a job)? Forget it. If my profiles dont speak for themselves and get no attention other than what I dont want, then its not worth it either.

I usually put in more effort than anyone I care to hear from puts in. So, frankly maybe what I seek is not in my reach. And, I could spend the rest of my life listenning to different people's advice only to end up having to sort myself out anyway... So why bother talking to anyone? I am what I am. God bless? tsh, we will see when this life is all over and the chips are counted, wont we...

Thanks for reassuring me I don't need to put in as much effort as I have in the past here. I will try not to waste my time and everyone's precious reading time so they can spend it on much more worthy posts.

When I realize I am Superman or Jesus women will flock to me? When I can perform miracles and stroke my "hot" bod because that's just how good about myself I feel? How realistic is that? Cripes, just keep telling me I smell bad and have issues til I magically turn myself into something one woman wants as a whole instead of liking just part. That's nice. I'm my own worst enemy maybe. But, others around me aren't much better.

Hey,ease up on yourself. When you find the right girl, you will see her through the eyes of love. As she will see you,and that is all that counts.

I agree with circe Brainstormer. I mean i know you aren't trying to be "shallow", it's just sometimes it's harder online. People either click or they don't. and sometimes, people can move past the physical part. but sometimes, it's really hard.

it's not a bad thing unless you make it that way. I mean if your not going to continue down the road, if she seems like a really great person, to do anything, then yes, that CAN be a bit of a problem, and that CAN be a bit shallow, but you know that :p

if looks is what you want also in a relationship, then don't do the online thing unless you see pictures first for yourself.
if not, then don't start anything with anyone and remain friends, no harm done :)

dont beat yourself up over it, if you have any doubts now about this "relationship" forming, then maybe it's not meant to be with this person.

i really hope things work out, but incase they dont work out like you might have hoped, i atleast hope you can gain another friendship on here :)

Sorry about the initials. I just started reading your posts recently and was not, in fact, aware of your aversion to same.