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| Do You Think He Is Tired of Trying?
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I'm a rather apprehensive/shy, mildly anti-social guy who has a very difficult time approaching women. You never know when the "bomb will drop" and something will pop up that you don't want to hear or see. And then, somehow you have to pick yourself up and move on. Here is a story about how the days go by:
So, I had a lil talk with the "big guy"** one Sunday morning at his place(well, one of his rental properties, anyway). I asked for a lil help in the matter. I like to think I can reach Him at any time. And, I think my call made it through...at least to His voicemail.
Anyway, the next day, I swear he sent me a beautiful brunette. She had wavy, chocolate brown hair pulled back into a curly ponytail which swung across the shoulders of her grey sweatsuit. I could tell she had a nice figure under the baggy clothes, and she looked so cozy. Her fluffy bangs danced atop her intellectual forehead, and she had one of the most beautiful smiles I have ever seen. It was too bad I couldn't see her eyes under those sunglasses she was wearing. And, she was a bit short. But, I felt this vibe like I should have talked to her. But, I simply choked and mubbled a "hi" with a weak wave as I walked past.
Then Tuesday, I was at work when this lemon-blonde angel walks by in a red pin-stripe white blouse with a dark grey skirt and black high heels. Her thick, straight hair was just above the shoulder and curled under the chin in a way that the tips pointed like fingers to her smile. Her glossy pink lips seemed to wave me in for a landing. I thought her eyes were bright blue at first, but--when I took a closer look--they were more of a muddled greenish brown. She had nice freckles across her nose, too. She made a quick habit of clearing her throat while stroking her hair behind her ears. I was contemplating making a move, but she was approached by this tall, well-groomed guy with a military haircut before I could say a word. I didn't think he was with her but also didn't take any chances. I shrugged it off and went about my work.
So, now it was Wednesday. And, little did I expect to get that heart-tugging vibe from a tall, black woman. When I say tall, I mean she was what some might call an "amazon". We are talking WNBA here. But, she was an African goddess. And, my heart was being tugged in her direction. As our eyes met, I felt my mouth openning as if to let out something. But, I must have stepped on a shoelace or something. I nearly fell into her before I stopped, blushed, excused myself and walked aside. I couldn't imagine how that might have gone differently had I actually been able to say something. The strange thing was that I swore I heard someone smacking their forehead.
Thursday, I was starting to feel the week wearing on me. Nonetheless, I perked up upon seeing the most stunning Asian princess I had ever set my eyes upon. Her thick, silky black hair swished just above her hips. Her figure was properly concealed by a very modest yet appealing outfit. A white suit coat of sorts with big black buttons and well-pressed matching pants with polished black heels. Her face was of the finest porcelain. Her eyes were bright with a seductive flame yet tame and reserved. She had the slightest hint of moisture upon her rose petal lips. She probably was in a high position in some office building. She made me feel like a floor washer just by looking at her. When she came my way, I nearly melted on the spot. I was ecstatic because she apparently was my exact height(by estimation)! [But, without the heels she might have been...oh well.] Our eyes met, and she smiled. I think I was smiling back. I can't be certain because I was so warm and preoccupied with my thoughts which were swirling so fast. I kept looking at her as she went about her business and I went about mine. But, before I found the guts to say anything, she was gone. I even tried to seek her out just in case she had not gone far. No luck.
So, now comes Friday. I was looking forward to my quiet, sunny weekend off. I didn't have any plans of running into anyone. But, the big guy didn't plan on taking a day off. He sent me a rather cute, innocent looking young woman with glasses and long, wavy, golden blonde hair. She was a bit pudgy and short(which I strangely didn't mind too much). As soon as she laughed at something this other lady next to her said, I knew I was hooked. She was positively glowing with appeal. I felt rather safe to make my move. And THEN, she pulled out a cigarette. Ouch. Walked right into that one. I don't think that was intended. I don't know why I thought she gave me that vibe I get. Sure, I could try to work it out and get her to quit. But, I don't want to be an "enforcer". Oh well.
Saturday finally arrives. I was eager to see a new movie that just started showing at the mall theater. When I get there, I see a young woman who had to be a model approaching from afar. Her looks were just too flawless and fitted together. She had long brown hair(down to her hips) held back with a black-and-white spotted headband with sunglasses resting on top. She wore a silky black-and-white striped shirt(almost like a soccer goalie) tucked into a classy, basic black skirt which shifted sharply with her swinging hips. I could tell she was wearing tinted stockings as I glanced down at her polished black heels with big silver buckles on the toes and smaller ones on the ankle straps. The matching bracelets she wore made a clinking sound as she swung her right arm. She put her right hand to her head as she muttered a few words while turning aside before looking at me from top to bottom as she passed. She had one of those wireless phone gizmos on her ear. I noticed eyeshadow on her lids and the color of her lipstick. She stood eye-to-eye with me. I just wasn't a fan of the heavy makeup. Otherwise, she was absolutely gorgeous. As I glanced at my watch, I realized that I was running late for my movie. After the movie, my mind was too busy to be looking out for potential mates(as it often was after such mental stimulation). I just went home and worked on a review and some craft projects I had been contemplating.
So, it's back to the big guy's place on Sunday. I get the feeling that He isn't too happy. Well, I am not so happy either. Did I miss something? I don't bother to ask for the same help again. I don't want to be a nag. I had to go grocery shopping afterward. Little did I remember how busy that place can be. It was buzzing with people. And, among the chatty families and bunches of "goofball teenie boppers", I spot a number of beautiful women. It is like a cornocopia of loveliness. [As anyone who knows me would know, I am not the best at making decisions when there are many tempting options.] One after another walk by me as if to say, "Do I suit your needs, sir?" I am speechless and certainly red in the face. Just when I think I have found one whom I can try with, I discover by the assembly of her friends(all giggling and using the word "like" often in an exciteable way) that this lovely, chocolate-haired young woman is actually TOO young(as in illegally young). [Another of my flaws. Picking girls/women who are gorgeous at a glance but turn out to be way too young. And, don't give me a speech about "age is just a number".]
Well, back to the Monday grind. It's a bit difficult to wake up to face work as usual. I was so tired that I didn't expect to find anyone worth oogling. I laughed to myself as I started to imagine things if they were different. I heard a song in my head and went with it. Just as I was starting to sway into a dance, SHE appeared. [The fashionable young woman I saw at the mall! Only this time, she was not wearing any of that heavy makeup! What was she doing at my workplace?!] I was completely stunned. And, just when I thought I wouldn't cross paths with her, I did! She sort of threw me a smile in a far more shy and less aloof way as she brushed a strand of hair over her left ear. [What is with women doing that anyway?] I blushed, nodded and whispered a "hi" at her before she glanced down toward my pants. Suddenly her smile faded into a disturbing look and my heart stopped. I could feel the blood drain from my face before I glanced down. I assumed I had a spot somewhere. Then I felt a little awkward between the legs. Something out of place. It turned out, my zipper was open. I nearly fainted on the spot. I was one step from asking the big guy to shoot me right then and there.
It wasn't any easier coming back Tuesday after that whopper of a boner(pun intended). Luckily, I didn't run into any more goddesses. Just a rather nice looking older woman with glasses and short brass-blonde hair wearing a casual ensemble of grey printed tshirt and blue jeans who caught my eye. Usually, I wouldn't bother to look at an older woman(not that much older anyway), but this one had a spark of life in her that I could not deny. I felt that strange connection vibe again. But, I decided to "come to my senses" and admit that I had no chance. Besides, she probably was married, divorced or widowed already. More baggage than I, a "green man in the game", needed to tackle.
Wednesday, I was happy to get busy with my work. I felt I had done my fair share and a good job. I spotted another older woman that I liked as I was getting off. [Off from work. Don't roll your minds in the gutter like I am sure you are thinking.] She had short reddish-brown hair(typically which I don't like because I prefer thick, long hair) and was rather fit for her age(trying not to pick a fight or get beaten for calling her "older"). She wore a white tanktop which showed off her clean shoulders and a nice upper body. She had a spark in the look upon her face that told me there was plenty of "fire" still in this woman. But, again, I felt crazy for even entertaining the idea. I wanted someone who wouldn't make me uncomfortable with her "history", or "level of experience". As I sort of followed her to a sales counter where she bought herself some candy, I soon discovered(by word of mouth and a daring peek at her ID) that she was in fact MY age(!!!). I thought I might die from the shock and confusion. [How could she be MY age? I look like a kid compared to her.]
Thursday, I was shaking off yesterday's "mindbender" when I spotted a lovely young woman with reddish-brown hair in a simple ponytail. [Anyone who knows me knows I can be a sucker for ponytails(as well as long hair in most cases).] She was wearing a rather casual outfit(a green-and-white striped rugby shirt with blue jeans). She leaned over to reach something on a lower shelf. I found myself looking at her butt which I don't favor to do. Yet, it gave me a strange sense of comfort. [I've noticed this with many people with whom I encounter. They seem to feel it is safer to approach me from behind than face-to-face.] I slowly crept toward her and tried to think of something witty to say. I took a breath and laid out the carpet of words. She turned and smiled as she chuckled at my little joke. I nearly overheated as my eyes met with her sparkling emeralds. She had a cute, freckled pug nose(which is a feature I adore as well). I was starting to hear the watchtower give me clearance for take-off when--suddenly--a tiny voice called out "mommy". I turned and looked down wide-eyed at a tiny girl(as tall as my kneecaps) with hair like her mother's in two big, curly pigtails. The little gnome-child was soon followed by a tall, lanky guy with jet black hair who was quite the slim "Ken doll". He flashed a beaming smile at his wife(I assume) and casually "pushed"(more like simply walking "through") me aside without even a simple "excuse me". [Don't you hate how people don't seem to say that anymore? No one seems to care to say "excuse me" when they want to get by.] Boy, did I call THAT one wrong. And, in my gut, I guess that I knew it. It was as if the big guy was calling out to me, "What are you doing? Not THAT one!" I tried to not let if phase me. I anticipated my lunch break.
Just as I was heading to the back room, I spotted a breathtakingly beautiful Middle Eastern woman. [My gut instinct is to call her "arab", but I have learned that such a term can be taken offensive and inaccurate from experience.] I could tell she had great hair even though it was bound tightly into a conservative bun. There was one strand dangling over each ear and one from atop her forehead(a sight which often gives me goosebumps for some reason) which she repeatedly had to swat aside. Her surprisingly blue eyes were absolutely stunning with thick black lashes. Her nose was on the large side, but it fit her looks so well. Her lips were full and lush like the flesh of a plum tucked under its skin. Her skin was a unique olive tone with just the right number of dark spots in all the right places. Around her swan-like neck was a spotted black-and-buttermilk silk scarf tied off to one side. She wore a sharp pressed suit jacket over a knee-length skirt of the same color(which was something between a canary yellow and a desert sand color). Her calves were some of the finest I had ever seen. [Do I use that expression "the finest I had ever seen" too often?] And, upon her feet were a pair of dull black heels(possibly fabric) which were quite stylish though not necessarily the most appealing. Overall, she looked like the Saudi Arabian equivalent of Diana Prince(Wonder Woman in disguise). My heart was doing jumping jacks within my chest. Clearly, she was "out of my league". I thought I could never be with such a goddess. Surely, there was some Adonis in the world for her(if she had not found him already). She was just too amazing for one such as I.
I struggled through lunch(hard to swallow when you are that awe-struck), finished my shift and left work. On the way home, I stopped at a McDonald's for a bite. The girl at the service window looked quite similar to the mother I had seen earlier(only her hair was more wavy and a brighter red-orange color). She flashed me a humble, warm smile as she asked me for my order. Once more, I was smitten. But, upon reliving the previous encounter with the woman--who was clearly not the same one standing before me--in my mind, I was unable to "carpe diem"(seize the day). My face turned red, and my confidence fizzled as I collected my order and "slithered" away. She was probably too young, but I swore I heard someone cry out "D'oh!'
As the days and weeks continued to fly by, similar encounters continued to present themselves to me. It never became any easier to approach a single one. And, the more I felt like I was turning them down or passing them by, the more I felt the pressure from above. As if He was truly trying to make things work despite my ignorance or failure to try. I could just picture Him becoming terribly frustrated with me. He pulls at his hair before cracking his knuckles and wiggling his fingers as if preparing to play some "wicked" symphony on a grand piano or pipe organ.
Then, just like a violent thunderstorm, He began to "launch" women at me with "rapid fire" like a gattling gun and toss in a few more like grenades. Blonde, blonde, blonde, blonde! Redhead, redhead! Red, red, red, red, red, red, red! Brunette!...BOOM! Brunette!...KA-BLAM! Asian, asian, asian, asian! Spanish, spanish, spanish, spanish! Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate! And, one after another, I found some reason to avoid them or let them pass by me(as well as leap at the wrong ones which were not intended for me).
I continue to imagine Him wiping a sweaty brow as He tries to "work a miracle" with this solitary soul. But, I have to ask. Do you think He might be (getting) tired of trying?
**big guy=God; giving the higher power a male image in this case; not necessarily a guy, though.
[Disclaimer: All events in this story were partially--if not completely--fictional. The work/free time schedule is not accurate. No real names are mentioned. Legal fine print mumbo jumbo...jargon...etc. etc....yada yada...infinity plus one.]
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Posted by brainstormer on 2008-04-07 03:07:07 | Rating: | Views: 443
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You'll meet someone sweetie, and you'll keep them
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Posted by southernsun
on 2008-04-07 03:57:36
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man maybe we should figure out the science behind the movie 'weird science'
i think your vision combined with just the right illegal technological information, we can create a most gorgeous woman!
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Posted by Slash
on 2008-04-07 21:16:05
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BlueMoon, no one said I DONT look at their boobs:P I just usually don't make an effort lest I be accused of staring:) Waist up, I always say, is what I notice for the most part. I usually don't take/have the time to study the shoes:P Unless they are standing still and I am off at a distance.
Thanks, southernsun:P
Slash, what have you been drinking and/or smoking?:P I just saw that movie--or the terrible remake/sequel/TV series--at Best Buy. I had such a huge crush on Kelly LeBrock back then:P I dunno, man. Nuclear weapons are dangerous:P But, thanks for the compliment:P
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Posted by brainstormer
on 2008-04-07 22:52:25
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Oh, almost forgot again...so which one does that make me? Anthony Michael Hall or the other guy(how sad I don't recall his name:D)?:P
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Posted by brainstormer
on 2008-04-07 22:53:57
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I belive it is purely preperation you go through. I too have the whole shy/anti-social thing with women and know where you're coming from about suffering 'beauty-bombardment'. In my experiences, you start to feel the want/need for a mate (for lack of a better term) and you begin noticing a lot more women, even ones you normally wouldn't. It comes to the point where you're screaming in your head to be with someone. This does not imply lowering of standards or desperation. You're simply looking at ALL the options, added that this is kind of an instinct thing. We are, after all, animals. Anyways, you will become so frustrated you'll give up on the matter and consider life as a Tibetin monk. When that happens, you'll be drinking your mocha, turn around, and there she will be. The rest will just come naturally.
Take note, this is only theory and is undergoing its third testing so.. good luck.
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Posted by spiritualcoma
on 2008-04-08 03:06:48
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I have to agree with Spiritualcoma. When you least expect it , you and The One will continue to cross paths until you get it.
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Posted by Nubian
on 2008-04-08 12:45:05
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oh dont get me wrong. its a terrible movie. but the idea of it! genious!!!
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Posted by Slash
on 2008-04-08 13:12:07
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Coma, now you have me thinking about those Propell fitness water commercials:P Imagine women raining like "cats and dogs"...every drop that hits the ground splashes up as a woman...and all I can do is groan with frustration for trying to find the courage to make a choice:P
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Posted by brainstormer
on 2008-04-08 18:54:43
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What I need is an Axe body spray experience:P I love those commercials:D
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Posted by brainstormer
on 2008-04-08 18:57:01
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Hey love,
R u sure ur not just horny? See? I can be very offensive! Didn't mean that! Ur not looking in the right places. Maybe u should look right here! ty
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Posted by dreampower
on 2008-04-09 16:11:50
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I'm also frightened to talk to girls sometimes.
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Posted by SubTomato
on 2008-04-10 19:03:04
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In my experience, shy people always get the sweetest boyfriends/girlfriends. Being shy is the most charming quality. You are going to meet the best person sometime soon because you have that great quality.
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Posted by bittersweetb
on 2008-04-26 00:15:08
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