| brainstormer's Blog Comments |
| Posted in
New Here on 2007-10-31 21:19:57 |
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And, the stickman beats me to another post:P And, I thought I had free time:P
Finally someone with an ounce of caution. How did you find out about this place, blue eyes? How did ALL of these women find out about this place?:P Too bad most of them are not what I am looking for:) And, while I am here, let me get your opinion...what draws someone into doing the whole "this is what happenned to me today" in public thing? It feels like a very scary skinny dipping pool where no one cares if they catch something:P
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| Posted in
TODAY... on 2007-10-31 20:57:43 |
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Did the Great Bedspread make an appearance?:P I guess not; otherwise it would have brought you candy and toys...and something pink.
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| Posted in
working on 2007-10-31 10:16:23 |
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One suggestion, don't use italics:P That really messed with my eyes because they didn't smooth out the font.
I agree that if people could devote their time and energy to living life the way they dream it--with mutual help from others with other skills when needed in the spirit of bartering--they would be more at ease and warmer toward each other. But, those days that I imagine seem so long ago when there were fewer people on the planet maybe. Can we go back to that simple life? Or are we so caught up in the technological and materialistic modern world that there is no turning back? Can all we do be to simply grasp at straws? Cling to hopes and dreams with little or no belief in them coming true without a large source of winnings/money? I, for one, feel increasingly suffocated when I think of how fast the world is changing and devouring resources--sometimes with wanton destruction.
Now, look at what I was inspired to write here:P But, if I get lost in my writing(or cartoons, movies, drawing, astrology books, etc.), it becomes increasingly difficult for me to come back to reality. It is like walking through a door into a sunny field of tall green grass with birds chirping sweetly in the distance...and then realizing I have to go back through to a dark, grim world with grey skies and people crying out in terror...cars honking and gunfire...because I have duties to do to maintain my legal right to exist on the planet. How many of us would want to or be easily able to go back to the grim reality? But, IN reality...well, that sunny place...does it exist? Can we stay/escape there? Are we talking drugs, suicide or other means of manifesting the idea? Sometimes I wonder how good it is to have my imagination if it hurts so much to compare the delights I imagine to the horrible truths I run into when I face reality.
Think about it.
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| Posted in
Picking A Blog With Blogging on 2007-10-31 09:29:14 |
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Your statement, 2rivers, reminds me of that movie I reviewed recently;) And, in a best case scenario, the internet can be a valuable tool for improving world connections by giving people access to contacts that may yet be difficult/costly to reach by phone(along with the ability to send files/photos, etc.). If all was good, we all would be communicating in a friendly manner and actually doing some good for the world, preserving resources and the environment, etc.
But, it seems as optimistic as I or anyone wants to be, there are always events popping up that put "dark clouds" into the mix. Internet predators and hackers among the rest. People and events that put fear into good people's hearts and thus cause many to change their outlook on the tool(sometimes spoiling the honesty and heart that could be expressed/shared online with ideas like "none of this is real", "everyone lies/fakes" and/or "no one takes this seriously"). And, if we ignore the dark clouds, will they go away? Will we always be safe? Or, is it better to be safe than sorry? How many mistakes must one make before they get wise? Now, not everyone will be a victim of the same fates. But, isn't it better to go into something with a defense plan?
Again, maybe I am just being a little paranoid(?)/"parentally" overprotective, but think of the unwitting souls that could be saved. Also, on an omnipotent perspective--as this site reminds me of "Bruce Almighty" with his prayer email overload--doesn't it get a bit suffocating weeding through screens of "omg, like I didn't know my bff Jill was fooling around with my fb John", "Uh, hi. My first blog...gosh I am bored and don't know what to say...but everyone is doing it, so I guess I will, too" and some other painfully personal stories to which I find it hard to read/respond to find something to which I CAN respond. You might say, "Hey, there's a search bar." But, I haven't had the best of luck with it unless I am looking for a particular ID or post title, and in that way I would probably miss a number of people with cases I don't think of that could use my input.
For those who do this sort of counselling--whether less than, as much or more than I do--are any of you considering being online counselors?:P I start to think--when I have so many coming to me sometimes spilling their guts and me coming to places like this to get out some of my own less personally painful and more inspired/motivated thoughts--why not make this a "business"?[Though, I hate to put a price on something, especially if it is a means of helping others. But, if I gave up my "day job" to do this, I would certainly need a means of income to pay the bills:P I may yet make a separate article about this.]
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| Posted in
Pornoween! on 2007-10-30 22:20:55 |
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I think you are the kind of guy holding a bible while sweating under the white collar:P That or--based on how you said it's a favorite holiday--you could be a good faker posing as a priest.
You are fresh into college and finding yourself tempted away from the priesthood by women in black. As an awareness piece, this may be a fair start. As for what does God have in on this regarding the appeal of women who may choose to dress "slutty"...I would refer you to Genesis:P The part about the first man and woman and the snake. It's simply temptation. And, in this crazy mixed-up world where one cannot clearly decide between a life of materialism and technology, becoming sexual animals and living moral lives according to one's own disciplined religion...I would probably explode if confronted with a costume party like the one at the local college where everyone dressed up and hung out in the streets outside campus(and cops were on guard everywhere)and found girls dressed up as if it was Mardi Gras and ready to flash their boobs.
I have faced my own severe separation from "society" by sticking to my beliefs and not partaking in what the rest of my class considered common. But, I guess that is the riddle of life and that tree of wisdom. We each choose a path...some of us leaders, more of us followers/lemmings/simon-says people...and who is to say which is the right path? I simply don't want to suffer from my choice or end up in another bad habit.
Think about it.
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| Posted in
Round 1 - Here goes nothing! on 2007-10-30 21:07:03 |
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Ok, good morning. We are going to have a great jump today. Now, do you have your exit buddy? Be sure you have your exit buddy. Now grab on to him, and here we go...
A lil random Finding Nemo moment about sky diving brought on by the start of your statement. Then I got to the part about the husband and dogs and house and perfectionism overload. I think you are lucky to just be married. If not for that, you would have no anchor and be cast to the sea of your many interests without a grounding force. You barely make mention of him as you stress about the other things. So, he is not a concern; he is your rock.
But, clearly, you are a more successful me tackling way more than I could. I cracked under far less pressure but also being a perfectionist. I wanted a 4.0--but only was able to experience that in grade school. And, everyone said I was so smart. After learning about astrology, I realize there was a misunderstanding and that I am not as smart as people seemed to expect of me. But, what is so pathetic is that I cannot even face the pressures of most people. While, YOU are tackling so many things...and its taking its toll. If you cannot see the red light flashing, then either you are blind or you vent for no reason. IMO, I would say you need to lighten the load. But, for all I know, you might just be blowing hot air.
Think about it.
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| Posted in
all alone. on 2007-10-30 20:23:48 |
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Now HERE is someone who needs to reach out. Not just another journal entry about a boy or an affair. You are not alone, trtla(awkward name). I know someone else who moved away in a similar way but under different circumstances...and part of me feels I need to do the same. But for the same reasons you are experiencing--and more--I am afraid to try. I don't care for my family as much as I could. I don't have friends or a girlfriend. But, even to think I have nothing to lose...to go away from those I know...I fear being unable to connect thrown into a batch of strangers. It would be no better than school days when I focussed on my work/duties and couldn't lift my head or dare to go out on my own to get something started unless I felt so political about it. I ask myself what do I do and how would I survive?
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| Posted in
Picking A Blog With Blogging on 2007-10-30 19:47:57 |
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Heh. I was not aware it was so til I discovered it later:P I think it makes for an interesting situation nonetheless. I may do it more often...just for fun:P.
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| Posted in
You Just Can't Find A Good Peanut Anymore on 2007-10-30 17:52:14 |
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Im watching some pretty good Peanuts cartoons right now:P
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| Posted in
100 BITS OF USELESS S**T BOUT ME on 2007-10-29 21:00:49 |
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You dressed as a trash can too? Interesting. Gorp is a snack mix they have school kids' parents make for them with Cheerios, raisins, chocolate chips, etc. I have learned some shocking news denied me in a personal letter here. Hmm...
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| Posted in
Just want to be happy. on 2007-10-29 15:48:39 |
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I wish you would have been a lil more explicit. I can't say much, but I too feel very much unfulfilled and endangered in this world. Every day there is a trial.
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| Posted in
New Type of Service on 2007-10-29 15:20:12 |
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THAT would be difficult over distances. If just a local service, people could make a mutual meeting to trade tickets. Otherwise, what is to stop someone from saying they have tickets to something they do not and making a bogus trade? And, a fee? Fahgetaboutit. You got my hopes up that you had some refreshing idea:P
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| Posted in
Possible movie idea. on 2007-10-29 15:09:49 |
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The start was quite good...but once you got to the gruesome deaths and trickery of the "loonies", it all falls apart. Try putting in more character depth to each of the other inmates--sort of like other prison movies(Shawshank Redemption/One Flew Over the Coo-Coo Nest). Have the mutiny, but with less tragic/intense death and more tragedy perhaps(say one or more get grabbed and injected with something to contain them or turn them against each other. Consider making unique, distinguishable characters the way they do in animated films to sell toys but for the purpose of registering the character with the viewer's memory(a bunch of inmates who act or look alike won't be remembered). Another key factor, a punchy title...not like some of the lame ones released recently--some on good movies.
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| Posted in
*LONG INHALE....THEN SIGH* on 2007-10-29 14:59:22 |
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I think you were struggling with this one:P [And, you didn't respond to my other letter. Something happen?] I am not an 'Oz fan. Christmas Story, yes. The claymation/stop-animation holiday films are okay...but I feel they are becoming a bit candy coated for me--even though I still appreciate the artwork. Yea, you ran out of ideas on 4 :P I'll add National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation(perhaps my all time favorite holiday movie) as well as the Garfield(and California Raisins--if you can find it) Christmas. You also hinted but didn't list the Charlie Brown/Peanuts collection. But, those too are starting to lose their appeal. I think the Pumpkin one may still be my favorite. The Christmas one has its moments. The Thanksgiving with popcorn and toast is just sad:P
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| Posted in
sometimes she's right on 2007-10-29 14:27:10 |
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She wouldn't happen to be a Sagittarius would she?:P I know people like her. I too find it a bit invigorating...but it gets old afterwhile. If you feel it becoming a bit grating, I'd be concerned. Fun is fun, but I get tired hearing the same song every day at work. I also don't like one way streets that never end. Turnabouts are fair play.
Think about it.[And, good luck:P]
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| Posted in
Ever wondered?? on 2007-10-29 13:45:47 |
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I think some people need to get less self-conscious about such minor things:P Eye gunk? Big deal. No worse than regular boogers:P And, even those...eventually we all have to clean things out. The key word is discretion. But, if its an "emergency"(when in pain or unable to function)...ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Am I right? So, no worries 'bout the eye gunk, okay?
Think about it.
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| Posted in
Is the world out to get you? on 2007-10-29 13:39:10 |
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I dunno why a lawyer would get involved or why in-laws can be so bad, but I DO sometimes feel like Friday the 13th doesn't just come once a year. There are days/weeks when I have felt like nothing goes right or too many accidents occur. This last week felt like that. I snapped at an online friend I have chatted with sparsely over 6 years for threatenning my privacy and flooding my mailbox with lengthy messages--some repetitive. Suddenly, I am a hurtful person and unforgiveable. That along with a few bumps and pains has made the last week rather miserable.
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| Posted in
Why marriages and relationships generally fail on 2007-10-28 20:10:02 |
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I simply think it's a matter of two people who rushed into something they thought they had to be/do discovering they acted a lil too soon. Also, I am starting to doubt the parameters of marriage. If so many are failing...maybe we need new terms.
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| Posted in
ahhh !!! on 2007-10-28 19:39:44 |
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A goth baby? sounds like some cheesy asian cosplay gig:P No offense. I think the hobo was a better idea--but still a bit common, blah. I have a current desire to go as a ninja of some sort. I have dressed as Sherlock Holmes, Spider-Man, the White Rabbit, a trash can, a black cat, a harpy, a pumpkin and a mugger--the costumes I can remember.
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| Posted in
A New Passion? Can Horoscopes really tell you futu on 2007-10-28 19:23:33 |
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I just so happen to study western and chinese astrology--casually. I think there is some fact to the science of collecting info on the patterns of those under a certain sign. As for poetry, I find my poetry only brings out my sadness. So, I avoid it til I have happier experiences to inspire something livelier.
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| Posted in
Loss of Inspiration on 2007-10-28 17:50:27 |
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Sounds like a story so dry, I need water:P and lots of it. I made one short visit to western or central Europe but at an age past your own. You are ahead of the game. I too need inspiration sometimes---and sometimes to FINISH a story, not invent one. I HATE technical or factual reports. I HATE/HATED term/research papers. I'm trying to write a few stories/novels.
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| Posted in
Lonely Boulevard--where to from here? on 2007-10-28 17:27:35 |
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Ok, Madam Buddha-Hilda Ghandi:P So, when I become a full-fledged Jesus able to love everyone unconditionally--beyond the average person--only then will I attract what I seek? So, til then, I help people and attract the vampires and zombies out for a piece of me. Nice. Oh, and let's not forget the porno sites that just made an appearance here before I deleted their advertisement...I mean, my gawd! Is there ANY online spot safe from that crap??!! This is MY personal blog! Go fence your flesh and viruses elsewhere!
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| Posted in
life? thought provoking? on 2007-10-27 22:06:10 |
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I just thought of this...in the Bible, people died as well under God's skies. Sometimes in a more gruesome way than most crimes today. I'm not out to be a preacher; but realize that life and death, tragedy and miracle have been a part of life a long time.
And, then I think of a Bible story about Pentecost when the apostles were in a building...the Holy Spirit made its presence known...and when someone looked outside, there were clusters of people speaking different languages. It has made me think of all the different religious paths people take in this world and how angry one can get at another. Which religion is right? I can't say. But, I am trying to be open to the general idea of a higher power instead of a specific name for him/her/it or the ancient beliefs of multiple gods. One higher power, no specific name to divide us. Afterall, in the Christian/Catholic religion, Jesus was created in OUR image and man is to treat one another as if He was among us/one of us. So, I hope we all can find community in this thought and not be so divided. It will not be easy--that I am certain.
As for all the deaths in the world, the tragedies. Tragic as they are, can you imagine a world--as it is said in that newer song(I think it is by Nickelback)"will we see the day when nobody dies?"--where no one dies? If population continues to boom from both wanted and unwanted pregnancies...where will everyone go? We are already looking at issues of pollution, global warming and now perhaps water or resource shortages. How long before wars break out over who lives and who dies on the planet in any case? How long before civil wars?
There are many ideas/beliefs as to why things happen. Racism, IMO, is merely a human reaction to encountering difference. As we expose ourselves to things, we become less apprehensive. Watch alot of horror?--you start liking horror movies. Have/Watch alot of sex/porn?--care less about protection/abstinence/love. Witness alot of violence?--gunshots don't phase you.
I think before atheists cast off their birth rights they might look at their lives and find the little miracles that saved their neck one day. I am sure somewhere in life there was some event that made you feel lucky to be alive--even if life doesn't seem so great sometimes.
Don't worry, you still have years to achieve a level of thinking like my own:P I've been thinking deeply for many more years than you.
Think about it.
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| Posted in
Please Choose The Path of My Imagination on 2007-10-26 19:18:28 |
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All of these are putting me to sleep or in a coma except for the first one about the guy who finds a creature in the water he has to stop.
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| Posted in
VENTING on 2007-10-26 18:36:22 |
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Wow, I feel like it's the profile of a female wrestler instead:P Um, women and pink? Sorry to say, I hate THAT. There are very few women and very few articles of clothing that look good on a woman in pink. ANd, I can't stand HK. Sorry again. There is just something about the dotty eyed big white head that doesn't agree with me. She has no character; just a face used in any scenario you can imagine. And, I am a lil shocked at your road rage:P Sorry if I ever am on the road with you while going 45 mph. If I was near guys hitting on a woman--in a car or not--I just curl up and slither away. I just can't do what other men do. Ever.
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| Posted in
The Waiting game... on 2007-10-26 16:51:13 |
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This debate/argument is so moot, yet it seems the "dark side" has the upper hand. Even kids have less respect for the ways of old than my generation(which isn't that old at all).
ANyway, to avoid rebuilding the pressure I get inside from the topic as I always do...I have spoken out on the matter of STDs and unwanted pregnancies/single parents SO often...I am tired of talking. People make their own choices and mistakes and rationalize it all to get on with life and not let anyone hold them down. Everyone wants to fly high and live for today. Very few if any put things off if the opportunity emerges. I think men are like wolves/foxes who will do whatever it takes to get "some"--no matter if the girl is a "hottie" or not-ee:P I seem to find more women whom I find unattractive who either are with a few kids and alone or frequent sex partners(maybe hurt the first time and thus just turning it into a vampiristic habit of seeking the next guy who wants some and doesn't care who it's with).
I don't know what else to say. All I know is my choices based on my religion and family background have made me an outcast among the majority and thus it has been hard to associate with anyone(I mean, how good of friends can you be with someone who brags about sex experiences or wants to talk sex and you don't?--this was high school for me). And, as of recent, I have found it still very hard to associate with others since most are quite comfortable with the topic of sex, and I am still an outsider. To approach a woman whom I find attractive only to find out she has such a different outlook on the matter could greatly impede any relations. I'm always debating the matter of being alone/solo the rest of my life with myself. I have no desire to join the priesthood--considering all the recent perverts that have been found.
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| Posted in
MORE RAMBLINGS.... on 2007-10-26 16:12:54 |
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I am so tired of both being afraid to do things as well as putting in so much effort for so little gain. I see alot of people posting poetry here. And, just like every message board I have been to, people are both eager to share and afraid of stealing. It's a mind-numbing paranoia. Either we all start getting copyrights before sharing...OR just be more selective about sharing! Geesh! Not rocket science. Just cover your back.
I just have little interest in poetry in general since I gave up writing my own back in high school. Poetry is a bit like rap to me now.
Like the almighty blog celebrity Raj says--heh:P--feel free to rant and speak your mind(within reason). Yea right, Frank:P The day you run away from here...I can't think of anything clever:P As for unbiased advice, you can anticipate unyielding honesty from me--partly due to my astrology.
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| Posted in
Hentai or Porn?--pick your poison on 2007-10-26 15:48:04 |
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NOW, we're talking. I was wondering when an addict would say something:P [Then again, you could just be teasing--so I hope you're serious.] So you watch BOTH? Geesh. I don't understand though why you would make it illegal but still be addicted to it. I don't know why, but that's strangely funny:P
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| Posted in
Ray of Sunshine on 2007-10-25 22:11:29 |
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Reading your post at a time when once again--as it often happens--I am put in a very frustrating, sad and angry place when a "friend" comes to an impass with me and terminates connections. Suddenly that ray of light becomes a painful laser or blinding force that throws me off course instead of warming the way. I have met a few of these "rays" in my life, but so far not one has stayed with me more than a few years(and the time gets shorter with every new one). Just when I think I have found one who will stay with me...they get taken away. I have received more than enough comments about the error in my philosophy and way of life even though I have been like you trying to be the best person I can be with all the good habits and such. But, in all my efforts to be the good person, I seem to have ended up with nothing of value in my heart. As much as people comment that I am such a good guy(I am starting to think they are just the people who wish to use me), I get comments about how hurtful and inconsiderate I am. How I judge and slash people apart for not being as "good" as me. I have never desired to be better than others other than in competition when I want to be the best. I have never thought I had any ego or God complex. And, yet, here I sit without a genuine friend in the world I can count on and feel connected with...always on the verge of a complex because I just keep running into these impasses. ANd, if I think about it too much and don't just keep doing what makes me feel content, I may just self-destruct. And, I don't really want to pour all that out on a web page--heck, I can barely type it all. I know, I'm already babbling. Ok, fin. You can delete this if it bothers you. Sorry for venting here. You just struck a cord, and it's my fault for reading anyway.
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| Posted in
The stories I have yet to tell on 2007-10-25 20:20:54 |
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Holy S$&*! I don't know what yer beef is, but your writing style just POPS! It's like looking at a classic dust jacket commentary. I compare it to my own work and suddenly feel a bit stupid. I sorta agree with Raj that the last one has some potential--but I feel I've seen it somewhere before. Maybe Farenheit 451 or White Noise? Behind U sounds like another cheezy take on that recent scare movie where the girl is on the phone and the guy is in the house with her:P Whispers sounds interesting, but I'm not sure of the plot flow. It sounds like it might just be a series of different secret scenarios and then the clincher backfire bit--sorta like Final Destination. But, the concept is intriguing. Scary Lady sounds like a recent Dr Who episode I saw. Not sure what to think, but I like the idea of a mysterious attacker only certain people can see. Entity just sounds plain scary. What's with all the supernatural freak shows? 'You being haunted?:P Style is on the mark, just flush some of the ideas out. I am in the same boat. I hope I don't lose hope, cuz I have a number of stories I'd like to get published--without selling my soul--and potentially turned into movies/cartoons.
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| Posted in
Hack / Exploit for Thoughts.com on 2007-10-25 20:04:23 |
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Yay, I'm part of a beta stage! I am evolving with the site!:P woo-ee. I was thinking about this concept myself recently--as I have only been a member about a week now:P All the hows and whys this stuff goes on...what's the scoop with the view numbers and all that jazz. And, on that note, how does all that affect the contest winners? SO, if just based on views, like Heizo says, one could really bump themselves up like a falsely inflated ego. Great, more conspiracy/paranoia:P Just what I needed.
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| Posted in
What do you want to be when you grow up? on 2007-10-25 19:56:58 |
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I set goals for myself as a class project when I graduated grade school. I crashed and gave up on just about all of them when I graduated high school. I have had ups and downs in the world of being an artist, but I have not given up the dream completely yet. All I know is one day I want to be remembered in some great capacity similar to Einstein or Michaelangelo(but maybe not of the same mentality--if rumors be true about eccentricities/insanity).
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| Posted in
The Supression. on 2007-10-25 19:50:45 |
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One more example of a life/mind screwed up by screwing with others. You can't tell left from right, right from wrong. And, I think if you continue this way, soon you won't care or know if you care. You'll just be an emotional rollercoaster waiting for the next "passenger" to go for a ride.
Think about it.
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| Posted in
People would be happier... on 2007-10-25 19:33:10 |
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*Chokes* I think I might be a "quack"!:P I have "matured" quite a bit as of recent and look at massages a bit differently than the days when I was a kid who thought it was fun to dig into a family member's back. Now, I'm a lil touchy about touching:P I long to massage a woman's back one day with all my sensuality:> Til then, hands off:P heh. Happy Birthday, Abbie(Abi? Abigail? Abby?).
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| Posted in
The antidote on 2007-10-25 19:21:36 |
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FYI I never went to college cuz of emotional stress too--but I wish it was from a girlfriend and not just school work and the sass of the sex-crazed classmates I had:P I decided I had stressed myself over school SO much, I was missing the rest of life. So, out of high school, I decided to seek another path and ended up on a crappy streak of minimum wage work. Hope you have better luck. Nonetheless, I have had an interesting--though still stressful and depressing--time with so SO many interactions with people from around the world just from my less-than-impressive jobs:P I just wish some of them lasted longer than a day or a half hour of small talk that can't go anywhere(cuz I shouldn't be socializing at work?).
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| Posted in
Why I'm Me on 2007-10-25 19:15:04 |
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Welcome to MY world, sister (Gemini)rabbit:P(chinese astrology). You just about summed up my feelings only at a younger stage. If I felt like you at that age, I guess I haven't achieved anything:P I feel that way now. But, I am past the parents' blame thing. I am tired of fighting everyone. Tired of myself and people saying I am too negative or let my fears rule me too much. I'm tired of my own excuses, but I don't like people telling me always what I am doing wrong. And, you are on the other side of the world having these feelings about where you are too. I have no advice because I AM you:P But, maybe just knowing each other may help.
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| Posted in
Happy Halloween on 2007-10-25 19:09:06 |
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What a lovely name you have there:) Heh:P I never was good at tricks(april fools and all)...never quick with the smartass comments(though I can be a bit of a smartass at times)...but it's nice to give out and receive treats once in a while. My POV has changed greatly over the years. I go from a kid who was trying to be good and saved his candy longer than anyone...to a teenager feeling out of sorts about the whole change in maturity, depressed about the changes...to having no interest in the whole holiday biz...to now when I like to dress up again and--if in a good mood about those I know around me--pass out a few treats(but I usually save it for Christmas/Valentines/Easter(when I dressed up as a rabbit a few times recently). My aspirations for Halloween--as I despise all the horror and freakiness--is to have a superhero costume party. As for the supernatural, there are spirits/ghosts among us and beyond. I also am not ignorant of alien life on other planets. Anyone who dismisses either is either scared, too traditional or ignorant.
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| Posted in
Things that are not really needed to know bout me. on 2007-10-25 18:58:31 |
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SO glad you shave your legs:P I totally agree with loving wholly, but these days, more people get hurt before they get that far and just as many get hurt turning their self over to their lover(though some of those people I have a hard time believing all is as they say). Painted toenails almost always make me cringe(cuz they usually are on overly tanned feet attached to fatty, freckled legs--add an anklet, and I'll REALLY puke), and I don't really look at women's feet even though I am interested in the design of women's footwear. I dream of being held often myself--but I don't think I can sleep while touched:P I don't know you and thus don't care about your calls:P But, I suppose I might feel the same way. I despise #6 and totally disagree. I don't recall any record of Jesus wearing any of that. In any case, BLEH(even as an artist of good taste, metal and flesh don't mix and I hate needles).
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| Posted in
Cracking under pressure. on 2007-10-25 18:49:05 |
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Ok, back up the meltdown train. You're what, 17? And, it sounds like you're tackling so much...heck, I cracked just doing schoolwork back then! I didn't have the patience or time for anything else. No friends, no social life, no clubs or out of school activities.
I've been running into alot of you young music savants lately, and whether its opera singing or violin, I am starting to lose it.
And, you are tackling so much. You can't take on a convoy and still be a butterfly. I too am not interested in a therapist or meds. Take a few breaths and slim down the schedule budget. Lighten the load, young trucker, or one of these days you just might jackknife again.
Think about it.
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Have you ever had a choice? on 2007-10-24 22:49:15 |
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It's such a good...feeling...to know yer alive...It's such a hap-py feeling...Your free will is nigh...And when you wake up ready to say, "I'm gonna do things God's predestined waaaay!"...and I'll be back, when the day is through...And, I'll have more obscure blogging to do...And, I'm sure you'll have comments to talk about....I...will...too. Good day, everybody:P
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God Is Testing Me on 2007-10-24 22:31:59 |
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Was there a test?!?! Ow, GAWD! I missed it!:P Psst! Dude, can I bum some notes off ya for the remedial?
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The Invisible Sign on 2007-10-24 22:00:10 |
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That was a badly drawn statement, stickman:P jk And, RBG(yeah, I'll go with that)? It seems some people with boyfriends or husbands are here blogging anyway:P and chatting. I start to wonder are they happy relationships--and thus this is just a hobby--or is something wrong?
I too am often asked "why don't you have a girlfriend?" I ask myself often. I know I have apprehensions based on what is going on around me.
I wouldn't put an age bracket on life. If I did, I'd be more depressed than I am now. I've been single all my life thus far. And, I'm not a multi-million success by far. I became desperate to take a trip to Europe before turning 30--feeling my life/past was looking rather empty. Haste makes waste.
Think about it.
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Hentai or Porn?--pick your poison on 2007-10-24 21:16:22 |
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Hey, orangeMandaryn, did you see blondie's nose above? Uh-huh. Listen, Kris, I think you have a career in the matter. If not, I'm sure someone would hire you if interested/desperate.
Talent in porn/hentai...hmm. Well, in comparison with your model example, it would be the same if you made a movie about disciplining or neutering a dog. Not something you see every day. Not something most people would watch casually. But, if you watch, you'd learn how to do it better.
And, yet, the difference is sex is a function of two people--supposedly in love(not just horny, ehem))--who clearly know how their bodies work and what they like. They, knowing each other, can explore each other together and make it work. You don't need a video to tell you "okay, so I put my hand down there and then form a two-finger hold like that..." In fact, if you follow a video, what IS that? That's some whack sex education. "Hey, honey, where did you learn that?" "Oh, I was watching this hardcore porn video." "OOoh!"--oh, spare me! Not to mention, if you have half a brain, you can figure out what works and doesn't with your lover. There are only so many body parts to play "operation" with; it's not rocket science. And, if you think you're gonna ace sex from a video only to find out the girl/guy doesn't like that bit you're trying, what a sorry loser YOU are. I don't think when they made pornos/hentai they intended it as instructional video.[Not to get off subject, but now I think of sperm banks and how sick THAT is to be a guy given materials to get off on to donate sperm.]
And, frankly, I wouldn't be proud of being some sexual don juan by learning from some perverted video where the only point of making it was to throw two characters in some costume fetish into a sex scene! In fact, I've seen/heard people comment on this type of videos, and the people reviewing/commenting often say blah about the paper thin plot which distracts from the good or bad sex scenes. So, clearly it's not acting talent. I get uncomfortable watching sex scenes in regular movies. I have no desire to delve into worse acting just to wrap a cop or nurse hat around a sex salad. If you sleep around and are rating guys on their "skills" from watching porn, well you're a *cough* whorse of a whole different color. To each his or her own.
I simply think the product lacks any replay value and promotes perversion--regardless how pleasureable/painful the experience may be from the minds of the creators. I am not sure those practices are even healthy(The M word is up for dispute yet). I have heard radio doctors and teachers of classes past insist on not doing those things. It's not about the Catholic faith; it's not romantic. Period. [I would only make an exception in the case of a couple who are a bit low on imagination and feel they are losing the "spark" to MAYBE watch one of the better-made ones--if there is such a thing--together for SOME sort of inspiration. Again, a maybe.]
This discussion just put a BAD taste in my mouth>;(
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What sex, god, life says about me??? on 2007-10-23 23:10:48 |
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No wonder you see no place for faith...you got hurt once, and started a viscious cycle of drugs and sex...scared to be real with a man, but totally at ease fooling around. There is a dark fog over your eyes, and when reality peeks through, you slap on an eye mask and take someone to bed with a bottle in hand. Sounds like a wild ride with no substance in any of it. Why do bad things happen? Cuz of those with viscious cycles repeating mistakes. The faithless propogate the faithless; the corrupt inspire more to be corrupt. Sad to say, but that old lemming thing seems easy to follow and be true. If they jump off the bridge, why not me? I'm not going to condemn you...not my job or place...but, you have a choice. Stop the train and get off--since I think deep down you know you want love of a man without the bad cycle. Or, do what comes easy and feel like crying when you realize you just repeated yourself and have another toke/drink.
Think about it.
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In a car underwater with time to kill on 2007-10-23 20:06:18 |
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You're fresh in college and feeling bad cuz friends have boyfriends and you don't. What is any different than high school other than the class set up? You're just getting started in the next phase of life...give yourself time. Or, do Geminis need to be with someone 24-7? I have not had A relationship my entire life and am far older than you. I struggled to make friends and had a bunch who were mainly friends for what we each had, not who we were--and they would change to be friends with others--leaving me on the bench. Don't make me come over there and shake you senseless. I am not sure what to do with Geminis...much less dragon years(chinese). Oh, maybe you'd be interested in looking into your astrology--might give you some answers. If not, just chillax and go with the flow--keeping up with duties--til the right one/s come along(or go after them yourself--as people tell me to). *shrugs* sigh.
I think once you come to a lil inner peace, the whole public speaking and the rest will come together. Also, if you are prone to a lil stage fright--which is not common among Geminis--try a few mouth flapping exercises before speaking(alot of actors supposedly do it to shake jitters out). Also, FOCUS. Not on others but the task at hand. It takes practice. When it seems someone might be trying to use you as a doormat, flap your attitude in their face. Reject them before they can lay out the offer. Say "I know what you're trying to do....I'm not interested. Go away."
Think about it.
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It's not for everyone! on 2007-10-23 19:47:18 |
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Calm down, rather lovely looking cavewoman banging on the keys:P. My gawd. Does anyone have any Lithium?:P 'Jest' kidding. Listen, I too have been trying to write a great novel. I started my first back in '94--still haven't finished a complete draft. I have wished every day since then for someone to bounce ideas off of...but at the same time I try to write a novel--even though many say I should be a better reader first--I want to make movies and masterpieces(as an artist)as well. How can I choose?? So, I have become quite the burning bush of firestarting. I send out lil fires here and there--no offense, State of California--and struggle to finish them. So, you are no more screwed than I--and I too have parent issues(I think I would be a better person if I grew up on a farm instead of in the city). But, if you would rather dig out a big wooden club and smash the keyboard out of a temporary mental block instead of seeking a lil life experience/inspiration/fresh air, be my guest:P Good luck with the book--I smell a drama from the files of Danielle Steele with a necklace of pearls scattered in an angry fury:P
Think about it.
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This is Me.. on 2007-10-23 19:39:16 |
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He wanted you to either go to his profile and message him via chat or email, or you can just do as you just did by adding a comment to his comment...and I am sure he would read it later. Kapeesh?
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Hey Hey on 2007-10-23 17:52:40 |
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Hey, lisa19347935, this is lisa13437473, here to give you your check from MySpace. Good job turning people away from Thoughts. The 3 stage post was a lil unnecessary though. Oh, there's one more thing--(grabs you around the top and base of the head aaand TWIST!...takes the money back and walks away inconspicuously). [Why bother using blog space when you're not interested? Why are SO many wasting time and blog space?]
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Hello on 2007-10-23 16:53:04 |
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Well, let me show you where to put your bags. Don't mind the dog; that's Carl's. If you need to use the loo, it's the third door on the right. Now...oh, you're from THERE? I'm sorry, we don't have a "smoking" section:P Try the blormatory down the street.
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So I'm Not a very fast typist on 2007-10-23 16:44:17 |
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Theraputic...hmm, wellll...I tell you this. If I could get paid for being a blogging counselor here, I'd sign up and do this instead of my day job:D Though, I'd need some time for exercise to compensate. But, I sure feel more able on a phone, one on one or on here:P In fact, today at work--I feel guilty--people turned me into their therapist/tech wizard guy. And, all I could think was "why am I not getting paid just to do THIS?":P
But, for myself? I have not seen the therapy side yet. Could be just cuz I am a lil cautious about just telling all on the internet. If I wanted zero privacy/confidentiality, I'd walk around naked in Hollywood and become a star so the camera freaks can blind me with their incessant flashes all God-lovin' day.
Think about it.
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So I'm Not a very fast typist on 2007-10-22 23:31:06 |
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Whoa, either fan the smoke or duck and cover, this one is about to blow:P YOU'RE a counselor? Just kidding:P I feel like I am reading something a future me wrote. I too struggled with typing(still no master by far) for YEARS and made the same excuses as you. GOSH, the excuses and cop outs we are!! Urgh, it is so sickenning!! [I'm also a pretty good counselor but not as a paying gig--but I SHOULD be getting paid here:P]
I remember being in high school and I panicked from the thought of having to type a 20 page term paper when all I could do was peck at keys--IT'D TAKE ME FOREVER!! But, when the teacher finally insisted it was a must...boy, did I sweat. ANd, eventually, I sweated it out...even if I had to peck. I can imagine how the working world would look upon that. That's why I would never take such a job:P Even working on a cash register, I was called slow--and did that ever tick me off. I, like you, was an accuracy nut(oh, you made a few typos in your fury here:P). I still am.
Something I should mention, I use online chat. And, in chat, many make typos and then do these lil correction things with asterisks...IT IS SO FRIGGIN ANNOYING!! I myself make a mistake and go back to fix it before I send my message to anyone. But, I tell you ONE good thing about chat. Ever since I started doing it...having to compete to get a word in in the chat rooms...I had to force myself to figure out the keys. It's sort of like how I have heard parents teach kids to swim by throwing them in the pool...or a bird kicking a baby out of the nest to learn to fly. Throw yourself into online chat, and just see how you force yourself to learn.
Think about it.
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New at this on 2007-10-22 23:07:22 |
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Um, me thinks you lost the meaning of a private journal? Now, if you want a spot in a newspaper called the ? Journal, that's another story. I have thought about starting a journal many times...but frankly, I don't have anything I feel like writing in it. My daily life is pretty much stagnant. I spend so much time either working, with hobbies/my PC or trying to get my life/essentials/head together. I used to write poetry, too. But, if everything that I think to write comes out depressing or bland--why bother? I have seen some of other people's "journal pages" here(not reading them wholly, just reading the bits of text in the previews), and many of them seem much more interesting/active. So, I will pass on the journal idea for now.
However, any clever or insightful topics that cross your mind? Do feel free to share/post those. I'm sure SOMEONE will find them amusing or helpful. But, this site seems to move pretty quick with so many people posting random stuff...it could just get blown away in the breeze.
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Hentai or Porn?--pick your poison on 2007-10-22 22:35:31 |
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Just to clarify...hmm, seems to be something common on here:P having to clarify things...I did not mean to imply ALL japanimation/anime is pornographic or suggestive. I said much or a majority. Yes, I know of some good anime that is quite void of questionable matter. But, sometimes even the most unsuspecting video choice can include some strange moment or scene where you know there's someone going "teehee" for slipping it in there(and maybe someone else seeing it in a different light than the average eye).
If you want examples of anime that are NOT so questionable and decent to watch, I liked a series called S-Cry-Ed, the movie The Cat Returns(Spirited Away is very well drawn/painted but a bit lacking in satisfaction at the end) and the Japan/US televised cartoon series Teen Titans is quite amusing and somewhat entertaining. I will even go as far as to say the 90s OVAs of Cutey Honey(some of the best animation I think I have ever seen except for the face/eye style maybe) and Lupin III--both a bit "cheeky" or teasing at times--are decent viewing(though Cutey Honey has a few moments that push the envelope).
My purpose here was to instill a little extra effort/support in trying to curb some of the misuse of such quality artistry and put it to better use.
But, tell me...what is the purpose of hentai/animated porn?
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Learning through our questions on 2007-10-22 00:32:23 |
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For some, it may take practice...and patience? Yea, why does that seem to be such an endangered species?--like global warming melts it away or something. Just be careful in this practice you don't slip and fall into full devulgence in public:P It's good to vent and air out, but isn't there a reason why when people see a therapist there is such a thing as "doctor/patient confidentiality"?
Think about it.
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Too All But One on 2007-10-21 23:29:31 |
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Just curious...why is it titled "To All But One"? Who is this one? Or am I misreading this somehow?
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Too All But One on 2007-10-21 23:27:15 |
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Well, miss 1789237835--just kidding:P But, it seems like you are just a number in this BLOG world. It's almost sickenning how many are doing the same thing. I "love" it how so many say they hate drama, and you have included it in your online being:P
Before I start to sound rash or crass, ONE suggestion which I might have to BLOG for all to see better. I totally agree with you in typing a journal out instead of writing by hand...same goes for writing novels, much easier than penning them. BUT, being this is the internet and crap goes on and comes up so often in the news...why not simply type these journal-istic moments in private in a simple text or WordPad document? start a journal folder on your PC. You don't need to BLOG it all.
However, if you DO find a topic you would like an answer to or a project you need a second opinion on, I'd say come here and go for it. Unless you're trying to sell something.
Think about it.
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Utterly Nutty on 2007-10-21 23:15:17 |
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Oh, and in suppliment of that dieting/eating bit, what adds to the problem are sugars, preservatives and caffeine. So, when it seems to be peaking...try cutting out sodas, sugary cereals, iced tea with caffeine, and pretty much anything processed(but these days, its everywhere...so focus on combatting the sugars and stimulants).
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Utterly Nutty on 2007-10-21 23:12:37 |
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Scary stuff. I am shaking even now myself. Any time there is mention of panic, stress, depression, fear...I shake. Medication--no more of that.
I just want to say that I really hope the situation is as good as it sounds. You seem to be a very loving individual with the utmost patience and endurance to stick it out--and it's not just the typical being needy/clingy to have someone thing. You are sticking it out in the trenches...for better or worse. It is almost heavenly...what I have sought myself and feared could not exist...that whoever I tried to get close to would only get tired and fall off, fall back. And, in the end, I would be alone with my "tremors." The war is not over, but I hopefully will win before the end. And, hopefully find someone like yourself who has the endurance and supportive heart.
Oh, and I have made this suggestion a few times today already. Try natural solutions. I wish I would have years ago. Try oatmeal from the carton with banana...maybe a glass of orange juice with it. Foods said to stimulate positive brain chemistry to combat nerves and stress. Heard it on the radio. Might do the trick for some of it.
Think about it.
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| Posted in
Where has all the good music gone? on 2007-10-21 20:39:46 |
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Doctor, Doctor, here is the news. You've got a...bad case of music reviews:P eheh. None of your choices appeals to me at all, so when you say there has been no good music in the last 10 yrs...I cannot support you. I was about to, but nope.
Think about it.
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| Posted in
Clarification on 2007-10-21 19:55:36 |
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I was gonna say the same thing, AGAIN! Curse you, pumpkinhead digger:P Too many people starting new posts/blogs when they could just add to the first one.
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I REALLY HATE MY LIFE!!!! on 2007-10-21 19:49:25 |
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Urgh, why didn't I get this all in one...one last thing, the ID boredandlonely...one thing I have found in online activities or names in any case...to BE a negative, you BECOME negative. If you can, change or get a new ID/account with a more optimistic or creative name.
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I REALLY HATE MY LIFE!!!! on 2007-10-21 19:47:41 |
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Bad spelling, I meant I'd be GRATEFUL if women would make the first move and break the ice with me...then I'd be much more able to respond and get things going. I just need the cork pop. And, I hope I would be nice and considerate enough not to disrespect the person and simply say something like "I'm sorry; I just can't get involved with someone like you." I know that hurts. So, I hope I don't do that.
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I REALLY HATE MY LIFE!!!! on 2007-10-21 19:44:25 |
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Wow, for a minute there I thought I wrote this blog in my sleep...hmm. Well, it would be more like me a few years back now. I'm sort of past the whole self loathing bit. It wears out its welcome. I'd be more concerned that HE that you speak of might read this thing and THEN have something to say about it. Not worry so much if he likes you for your or just to be nice...that just leads to a bad cycle.
In regards for what you and Amanda said, I would be so greatful if more women made the first move:P I am a great starter of books and other projects, but when it comes to hooking up with people...I turn into a totem pole. Motion and often speechless.
Before you go mad, 1)Breathe deep and let it out. 2)Get plenty of sleep--preferably 8 hrs a night and 3)Try eating oatmeal with banana to calm down naturally and feel better.
If you feel you need or want to, you can contact me.
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Life and Palm Readers on 2007-10-21 19:11:58 |
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I am very curious to know more about ya, say_yes--which I find ironic:P Another irony on here....doesn't want to think about marriage, but has the name say_yes:P like in a proposal.
I think we have much in common.[To bad I can't find a profile.] I too have been working on a few stories. I too am not eager to jump into marriage or parenthood. Want to travel without burdens. Book club sounds cool--been a while since I was in one. Maybe we can chat. Find the means to message me if interested.
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God Is Testing Me on 2007-10-21 18:01:13 |
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Anyone else see the irony here? I am finding much irony in blogland here. You say you are not a religious person--clearly I imagine to eliminate the guilt of sex with consequences, put a lil distance between pressures--yet you feel GOD is testing you. Hey, he beat me to it! Pumpkinhead!
If I was an unreligious person--meaning I have no concern for faith or a higher power whatsoever--I would probably be like Adam with Eve only a more realistic animal/adult version:P
In any case, hot HOT story you have there. But, as amazing it is to hear you didn't just jump this guy for sex--being as ready-to-go as you seem to be with a guy not wearing underwear(?!?!)--as I am NOT surprised that the reason he is the way he is is(mouthful) a combination of being fearless as well as saying "I just got out of something serious; I am not even sure I should be doing THIS much so soon...but gosh you're attractive."
The lesson here being "if you play with fire, you just might get burned."
Think about it.
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Questions on Love on 2007-10-21 17:36:59 |
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Wow, if I had a nickel for every post on this topic I have encountered:P Why, does it come up so often? ANd, why did I stop to comment here?:P Maybe it's your looks:P Or, in astro terms, you being an Aries Dragon year.
In any case, I am sure you can find other posts/blogs/threads on the matter and get insight to your questions. I simply wanted to restate the way sex turns people into loveless vampires. Once you lose love, it is like a vampire turning you...you suddenly crave the release either you had and lost or never had...and before you know it, you crave it so often you keep record("man, I haven't had sex in ___"). And, oddly enuf, you are the one NOT wanting the emotional bond and mr fookbuddy DOES. How very odd indeed.
Yea, you got that look in your eye too...that fire to be all physical and unemotional...and frequent:P I know a blonde like you already.
Well, I think when either one of you gets emotionally hurt by some surprise--most likely cheating of some kind as anyone with the freedom to "screw" without emotional ties will probably say "hey, I am not tied down, not committed--so why not?" OR one of you will eventually find someone you DO want emotional ties with and then say "hmm, so now I want the relationship but I have been fookbuddies with this one so long...I can't be serious with him, but maybe this other one..."--OR you may just burn out and get bored with the arrangement.
In any case, it just feels like a touchy and dangerous situation. And, I would be afraid that when and if you DO decide later you feel able to love again, the one you go after--as I am sure you would--would reject you because you were so loose beforehand.
Think about it.
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| Posted in
thanks for taking the time on 2007-10-21 17:08:59 |
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Now you make me scared of Australia...and quite fankly, I am tired of new places scaring me:P I wanted to see the world one day...but the more I know, the more I am scared.
In fact, all that you have done to yourself seems less corrupt and scary:P I really hope you don't grind teeth too much..that's terrible and terribly painful. And, I'd be so annoyed by the clicking:P
I am so glad you came to that drug conclusion yourself. Shows great willpower and achievement.
And, if you truly believe you are where you are to "heal the land", more power to you, Superwoman:) You just might/could be my Aussie superheroine, my "Justice League" compatriot:) If you like the idea of being a superheroine or just costumes of the sort, I've got a club for you:P I know yer a bit older or more "mature" than me, but still:P Maybe we can keep in touch.
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| Posted in
Who would you choose? on 2007-10-21 14:59:24 |
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Now look:P She makes a request and then someone answers in a way she feels is not proper:P ...BUT they followed the rules:P Well, almost, he didn't give his name/location in the post.
I dunno why, but I get a lil creeped out online lately when people come out of the blue and ask "tell me about you" unless you find that right ice breaker to really strike up a good chat and take things slow cuz yer not face to face.
I seem to have the same mentality as Mr Stickman over there:P cuz we seem to go to the same posts. Or, it's just timing:P
Ok, back to the matter--and I too agree this is a good idea and will probably do some myself--I cannot answer this one well:P There are far too many I have seen and met who I would have questions for. I would rather know I have ONE person at my side I can converse with and discuss anything than fathom some particular stranger of the billions out there whom I'd like an answer from. I have so many questions about people and life in my head as it is.
I feel similarly in regard to the concept of being with people as lovers/life partners/soul mates. With the billions of people in the world one could be with, how can anyone turn to the person next to them whom they claim is THE ONE and say something like "you are the most beautiful person in the world"? Maybe insert a "one of".
Suggestion: Next time, don't ask for names and locations unless it is already on profile accessible to you. Some people might get a lil "ticky" about devulging. Save some of that for private messages between two users.
And, now a commercial from one of our sponsors:P Heh, stickman:P
Think about it.
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Friends: Can't live with them, can't commit them on 2007-10-21 14:38:03 |
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Ok, cracks knuckles, man's perspective...you don't mind, do you? Strange, why would a MAN say anything here unless he was trying to hit on someone or say something dimwitted and of foul language against women?:P You may say.
Well, I think of two outlooks. One, you did all you could to break her from the spell. Didn't work. You have the classic "beating me up feels good afterwhile" messed-up syndrome. For some, pain is pleasure or a comfort zone. And, two, in terms of astrology, if she is born a Rat year(chinese) or bears some trait of that, she may be the clingy, never-gonna-back-down type. Now, maybe it IS some strange form of love that she has to prove on her own(I have gotten involved with a few people whom could very well be bad for each other but there is something that keeps one of us coming back saying "I know there is something there, and come heck or highwater, I will find and secure it") OR it is a self-destructive cycle which may end badly, but chalk it up to experience. Cuz the girl has a fishhook in her mouth and isn't letting go. I can imagine that can really be a hardship in friendship(my sister is going through something similar with her friends).
Think about it.
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| Posted in
Learning through our questions on 2007-10-21 14:22:05 |
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So, to sum up...Questions. Any questions?:P Class dismissed:P Well, tell me when you reach some answers and feel free to share them:P Cuz I have my own mess of questions...some I cannot even express without tying my tongue(I am not quite as open as I could be).
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| Posted in
Into a land unknown! on 2007-10-21 14:06:46 |
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Aha! Well, though I am glad you filled out the profile, I would recommend perhaps less info or privacy settings.
I say AHA as I find you are NOT an Aquarius--as I last surmised--so then it is not the birth sign that is the issue...probably something more internal, love sign/nature or the way you socialize sign. And, you were born a rat year(chinese astrology). Rats can be VERY clingy. When they have someone to hold hands with...it is very difficult to let go. So, at least know that it is simply in your nature to be as you are. What strikes me as odd and would require further analysis is the "unconventional" aspect based on what I now know. In essence of birth natures, you should be a rather traditional, guarded, private, worrisome person with a humble, gentle kind-hearted way of loving others(with a slight penchant for complaining/fretting maybe). But, like I am implying, it is not a simple science. If interested, I am willing to help with any astro/psych questions...otherwise, seek out books(I happen to know many rat and dragon years have a thing for aquiring info).
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| Posted in
Into a land unknown! on 2007-10-21 13:56:43 |
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Stop the presses! A young woman who is confused and doesn't know what to do about her life/family! Breaking news!
Um, not so uncommon...and the more these posts pop up on here, the more I see the need for some SERIOUS therapy sessions...and not the sort of therapy I am familiar with which only seems to let people talk to themselves and work out their own problems. That is basically what those like you seem to be out here to achieve. Self therapy. But, I am not sure this is the way or place to air the utmost private laundry. I am not saying don't post this stuff at any time...but choose words and settings carefully. Information is power, and some feed off others' woes...find the weak points to attack just for kicks.
Let me ask, if I may, do you know your astrology? Are you an Aquarius? Cuz there are some tell tale signs of Aquarian energy here. It may not be in your birth sign. But, unique outlook, questionable sexuality(although that can often appear in those born between late june-july and scorpios as well)...I start to get that vibe.
Also, you have become so close to your siblings--the last time I felt that closeness, I was 10(since then it has faded greatly)--that separation anxieties are in high cycle. I get that way when I am lucky to have a good day with one of my sibs and then have to go back to lonesome reality. It's hard. It gives you shakes like a drug addict in withdrawal. I am always working towards moderation of emotion...being able to share time with people and then say "okay, that was fun and diverting, but now I gotta get serious again." I haven't mastered this at all yet...but I hope to and will have to work on it. Take deep breaths. Hang onto hope. And, try to find others and other ways you can interact...online even with chat or message boards(or even blogs like this--but again, watch how much personal stuff you put out there). Try not to rely on any one person any more than you must rely on yourself. Take care of you and try to occupy alone time with hobbies.
Think about it.
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hello world on 2007-10-21 13:29:01 |
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First bit of advice, when you hear that train coming?--you know, the voices in your head start picking up speed...chugga chugga...all the what ifs and woes start adding momentum?...JUST BREATHE! Take a second of your life and shake it out. A deep breath does wonders sometimes.
ANd, i have recently heard that a natural cure for the jitters or panic/depression are...ready for this?...natural foods! Bananas particularly are good for positive brain chemistry--no wonder I suffered so bad at 14, I wasn't eating my bananas. Oatmeal--if you like that sort of thing regularly:P bleh--is also good. Preferably the carton style versus the lil singles you can buy which have more preservatives. Preservatives, caffeine and sugars are your enemy.
As for fitting in, been there, hated that. I consider myself an average, decent, good-hearted guy...which seems to even be something not wanted by the majority. People used to look at me like a hypocondriac with a God complex. I tried to look nice and was going to church...uh, OOOO! Scary! Sorry I wasn't sneaking alcohol, having sex in the parking lot or doing drugs. But, I am not going to do that just to fit in.
Then I think of those who literally appear like outcasts. They physically dress a certain "outlandish" or Aquarian rebellious way--you know the type, facial or body piercings, hair dyed a crazy color with odd shaping, baggy militaristic pants with chains and a tshirt with a message or image that might scare people off. Now, sure, there are alot of them and they are people too--and heck, I am sure they fit in or get along with many others ironically well--but to me, I can see why they might be rejected or avoided.
As for anti-depressants, be very careful(and if you say the town is taking them like breakfast or birth control pills, I am REALLY scared). I've seen too many go down that road only to run into problems. And, there will always be the few who DO do well with them. But, I am not a pill or needle person. I hate shots and struggle to swallow pills. And, when you are given something that is supposed to help you feel more cheery, and it is stopping your tears from physically falling while racing your heart rate to dangerous levels...I'd say PASS! In the toilet you go(although, now they say that sort of sanitation is not safe:P So, dispose of them some other way--but my gosh doesn't THAT say something? some of these pills that can harm you if you even just touch them).
Oh and one last thing...as for that last comment about forget everyone else and just focus on your mate and the kid...that, I'd say, is only half right. Yes, when no one else seems to find common ground with you to start a friendship, it can be your saving grace knowing you have love in your life. But, do NOT simply say F*** the rest of you for not accepting me...the combination of what might be the smell of fear or your life status(some may not feel able to mingle with someone taking care of a kid and a mate whos on the road or away--maybe they have similar pains they don't want to share) and the outright rebellious disregard one can have for society would create quite the chemical reaction to turn you either into one of those lucky popular "screw the world" rebels who seem to find others like that...or just further on the outside eventually looking back in as those angry eyes soften like a puppy's into "anyone out there?"
Think about it.
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Dating Sites on 2007-10-21 12:50:18 |
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I just want to say one thing--as I stumble upon these randomly. I think women have it easy:P Women DO seem to be able to sit back and sort through all the offers--crazy or not--and can be the royal princess playing judge on who deserves to win their beautiful selves.
Guys like myself can be the best guys in the world who people will tell me either "you're a great guy with alot going for you" or--on the bad end--"you have issues" and write dozens of letters at sites like that proclaiming either faint or great interest(I USED to tell all in a letter and run on for pages as if I had to sell myself, but I got tired of repeating and thought if the woman likes what she sees/reads, she will contact me) only to get bubkiss. Nada. I have wasted more time and money on such things and can have people tell me for the rest of my life "maybe you did something wrong"...not gonna help. So, la ti da, miss thousandoffersinthemail:P Count your blessings.
The toads I find are single mothers or girls with addictions or afflictions I am not eager to get involved with even if I am very understanding, patient and enduring. And, even they are often not interested in this nice guy. Some if not many say "why? what's wrong with you?" I have some idea. But, then again, perhaps such negative thinking projects the problem that is not there.
Think about it.
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Is the news merely entertainment? on 2007-10-20 22:08:48 |
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Wow, you just turned my brainstorming brain into a pretzel! Oy veh! Intel. You are on a trail I too have looked down. This issue of the media. While in all what you say is essentially correct, it does NOT make ME have ANY interest in the media. I have not watched the news often BECAUSE of what they choose to sell. I am sick of the every day commercial and the bad news.
Even if a movie or story is boring if it doesn't have some sort of conflict or obstacle to overcome or mystery to solve...a movie, in the end, is a MOVIE. And, we are supposed to be going to the movies to get away from life and delve into a different world...a world we come out of, shake it off and get back to reality. That is why it scares me to think some of the movies they make only inspire people to say, "Hey, I can do that in real life!" It makes me think that it's a BAD idea to imagine such things into movies or books. To imagine a monster may bring the monster to life.
I think the world needs to know the good news and only the issues affecting them that are fact and now. We don't need to know gas went up 4 cents at 5am and then down 5 cents at 2pm...we don't need to know there is war in some country where we don't have soldiers and we don't need to get involved in any other wars at all.
The news and gossip shows need to stop turning those around me into nervous fuming wrecks spewing crap about all the devestation going on and complaints about life. Turn the dial to SUNNY AND PLEASANT and give people a reason to try and succeed and NOT be afraid. There is enough fear and hate in the world which is NOT helping anyone. If you need to know what ugly chain that leads to, listen to Yoda in the Star Wars prequels(Ch 1-3).
Think about it.
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Just a Thought on 2007-10-20 21:21:48 |
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Majority? I'd say that's one tough survey to complete, missy. But--just when I thought it was YOUR words--an interesting POV. Tis true that most of the REAL heroes out there today are not XMen or Superman. They aren't flagged by the news for the good deeds that the media manage to latch onto. Those are the minority exposed or exploited for media sake.
Simply put, there are more out there doing good deeds that are not heralded. And, there are plenty heralded who are actually doing harm or being made outcasts and major threats by the media who can't get the camera out of their faces. There's an old saying "The exalted shall be made meek, and the meek shall be exalted" or something like that.
The ones who know they are heroes or act as heroes do not usually seek the cameras nor want the media in their life. They just want to help others and the world get better. It is like the cells in our body that heal us though we are unaware how we healed/survived.
When I was young, I used to look at celebrities--the hot women particularly--and dream a lil dream. But, at my age, I could care less about celebrity and autographs. I am tired of monetary values.
The majority of the country is not in the media, yet the media is growing every day in who it will put on camera or audio feed.
Think about it.
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-screams unheard-. on 2007-10-20 21:08:55 |
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There's a look in your eye and a vibe in your stars. It says, "Don't bother me. Don't violate my privacy. Don't hurt me." When an animal looks afraid, other animals stay away--unless they are predators and see that animal as an easy mark. While some may be afraid to approach you out of fear of setting off explosives, others may just be afraid they might hurt you or themselves as well. I think of how many in my class relied on drugs or cigarettes/drinking illegally to get through school years while I avoided all that and dealt with the stress best I could.
In astrology, you are a Virgo(western) born a Dragon year(chinese). You are a hard working person who, like other virgos, works to eliminate the impurities of life to simplify it.
I went through many of the same difficulties you have mentioned. And, like DS said, I too have been told I think and thought older than my age...that I have an old spirit. You can take that however you want to, but at your age, it just clouds the mind. And, since you are seeking a simple solution and life, I can only hope you find it.
Don't sacrifice your nature just because you feel left out or out of place. Once you change who you are--or change how people see you without growing into that image first--you create a fragile coating which can crack and leave you more fractured and confused. Know thy self, know thy enemy and become fearless(like that jet li movie by that name).
There IS something to consider that has been said and will be heard by you often. One can wait for things to come their way or make the effort themselves. It's an archaic idea that women are princesses in the castle and men are the princes to rescue them. I would have been elated if someone like you had approached me in High School and offered to be my friend. Instead, I had a class of people sleeping with each other who drifted away because they thought I had an ego problem for not being like them. They voted me most likely to become a priest.
Think about it.
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| Posted in
Have you ever had a choice? on 2007-10-20 20:37:41 |
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FINALLY! I found it! I thought it was my imagination seeing this post.
Ok. "God only gives us what we can handle." Keep in mind--free will and all of us being as numerous as the stars. Either God is ALL knowing and is beyond the human comprehension which is sensible enough to blow our brains--and push us toward that tree of forbidden wisdom...OR he says, "Hey, free will for all, but I'll be watching." Either he has it all worked out in detail...or by giving free will, it's like sending your kids to daycare. You let them go and have to hope for the best.
And, in the BIG scheme of things, each of us is just a spec, a skin cell. And, unless a cell gets corrupted and joins to corrupt other cells like a spreading virus, it is just a cell. Or on a positive note, cells come together and multiply to create a life. In the big scheme of things, even if one person goes on a killing spree, the whole survives and lives on until the majority is threattenned.
It is also a random, odd believe of mine that our actions affect the whole regardless of how insignificant we are. Example, if someone squanders their life on casual sex/prostitution or kills their own children just because they are forced in a corner and feel they cannot support them...such things may cause the weather to change...a storm arises(think of that city in the Bible where it is asked "if there are __ good people in that town, will you spare it, God?) and people lose lives and/or homes. Perhaps that is God's wrath or way of saying "You did wrong, and it's in the majority...so I'm sorry, but I must cleanse the area."
People lose limbs, organs, senses, etc. but are able to find means of continuing life. But, how long before the earth is no longer self-functional and on life support?
Think about it.
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Is there such a thing as faithful on 2007-10-20 20:01:25 |
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Don't shoot! I just saw that last comment, 'moonfart. Sounds like a hot pot of water there. I know the feeling when two people come together like atoms or cells or a sperm and an egg...and suddenly, you're temporarily inseperable. Two seconds into it, you've got cold feet...doubts. Yes, no, shouldn't have...really shouldn't have...but...what if...what if...but...but... AGH! Hot water! Or as they say at work "a hot mess." And then there's the teeter totter of the straight and narrow/good person and the person you don't really wanna meet down a dark alley--but damn there's something attractive about that bad person.
And, when you are not secure in yourself, you tend to cling to people like a life preserver at sea. Life becomes Titanic. Search your heart to know what is right. And, don't be afraid to let Rose go if she's not the one. There ARE other fish in the sea. I just don't want to see anyone get too hurt.
Pain of separation is sometimes just the linger of lust. That "jonesing" feeling that emerges in all of us...the same feeling you get when you see someone attractive and go "Mm!" I refer to the current movie "Into the Wild" where the main character has to make a choice when he finds a young girl who "has snakes in her shorts" and he hasn't been with anyone for--at least--a long time. He can take the easy path and go bed with her--sure, he gets a lil action out of it, an emotional release...or he can take the hard path and go without, because to get emotionally tied to her at that time would only make his journey more difficult--and there is no telling when he would be back. But, if you must make a break, either do it gently so the pain is not so great...or do it like a bandaid and let nature take its course. There's a saying going around "God only gives us what we can handle."(which reminds me...)
Think about it.
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Is there such a thing as faithful on 2007-10-20 19:44:33 |
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First of all, let me say, risingmoonfart--awesome name:P You should have a site or spot where you can go and as the page opens, you hear a classy bit of flatulence:P
Anyway, this topic of yours...I have contemplated this myself from a single perspective. I have seen way too many single parents and failed marriages in this world already. As well as people obsessed with sex. In the big game of Love and Sex, its Love 411 Sex 911. The more I look at animals like squirrels and geese and the like...and the more I see of those charity commercials for kids dying in Africa...and the more I get guys AND girls asking me how much action I am getting...the more I realize and get SO irate over how this world works. If it's not the money that's the root of all evil, it's the sex.
YES, we are animals/mammals. YES, we are classified civilized animals. YES, we mate like many other species. But, since we have taken charge of the planet--claimed top of the food chain(ha!)--we have some room to make a difference/choice.
If we choose the path of other animals, just think of life span and STDs. Don't even start talking birth control, condoms or snipping it in the nub. Nature is nature. And, diseases are out there. If we go with the animals, I suspect life span would be much shorter...but I am sure it would be a heck of a romp in a loincloth:P
I think a big concern is moderation/population control. If we keep multiplying without some form of control system--I am afraid to think sci-fi movies--we may just end up in a sci-fi movie where government starts deciding who lives and who dies once costs get too exorbent and too many people end up out on the streets.
And, just when you think I got waaay off course. In terms of "cheating on a relationship" and/or "negating a traditional marriage", I dream of having 5 wives at once--one from every olympic ring:P I find it hard to settle on one type of woman when there is such a lovely variety out there. I favor brunettes over blondes, but there are some really nice blondes, too. It seems impossible to tell anyone you marry "you are the most beautiful person I have ever seen." In short, "cheating" bad; mutual agreement between hetero/bi man and bi/hetero woman to have another partner without committing to traditional marriage--grey area okay:P That's the best I can say without running on longer. I just hope for a brighter future where dreams can come true, and true everlasting love is not an endangered species. There are alot of cookies to pick from, but how many cookies can we have before we get sick?
Think about it.
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