The new year styarted off okay I guess, myself and a bud sat back at my place doing nothing, watching tv. So now 2008 is here whats to come of it. My oldest son, and myself took a bonding trip to Mexico for two weeks. I must say that that was the best I've felt for quite some time, no worries, no time to think, and fun in the sun! Sometimes I wish I just grew some balls and stayed down that way! I always seem to go thru a slight depression upon my return, wishing that I was still there, but knowing that that wasn't going to be. Its almost been a full year since my wife decided unilaterally that she wanted her 'freedom', and that knowledge is still pulling at me, tearing I guess is the proper terminology. My kids are caught up in the middle of her games, the ones I won't play. Here I am, disabled by this dambed ALS, struggling each and everyday to cope with all that has happened to my body, and she got my home, my dog and is now working hard to pull the kids away. She has them lying to me , to what, protect her, and man does it hurt! Its like today, I went over to get my younger boys ice hockey skates so that they can be sharpened, so since I was there, I though I'd ask if my dog could come and spend a couple of days with me, for old time sake and all she could say was' no, that wouldn't be good', bad for who??? I don't understand this thinking, this was my pup, from day 1 I guess she has a need to control. I wasn't going to show her how much it hurt, I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction. Wow! I'm so confused, first I was thrown away like trash, denied access to my kids, my homes gone and all because she didn't want to deal with the disease and that she didn't want to have to look after me once it really took hold!
Man, I just want it all over with, everything. First of all, I got a disease that is supposed to kill you within 18 months of diagnosis, that was 7 yrs ago! I got my wife into a very good job placement so she could be independant as the disease continued along, so as the time grew closer for her schooling to be done, what did she do, she dropped the bomb, and I ' loved 'her, it makes me sick, unreal! I do hope that this year will be ohhh soo much better, I'm tired of being lonely, tired of fighting this disease, just tired, and when I mention it to anyone, you should see how fast they excuse themselves. Hmm?
   Well, if there is one thing to look forward to, its when Dylan and myself head to Ecuador in July, these are the times I like and look forward to, just him and me, alone, enjoying. well, I feel as if all I'm going to do is rant so, until nexttime.