A flower needs the warmth of the sun, the moisture of the rain and the comfort of the dirt as it encompasses the seed. As the flower begins its life, it surges forth from the confines of the ground, rising and reaching for the life giver, the sun! In its young life, it will experience the trials and tribulations associated with it, from the winds as it blows hard, the creatures great and small who threaten to do it harm, and yet the flower lives! As it reaches to the hieght of maturity it spreads itself out to all the glory and beauty that its petals can bring forth. Now, its true self is out, bringing beauty, color and the fragrance of itself to alll those that wish to stop and smell it.
  Life is so much the same, we try our hardest to rise up above and beyond, to strive to the highest point of existance, sometimes we trample our neighbours, destroying the beauty around us and surplanting itself as the true one, the only one.
  I have had these experiences in my own life, from the very beginning of my own existance to the rise to adulthood, and now my stalk is weak, my leaves no longer reach out , my flowering head is now only just a couple of petals, trying very hard to hang on to the past, my past, my life of the past! As my life slowly comes towards the end, again the flower is about to finish its one life and now the seeds of itself are starting the cycle once again. My seeds are my children, and now it is their time to burst out of the ground on their way to reaching for the stars! I only hope that they have a greater reach than that of the father, that they will continue thier rise to a better and more sustainable existance.
  The disease know as ALS or lou gerhigs, is in my mind, as the poisoned ground that my life started in. I have been blessed by God, that I have had the time to be able to see my kids grow from kids to adults, to see them spread their wings and fly! That I had the time to see them grow into beautiful human beings, thanks be to you Lord for allowing me my one request, now I am ready to come home to you. 
     I was diagnosed on Sept 10, 2001 with a motor neuron disease, and thought that i would be dead and gone from this life, but I asked only one thing from God, and Jesus Christ, and that was that I be given the time to see my children to grow, to experience them, and to grow into adults that have and will forever make me proud to be thier Dad.
     My wife left me on Feb 20, 2007, so that she can have a better life than to have to sit and watch what this disease was doing to me. In her words," it's not fair to her to have to look after me when thing get worse!". This was from the woman I had spent 20 years of my life with, I guess that you truly don't know what a person is made from until something like this occurs. Over a year has now passed, and I still feel the hurt and pain of that day, I feel cold and dead inside, my heart, do I ever want to open it up to the pain ever again. When I told her that my biggest fear is to be alone, and all I got was laughter, and the answer that I can go and live with my Mom. Really, live with Ma. One part of me wishes that she will go to hell, that it all comes back to haunt her in the end, but another part feels sorry for her, that she can be cold and destroy everything for her own means and ends.