I did the aweful thing of tracking down an ex-crush on myspace and viewing pictures of him and his new girlfriend while sufjan stevens played on my itunes.
I mean, these were no ordinary pictures. There were about 50 or so of her hair shinin in the sun, laying around in wild flowers in a field, up close kissing and bright blue skies. Now, don't get me wrong... I'm not still in love with this guy. I hardly even know him anymore.
I think I cried because she reminds me of me a little. She's fairly big-boned and somewhat busty and full and her hair is really really curly and awkward like a great mom would have. Stephen is rail thin and absolutely gorgeously tall and mysterious. I cried because it was so beautiful.. what they have. And I guess I'm lamenting over not having it.
God........ I am so tired of lamenting. Please, remove this thorn from my side.