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Life seems to be a continuous battle. Battle against what you know to be true and what your feelings argue otherwise. I hold tight to my faith but there are so many times that it feels there isn't even a knot at the end of the rope I am hold on to. I can see, from a distance, all the blessings in my life (beautiful, healthy children, a faithful, kind husband, a roof over my head and food in my stomach) but when you are in the battle the joy is hard to reach.
The weekend has been like everyday of the week. Being a mom doesn't allow a "weekend" like most get from a regular job. I have managed to take one daughter to the library for the books she needed for an assignment plus get everyone else some books they were going to need as well. Then it was time to bargain shop at Rite Aid (you can get a lot of free stuff using their on-line rebate system, awesome!). That put me right at lunch time when I got home, so I fed the hungry  , put down the tired for naps(everyone but me of course) and left again with a different daughter to do a speed shopping run. I consider myself "on the clock" when I put the little ones down for nap (there is a limited time to get a ton done before they are back up needing me). We went to Meijers and a discount food place to "load up" on lunch goodies and other necessities. I used the time alone with our oldest, Heather (13), to encourage her about her special value and not to settle for anything less than God's best. We also enjoyed listening to my favorite 80's station. I love listening to that music because it is the only thing that can transport me to a time in my life that was full of carefree fun and good memories.
We returned home to my two year old saying, "HI MOMMY" with no pants or underwear on, but she was wearing a shirt . I knew what that meant, another load of laundry (She is newly potty trained and naps haven't been fully mastered). So I told her I would find clothes for her as soon as all the groceries that were covering my floor and counter, got put away. That alone takes a half hour, minimally. Somehow I managed to find room for all the food, put away the bags and boxes, then went to the next task. I got Faith underwear and pants, gave them their overdue snacks, then got the baby up only to find she wasn't feeling well. So in the midst of a crying baby, I started laundry, bathed three of the girls and then bathed Charity (the baby). Unfortunately the bath didn't do much for her.
My husband was working on our furnace, in the basement, and after talking, we decided we would try to go out for dinner (seeing we hadn't see eachother except for a quick "Hi" and "Bye"). But even a dinner out requires extra work on my part. I had to feed the children their dinners, get them dessert, assign who would be responsible for what and write down who gets what medicines (a few of them are still on antibiotics due to strep throat). After I got all that done, my husband (Bob), was showered, clean and ready to go. I, of course, had no time to make myself look pretty, but figured it didn't matter anyways. I did get to enjoy a really good dinner at Appleby's (we had a gift certificate from Christmas which helped). The time away was very appreciated.
Today (Sunday) I was woken up in normal fashion, with my two year old screaming in a way only she could. So I didn't lounge in bed, but got up, threw my church close on and blew into another day. Breakfast went well, after I cleaned up one glass of spilled grape juice, then another glass of spilled orange juice from two different children, of course. Then I moved on to getting everyone dressed which is always fun! It came down to the wire needing to find my 6 year olds other shoe and discovering I had one blue and one black one on myself.
There is nothing like going to church choking back tears but none the less, I always like fellowshipping with this awesome bunch of Christians and listening to a really heart felt message. I just struggle with wondering why I can't feel joy when I have been given so much. I know so many other people struggling too. So many people in pain. The source of the pain is totally different but I have learned, pain is pain is pain. Satan sure is having a wonderful time making people struggle more than ever before. I only wish I had more time to spend in quiet fellowship with God. To those of you who don't have spouses or children, take the time you have as a gift. Listen to someone who would covet any amount of quiet time with God (or anymore else for that matter).
I am thankful, that for a brief quiet time, right now. It will be reasonably quiet this afternoon during naps. I am taking advantage of that time to write this blog and eat a quiet lunch. I will try to use the time wisely. But I hope that reading this blog has been of some help to someone who thinks their life is bleak. Search for the positive, no matter how small, and hold on to the truth, God is good. No matter where you find yourself in your life, don't buy into the fallicy of "The grass in greener somewhere else". Make the grass green right where you are. Take care, and until next time, Good Bye
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Posted by bobkat on 2008-01-06 14:20:28 | Rating: | Views: 107
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