I'm so angry with my sister right now.  Growing up she was so responsible and then it seems like overnight she turned into this person that I don't even know.  It breaks my heart more than anyone can know.  She was doing things that I never thought that she would even consider doing.  We were raised so much differant than that.  She was stealing, smoking crack, drinking and sleeping around.  I couldn't trust her in my home and I didn't even want her around my kids for about a year and a half.  Recently she has started to really clean herself up.  She is living back at home with my mom and has been clean for about 6 months now I think.  Then about two months ago we all found out that she is pregnant, She seemed excited and I know I was excited for her.  I know that getting pregnant with my first child was what whipped my ass into shape and I was really hoping that this pregnancy would do the same for her.  Apparently I'm wrong.
A couple of days ago I was on her myspace page and saw a picture of her drinking at a party, at first I didn't think anything of it.  I just  figured it was an old picture from before she was pregnant, Only to find out from my mother that it was acctually from the previouse weekend.  I'm so angry with her its not even funny, and I'm even more angry that my mother is treating it like she everything else with my sister.  Like she is putting on a face when it comes to being angry with candice.  If you were to listen to her you would almost think that its no big deal!  I made the comment that if my sister ever did anything to harm this baby after its born that I would take her to court and get gaurdionship of this baby......Can you believe that my mother got on me about that.  She told me that wasn't going to happen and that I was out of line!  I don't think I'm out of line at all.  This baby has no control right now over what its mother does and she is only caring about herself!  You know if she was going to have the abortion I wouldn't say anything, but she is having this baby, she plans on going through it all and yet she is willing to take the chance of ruining this childs life forever.  We have a very close friend who has fetal alcohol syndrome, she has personaly seen what this has done to her life and my sister just doesn't care!!  I just don't understand how you can have that much disregard for an other human life especially one that is of your own flesh and blood.  I really just don't get it. 
So anyway, I wrote Candice a letter telling her how I feel and telling her how she is wrong for what she is doing and that she should be ashamed of herself.  I sent her facts on FAS and everything.  Now she won't talk to me.  I'm sorry but I'm not going to apologise for my letter or for the way I feel.  She has to think about more than herself right now and she isnt' doing that.  I'm sooooooo unbelievably dissapointed in her right now.  My heart is litteraly crying for that baby and there isn't a damn thing I can do to protect that child or my sister.  Damn her and her stupid, selfish thinking