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Blaire's Demented Stories -the Series intro

Blaire’s Demented Stories-
The Series
Published by Blaire LaClare
All Rights of Copy held by Blaire LaClare
A “Happy Bunny Oh So Sunny” Production
Along with “Blaire’s Demented Stories - The Series” Production

Oh, first, before you read on there is something that I would like to say to the reader -well, hopefully I can say it to the readers cuz I’m hoping this book is a multi-billion selling thingy maginy - I mean, I would like parents to buy this book for their kids because I want to share my hilarious stories with the whole world but I just feel obliged to warn you that as hilarious as I am I might not be for everyone (but we all know that there are few people that can resist my wonderful, awe striking charm…)

Anysway, on with the show…

Oh, at about 10 one night I read a few of my stories to my hubby who doesn’t think they’re hilarious and stuff, like I do cuz he just yawned, almost fell asleep and … anyways, after that night he mentioned that “Blaire’s Demented Stories” were good bedtime stories. I got mad cuz I think they’re hilarious and have worked on them for hours and hours and hours and hours and definitely don‘t think they‘re boring… So anyways, the thing I wanted to get at (FINALLY!) is that I hope that some -or a lot- of you find these stories as hilarious as I do but if not they also, according to John, make great bedtime stories so all I have left to say is READ ON…

PS. Oh. I should mention this: um, if anyone happens to think they’re the basis for one of the characters in my Demented Stories, and if this person in sentence - I mean question- is offended or something well,,, sorry (or maybe I’m not sorry). So anysway, unless I really happen to mention your whole name then you can’t get mad at me - well, you can secretly steam to yourself about how mean I am but you can’t really do anything so you’ll just have to kindly remember that there is unfortunately (for you, not me!) nothing you can do and that’s just life!! Ha! Moving on…

PPS. Oh! Oh! One more thing that I kinda sorta forgot to mention (well, actually, I didn’t forget, I’d just never thought to say it in the first place). When you are reading these stories you may happen to think they’re so so so so stupid and all of that fun stuff and you might think that the person (me) who wrote these stories is cooked and all that stuff. But of course you should think that these stories are nuts (which may possibly and subsequently make you think that the author [me] is nuts…)! They’re my “DEMENTED” stories so what would you expect?! Anyways, I just thought that I would mention that…

And on another not so kinda side note thingy-dingy I would like to take the time (not that I feel tore up about this since I have just about all the time in the world) to thank some persons of sorts for the inspiration they gave me to write these demented stories. So with no further a don’t -I mean ado- I would like to thank some people in no particular order but if you are last and would like to feel special put yourself at the top of the list by all means…
so yeah: I want to kinda sorta (doesn’t that sound cool?) dedicate this out to Danielle Foot - I mean Head- I mean Radchenko cuz she’s kinda sorta a big part of this cuz in high school she kinda sorta was the best friend anyone could imagine having (even though now she’s just a nobody to me… JUST KIDDING CHICKY! DON’T KILL ME IN MY SLEEP!)

Second but not least, to John Koop, my wonderful, wonderful husband -or at least he says he’s wonderful… just kidding John!- who I love just quite a bit… and because he told me that my stories are good bedtime stories and I want to spite (or something?) him by publishing them (although I don’t know what publisher would want to publish these…) and entertain millions and billions and gazillions (or maybe just four…) of people!

I have to dedicate one of two or five stories to Bobbi Stuart -and if she’s married by the time this’s published and if she by then has a new last name then just shoot me!- or actually…

To Danny Harty cuz he is really wonderful like Danielle, THE best -remember all our good times together Danny? And I suppose you can remember all the bad times too but hey, that’s no fun, right…

To Blaireth the Vampire… just cuz I like the Bermuda Triangle… hee hee hee… does anyone else get that?

To Justin Francis and Karla Tower and Kris Baker and Mr Muc and Chris… can any of you remember the fun times you had (well a t least I had…) listening to me read my Demented Stories to you at like midnight in my room in residence while the Demented Stories were just in their very first drafts? (did that make any sense?)
To Avery Gilbert Koop and Austin John Koop, my great sons, because they have nothing to do with this (they weren’t the inspiration for any of these stories but let’s not dwell on unimportant facts…)

And to anyone else that thinks they should be remembered and mentioned but I forgot…
Oh, and a few other people I kinda wanna dedicate my Demented Stories to are:
Fabian LaClare (hey bro!)
Chantelle Harty
Stephanie Greening (well, she WAS Greening until she decided to get married to confuse me and is now Stephanie Cross);
Jenine Troesch (well she was Jenine Troesch… and is now Jenine Willumeit…);
Teya Miklautsch and Suzanne Jullion (and they are now married and have different last names but pooey to you!)
Ashley Blanchette
Erin Mannix
Nicolle Latendresse
Nikki LaClare (my sister!)
Jeremy Head
Larry Lascelle
Jason St. Amant
Denis Cadrain (from Saskatchewan where it doesn’t rain very much! J)
Ryan Bellanger (who is not related to Denis Cadrain in any way…)
and last but not least I would like to thank -or dedicate this to or something-
Jim Olson
Randy Orchison
Shawn Koop (did I mention him already???)
Janelle Kappel

Oh, and I remembered that there’s one person I’d really like to -so I will- dedicate these Demented Stories to: my dad died on March 2nd, 2005 and I really miss him and he shared my kind of sick humour -well, maybe not to this extent… I mean who’s as demented as me…?- and that was kinda cool. Anyways, partly because of the demented humour I want to dedicate these stories to you dad! You’d love them (oh, and if you wouldn’t love them don’t tell me cuz it’ll deflate my demented little ego…)
And that’s all I think…
Oh! And just one more small matter that needs be (don’t I sound refined?!) addressed is this: the person that reports almost all of these Demented Stories is Blaire. How did you know…? Anyhow, it makes little to no sense that Blaire is/could have been at all those places to report all those stories but stop being so skeptical and stuck on realistic details… and on with the show… or stories… or…

Oh, there is just one other thing that I must mention to all of you people that, after only reading this much, find my story things too demented and confusing:
My friend Adam Hicks pointed out to me that my stories are funny -or is that just what I wish he said?- but that they are kinda quite lots really confusing and stuff and that to make them a teensy tiny bit LESS confusing a person should attempt no to read some -or even all- of the paragraphs. But of course I think that everything I have to say is wonderful and… well, anyways, have fun… whatever you do… bye for real…
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Posted by blaireth on 2009-11-03 23:47:46 | Rating: