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 certain sounds
i hear the beer cans getting thrown in the plastic bag, it makes my skin crawl, he throws them all away, as if its all ok,   i wish it was that easy,his liver will go out on him, and i will be  a widow, i am angry at him for leaving us early, how long can his body take the abuse nite after nite, crapp thank the Lord for therapy,,,,, i love him and i hate him, if thats possible, such a fine line, thank God for WORDS,  i can put down to get them out of my crowded brain,,,,i want to hold him and i want to shoot him, i want to let him in, i want to get as far away from him as possible, rollercoaster  let me off for awhile  and have some peace,  need to listen to my FATHER  he will give me the answers i am lookimg for, i am always looking for answers,,,but whats the question?????   peace
    Posted by bjm1 on 2008-06-05 10:24:36 | Rating: | Views: 42
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Sweetie...you are not alone. Millions of people live just like you do. It is hard to live with someone you love and watch them throw their life away. We are always wondering why we are not enough to make them want to quit..make them want to live. It is a difficult life to lead. I will whisper a prayer for you.

peace :) shemelts
Posted by  shemelts  on 2008-06-05 13:01:12 
  
Wow BJM, 'i hear the beer cans getting thrown in the plastic bag, it makes my skin crawl' here, you described exactly how I felt everynight I lived at home with my parents, as my father does the same as your husband. I'd be upstairs in my room, and here can after can being crushed and put in the recycling bin in the backyard before my window, and want to scream 'STOP IT, why are you killing yourself you stupid man?'

Now I live overseas, i wait for the day I get that call telling me he's dying because of his addiction. I think about this a lot.

Thank you for your post. Even though I am sorry you go through this turmoil with your feelings for your husband, it has helped me this morning to read your words, to know I am not the only one who loves someone close, but hates the choices they make everyday to kill them self with alcohol.

I hope with all my heart they find a reason to quit before it's too late xx
Posted by  deepintought  on 2008-06-05 19:46:29 
  
Only you know the question sweetie. I will pray for you and your problems,
I do believe in the power of prayer.
Peace to you too.
Posted by  circe  on 2008-06-06 01:12:40 
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bjm1
Colorado, United States

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