I let u in… took a chance… hoping this time would be different…

I let my guard down, opened up my hart and let u in, past the walls that were there for protection. Took a gamble that could once again scar me for life… maybe its my own fault for getting hurt this time, maybe I should have waited and been more protective with my hart… after all I should know by now that “love” only scares me!

But still I took the leap. Hoping that I would see the looming threats of heartache this time around… I didn’t! I'm still blind… fuck so blind! I still haven't learned my lesson, is still cant defend my feelings and my hart.

So now… I'm broken again or maybe just still… that I have never healed, only just covered up the hurting, a temporary band aid for a gaping wound.

So now I'm broken again and once again my eyes fill with tears… I am so tiered of crying… crying and hurting, loosing a part of me with every tear. My willingness and ability (I think) to love evaporating like water in the deadly Sahara sun.

Starting to believe that love is for the foolish and the fickle, for the dreamers and the losers!

Broken again… fuck it!! And the idée of love… I would rather sell my soul then ever let my hart be ripped apart again or be broken again!!