So, I've been thinking lately.
Thinking about the past to be exact. I dont like thinking about the past for a coupla reasons . One of the main reasons being because I dont like thinking about my mistakes . And also because I'm trying to be one of those people who tries to live in the present . And, thinking about the past all the time I'm pretty sure shows that I'm kinda mentally stuck there . Well, that's what I think . 

Anyways, I've been thinking about my ex-boyfriend.
Will and I met and started dating two years ago. Although I, let alone we, were fairly young, I'm not going to say we were in love , but rather strongly attracted to eachother . I like to think that we were off and on for two years . Although , if you ask him, he'd probably say that we only dated two years ago for a few months and that's all . I beg to differ. I like to think that we were off and on for two years because even after we ended it as boyfriend and girlfriend, in the two summers that past, and the year within it, there were attractions between us that normal friends wouldn't have . The passion that we had together was so strong, it took me up until this past november to get over him and realize that I dont need to be chasing someone that's gotten over everything that we've ever had. I needed to be moving on, and happy and I needed to accept the fact that times were changing, and so were him. And, it had to end .
But, I'm not going to lie, I was basically the happiest person in the whole wide world when I realized that I'd been wasting my time on nothing.
But now, thinking about it, I'm having second thoughts.
Dont get me wrong, I'm completly happy with my current boyfriend , no doubt I love him , but .. I feel incomplete without knowing that Will & I arent even the littlest bit friends . We dont even talk anymore .
And I'm not going to lie, whenever Will's around when Jon (my boyfriend) and I are together, I try to be less lovey dovey because I feel like he's secertly watching over me, yenno . Not in like a creapy stalkerish way, but in the kinda way where he just wants to see if I'm happy . And I feel that if he's looking, it'd be awkawrd.

Even though I tell myself that I'm over him, I dont think I am.
It hurt me so much when him and I were over . And thinking about it now, it hurts me even more knowing that we're not even friends anymore , we dont talk at all period .

Questions:      If you were in my position, what would you do ?
Does it make me a bad person thinking about my ex-boyfriend so much ?
If you were me, what would you do if you werent over him ?
What if he liked you back ?


cmnt please 8)