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For the second time over a 6 month period, I have lost my job. I work in the service industry and no matter what, whenever I start at a new place, there is always at least one girl who doesn't like me from the beginning. I am a very outgoing, happy, generous person. My personality is often described as "cheerful" and "always happy." I am happy with who I am as a person and I believe that I have a lot to give when it comes to female friendships. I have never been jealous, vindictive, or undermining to another female simply b/c I feel that she is prettier, has a better body, etc. As a matter of fact, I'll be the first person to see a beautiful girl and tell her just that. I do find myself envious of other females at times, but those reasons are not physical whatsoever. When I see a young mom with children or a newborn baby, that's the closest feeling of jealousy I every get. It's not a negative feeling, which is why I describe those feelings as envious. I'm 32 yrs. old and I am single. I want a family more than anything else in life at this point and I wish the woman pushing the baby stroller was me.
However, I just got fired from a job where I had only been for 2 months. The reason was that the cocktail waitresses were complaining about me; that I was ignoring their drink orders while talking excessively to patrons seated at the bar. I'm obviously a bartender. One month ago my manager pulled me aside and told me that the cocktailers/servers where complaining as I described above. I thanked him for the review and promised to be more aware of the servers waiting for their drink orders to be made. Since then, during every shift I have stood at the server well, waiting for their tickets to come up; leaving that spot only to attend to a customer who has approached the bar. I know for a fact that I made their orders a priority and improved upon the constructive criticism I was given. When I was fired yesterday I was told that the servers told management that it had only gotten worse. My manager (the only female manager there) told the owners the day before that I was eating and using my cell phone behind the bar while servers were waiting for drinks, as well as patrons at the bar. I ate one green olive from the fruit tray, which she obviously saw me chewing, and I pulled out my phone to set the alarm to vibrate when Happy Hour ended, so I would no longer sell beers for half price. I explained this to her when she asked after my shift, but the next day she did not include the response I gave in my defense.
I'm interested in some unbiased opinions. Here's another example, one of the servers, whenever our eyes meet, would turn her eyes to the other side, rolling them. I never had one conversation with the girl during my 2 months of employment.
The bartending job I was fired from previously, a few months prior, was b/c a bartender (the only other female bartender on staff) told my manager that I was on drugs and doing them at work. I didn't find this out for a few months after that. I am a drug-free person & if given the chance to take a drug test that night, I would have gladly done it.
I'm starting to wonder if I'm paranoid. Why do girls dislike me so much? I don't talk shit, I'll lend a helping hand almost always and all I want is to like and love everybody. A lot of friends say that girls are threatened, they are jealous. I have such a hard time accepting that as a reason for why I am being fired based on the comments of female coworkers. I have been bartending for years, so I know it's not a lack of experience.
I just want to be liked for who I am. I'm just so sad and I don't know what to do when I start the next job that I am now looking for.
Any advice? Look at my pics. I'm happy with the way I look, I love who I am, but I'm definitely no goddamned supermodel!! Why all the haters, huh?
Please, I need some unbiased feedback here.
Sad Sad Sad & unemployed,
H
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Posted by betsybaby on 2007-12-16 15:09:35 | Rating: | Views: 73
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I don't understand girls sometimes - and I am one!! You sound like the perfect friend to have, and yet you have to deal with jealousy and bitchiness. Maybe its because you are a happy friendly person, and most girls are threatened by that. Doesn't make any sense though!!
I'm the opposite of you - I'm a little shy and it takes a while for me to open up, but I always smile and try to be friendly. And I have had girls hating me most of my life. Spreading rumours and once, even listing down all my faults (which included facial expressions, hand gestures and words - so basically everything I did was a fault).
This probably didn't help you much, but I think from the way you described the situation that you are not at fault and only a victim of female jealousy and paranoia. I hope you can find a job where you are appreciated and liked for who you are!! You deserve that.
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Posted by HornyLittlePoker
on 2007-12-16 15:53:17
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Sorry for what has happened to you.
It does not sound like it is your fault. If I were in your position I would really pray and ask God for help.
He will lead you to something better, I believe and I am praying for you too.
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Posted by kathyjoyful2day
on 2007-12-16 16:04:35
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Almost every single woman I have ever known over the age of 20 have few or no real female friends. And the friendships they do have are often on again off again. The next job you get try and find at least one person you can be friends with someone to be on your side guy or girl.
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Posted by hammin8r
on 2007-12-16 22:22:43
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