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look what she did to herself, she never looked thi

ok im not going to bed yet because im so fat i can not stand myself all the past fat periods of my life are flashing back to my consciousness and i can feel it how my reality is going to be, just like i can feel the roll of fat around my waste and the blubber under my arm pits and the dimples in my legs and my bra hurts and i cant wait to take it off and put on my pjs and i cant stand wearing tight clothes but loose ones make me look like the fat lady in a circus and i cant wear what i want to wear i have to wear things that cover things and all the things i try to hide from everyone and i pray for cold weather because i am always hot and so uncomfortable i am always opening doors and windows and turning off the heat and everyone else around here is walking around with hooded sweatshirts and i only want to wear sleveless stuff but i need to cover my fat arms and i really dont like the sweater tied around the waste look but i do it to hide my butt and i am not real fond of black but its the best color for fat and i have so many cute clothes in my closet and nothing fits so if i dared complain I had nothing to wear my husband would have a fit because my cloet is overflowing with the smallest petite sizes you have ever seen and i can not get my big toe into any of them which makes me want to hide in a chocolate bar or dive into some cold ice cream or languish in a carmel and when i get like this i will even resort to bridge mix, that is when you are at the lowest of the low because i only like the choc covered carmels and the choc covered raisens and those things that taste like raisens only bigger and rounder and those things that have white inside and i hate choc covered peanuts or nuts of any kind so when i was little i used to only eat the the kind i liked and left the others for others but when you are being an eating machine, you just pop a handful in your mouth and you do not even care what you get, you end up going for quanity rather than quality you actually eat things you do not like just to be eating to fill the hole you just can not seem to fill and you swear every night you are going to stop this insanity like richard simmons says, but look at him, he is a bit off kilter dont you think and you tell yourself that you will not overeat tomorrow and you keep reminding yourself about that fun outing you had planned and you wont be able to go becuase you will be too fat to show your fat little face, you will be too humilited, people will stop and point when they see you wattle past them and say, look how she let her self go, its gastly, gross, what a pity and she was such a lovely looking lass in her day...look what she did to herself, yuck

Posted by bernadettesaint on 2007-11-22 22:25:05 | Rating:

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		I wanted to come and say hello! I have not seen you around. I love fat people, I never say gross, yuck, and I never point. That is just a conversation your having in your own head. If you stop making such a big deal out of it, you will realize others love you for who you are, not what size your jeans are. Stop being so hard on yourself. If it really bothers you that bad practice a little self control and stop eating so much. If you cant do that then learn to love yourself the way you are.
Posted by trevorjohn on 2007-11-23 06:39:22